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MadameMarque -> RE: Intention -vs- Perception (11/7/2007 11:18:05 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BBBTBW
Intention -vs- Perception
Which is more important? I think perception is. If what you intend is not how others perceive it, then your intentions are for naught if you don't do anything to modify your presentation. Right or wrong?
quote:
ORIGINAL: BBBTBW
For this one in particular, I was thinking more along the lines of interpretation of a communication.
Although I'd probably do better if I had an example, here, I would say I don't have a pat answer, for that. You're really asking something that's at the crux of communications and relating to others.
Okay, I know that this is wordy, but...
First, if someone communicates something and others don't interpret it as it was intended, this may be for two very different reasons: one, because the communicator just hasn't relayed the message in a way that makes the receivers understand the intent of the message; or, two, because unconsciously, the communicator is conveying something different than was their conscious intent.
Add to that, every communication involves the personal filters of both parties, the person communicating and the one receiving the message.
For example, someone pays you a compliment.
- If it doesn't sound like a compliment to you, it may be because you don't understand, in a more literal way, something they said.
- And part of why you don't understand may be that you have a personal reason for finding the compliment unlikely - so, it is a compliment, but you're having a hard time receiving it, so you take it as teasing or sarcasm.
- On the other hand, how many times have you heard something intended as a compliment, that actually contained an implied insult in it - a "backhanded compliment"? And yet, the person who said it sincerely thinks they've said something nice, because they don't realize how they've unintentionally let out something negative they're thinking, too.
Now, when misperception happens, and the communicator is made aware that the message is not being received as intended, you're now dealing with a whole new set of intentions. Does the communicator try to find out where the communication gap is, and correct the impression? Or does the communicator get defensive and start arguing that their way of communicating was "right" and the others' perception is at fault? And is the communicator offended by how their message was interpreted, as in, "how could you think that I meant that?"
At this point, for everyone involved, it becomes very important what their priority is - is it to defend themselves or to come to a meeting of the minds? Because that will determine their intention, and they will act on their intentions.
When you say, which is more important, intention or perception, it seems to me that they are rather inextricable - they play back and forth with each other.
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