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RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 12:38:33 PM   
MasterShibari


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		While it is true that some subs automatically dismiss younger Doms for their age, I have no qualms with their choice, it is theirs to make. 

I have found that if your profile is well written and actually expresses who you are, most people on this site are quite open and friendly.  I believe this is true for all Dom/mes, regardless of age.
M. Shibari

< Message edited by MasterShibari -- 11/4/2007 12:42:23 PM >

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 12:40:11 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		There are plenty of young people who have my awe and respect.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 12:48:29 PM   
anniedoll


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/22/2004
Status: offline 		My respect for a Dominant isn't determined by how many years he has in the lifestyle.  It's determined by what kind of person he is.  There are a number of younger Doms that I have respect for.  That doesn't mean I would choose to be their submissive.  When looking for a Dominant, I look for someone who has at least as much life experience as I do.  I'm approached often by younger men who assure me that they're incredibly mature for their age.  While that may be the case, someone at 22 hasn't had nearly the life experience that I have at 38.  It's just not possible, he hasn't been an adult long enough.  While I may like him and respect him, I wouldn't choose to be in a relationship with him.

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 12:54:28 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Fwiw, I find the idea of submitting to a younger dom really hot.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to anniedoll)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:10:52 PM   
wildangel3825


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline 		I dont think age is the problem...at least not for me.  I have been with a Dom 14 years older and one 11 years younger.  I do need someone I feel a connection to and have the chemistry with.  To be honest, the chemistry with the younger Dom was/is much better..we get along on a vanilla level as well as a BDSM level.  I think finding someone you have chemsitry with and shares you likes and dislikes is hard enough, disregarding someone because of age makes the process even more difficult.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:16:28 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

why don't younger Doms, like myself, get respect from older subs? They say that age brings experience but there are many older subs that have been in the lifestyle for less years than I. there are also older Doms that have been in the life for less. so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...


Speaking as one of the "older subs"...bleh...i would agree with what most here have stated.  Respect is earned, not given.
 
i personally have told most of the younger Doms that write to me that i just can't see myself submitting so someone so much younger.  Someone a few years younger is no big deal but much over that limit and i find it conflicts with *my version* of the D/s dynamic.  i'm ever-confused on why a really young Dom in his 20's would even be interested in someone in their late 30's for anything *other* than casual play (which is not what i'm looking for).
 
That said, the Dom i am currently interested in *is* younger than me, but he's at least in his early 30's so i don't consider that much of  a stretch and i also find no issues with submitting to him.  Plus, as You mentioned, he has many more years in the lifestyle than i do...which is also something i am truly concerned with (although many others are not). However, i'm not likely to volunteer to be anyone's guinea pig for their first time out the door with a crop.

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:22:46 PM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		The crownedprince - If you have to ask to assert your dominance, or expect that because you call yourself a dom all of the subs will come running to you. - then maybe that is your problem. My guess is your sending emails out and have a great many expectations, especially when you get a negative reaction. Let it go- you cannot control whether someone respects you or not.

_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to shellzbythesea)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:28:45 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I approach people on this site as people. I give respect to everyone as a *person*. Whether or not someone gets respect based on my submission to their dominance depends on the person involved. Frankly, I'm not looking for a "prince". A king, maybe.  I'd rather find someone who is established as a person in their vanilla life and has themselves together. I have yet to see that in a 22 year old. Also, my youngest is 22. The idea of submitting to someone her age is more than I could handle right now. Most of the youngest men who've approached me were turned on by the idea of whipping someone thier mother's age. I'm sorry. I'm not willing to take a young man's angst toward his mother on my hide.

Just my thoughts.........

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:34:11 PM   
Koala


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		I think the OP has had enough bashing for one thread, nay?

I think that age and power are closely correlated in our consciousness.

The world's most powerful men are older. Presidents, kings, and CEOs all wield social, political and economic clout... since we are raised with that power dynamic in our minds, it is far easier to associate older dominants with the idea of authority. Youth tends to be associated with strength and beauty, which can be used to acquire power, but aren't true power in itself.

True power is obeyed without force.

I think the key is to find someone closer to your own age to explore and learn with while you're young... and true dominance will come with time.

(in reply to MrSpectacular)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:35:20 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

While it is true that some subs automatically dismiss younger Doms for their age, I have no qualms with their choice, it is theirs to make.

I have found that if your profile is well written and actually expresses who you are, most people on this site are quite open and friendly. I believe this is true for all Dom/mes, regardless of age.
M. Shibari


You see, you're an excellent example of a young Dom that one will take seriously. For a 21 year old male (I almost said 'boy', but don't want to offend the leather crowd with implications of submissiveness. :P) your profile is beautifully written, thorough, and exactly the sort of thing I would look for if I was a subby. Since I'm not a subby I still see a profile like that and feel you are someone I could converse with easily.

Crownedprince, look at this guy's profile, look at yours, and learn the difference.

JMO.

Lady Seraphina

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to MasterShibari)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:42:45 PM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Koala

The world's most powerful men are older. Presidents, kings, and CEOs all wield social, political and economic clout...


That is, however, quite a modern thing. History has given us a lot of kings that entered the throne at 18 or even several years younger.

(in reply to Koala)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 1:54:16 PM   
Koala


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		True, but we don't live in the past. ;)

(in reply to Guilty1974)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 2:20:42 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		While it is true than many kings inherited the throne while young, most major accomplishments where made by older men (especially for their time .. when 30 was old, but you were fighting at 14). Now, I'm not a good example, because I will admit to being irreverent to a lot of men. Especially when they take themselves too seriously and expect submission or respect just because they have given themselves an impressive nickname. Loosen up and listen to some of the subs on here. Talk to some guys who have been around a while and learn. I for one, would not want a sub who would submit to anyone without talking and getting to know them. When I write to ladies, I treat them as ladies. I was raised that way. I've always been dominant, but I didn't walk around like a cocksure idiot proclaiming to all the ladies they should kneel and submit (well, I did once when I had too much tequila but the slaps I got sobered me up). LadySeraphina was correct when she said you should read the other young mans profile. Your profile is how you present yourself. What you earn in the way of respect and submission is WHAT YOU EARN. Its not given.


_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to Koala)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Younger Doms - 11/4/2007 3:13:49 PM   
MasterShibari


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina

Crownedprince, look at this guy's profile, look at yours, and learn the difference.

JMO.

Lady Seraphina


First off, thank you for the compliments, I will do my best to insure they don't go to my head.

Secondly, by all means crownedprince, if you wish go over my profile, do so.  I can also suggest some other Dom's profiles who I think are quite well written if you would like.  However, I would hope that you do not copy anything you have seen, and instead use it merely as a reference.  Your profile needs to be about you, not about a profile writing forumla (PWF) you picked up scanning a half dozen other Dom's profiles.

Best wishes to you on your journey, wherever it leads you.

M. Shibari

< Message edited by MasterShibari -- 11/4/2007 3:14:52 PM >

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 3:15:52 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Guess i am  more old Gaurd in some respects , I have been around prior to  when the catch phrase"lifestyle" had not been coined as a media bdsm term yet .There was no  OL Dom . I have even seen in recent years  quotes like i have been a Master Dom for 9 years  mainly online .There was a time where you earned your leathers  not bought them at a bike shop or mall .Yes i too think respect is not given it is earned .Personaly i always strive to keep learning , some just want to buy toys slap a lable upon themselves and want that instaDom .Know your bdsm and leather history , gain your skills ,and keep learning , never stop no matter the role that your in .

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 3:27:12 PM   
thecrownedprince


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		actually, for those that care, I do not demand respect from anyone. it's theirs to give. I do not demand from subs or slaves. I do not talk to them as if they are property but more so as if they are women. I message with respect and just ask that people get to know me. that is also a mistake many older people make. people assume that I demand respect right away, and it is not so. in the past i have had profiles like MasterShibari and true it has given me some results however I have had better luck with my profile the way it is. it may surprise you, it may not. this is my 3rd time on CM after 1 good sub and one fake. this has nothing to do with me demanding respect or anything like that, it is more about receiving respect as a person. if you message someone with "Hi, my name is... how are you? here's a little about myself? care to share a lil something about you?" should you not receive a similar respectful response? regardless if you're a newbie or an experienced Dom disrespect from such greetings is not warranted...

P.S. shibari's profile looks more like a resume than a personal profile. there isn't anything there from what I read that separates him from another Dom, I'm sure his profile works for him but writing a profile like his does not reflect my personality.

oh... and CAPS does not necessarily mean shouting via internet. some see it like that some don't. it may be your personal pet peeve, but your pet peeves does not change the intent in the use of CAPS. caps can be used to draw attention to, to give importance to, to "yell", or to stress a point. sorry if you don't like it... doesn't change the fact

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 3:55:43 PM   
MasterShibari


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		If you are having no problems, then what was the point of this thread?

And no, just because you wrote someone a nice polite message does not mean they owe you a reply.  If they see your profile and don't like what they see, they don't have to reply to you at all.  They don't owe you anything.

And as for a response to your comments about my profile?  -shrugs-  Thats your opinion, your entitled to it.  But you know what they say about opinions right?

M. Shibari

< Message edited by MasterShibari -- 11/4/2007 3:56:57 PM >

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 4:05:00 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i THINK  the point of of things are common interest or things people have in common through life experince. 
a 50 year old is not going to have anything in common with someone in their twenties. IF they have raised kids or have already been down the road of self discovery  which most people do not find them selves until they are thirty something. Older doms dommes have been and done things in nilla and in ds that most would not have. Yes theres are always going to be freaking exceptions to rules get over it.  But for the most part it is individual prefrence.  I for one do not want to redo collage years. I would want to grow beyond my limits and bemore  

(in reply to MasterShibari)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 4:09:59 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince
if you message someone with "Hi, my name is... how are you? here's a little about myself? care to share a lil something about you?" should you not receive a similar respectful response? regardless if you're a newbie or an experienced Dom disrespect from such greetings is not warranted...


Is this the "disrespect" you are referring to? You see it as disrespectful that your e-mails are not being responded to? If so, I believe that this is an inaccurate assumption on your part.

As an "older" submissive I can tell you that I have a full life with lots of responsibility and many things needing my attention that occupy the vast majority of my available time. Yes, I have a profile, one that I put some real thought and effort into to give possible suitors the most accurate picture of who it is that I am that I possibly could. The result of having that profile here is that I get contacted by a LOT of dominants....young and old. It would be impossible for me to respond in a meaningful way to every one of them who dropped me a note telling me that they would like to know more about me. Actually, that is probably the number one question I receive in an e-mail..."Tell me a little about yourself". Well, I thought I did that when I wrote my profile, but 9 times out of 10 when I click onto "Who's Viewing Me", the person who sends me the e-mail asking isn't even listed as someone who has taken the time to actually view my full profile. This tells me that he responded to my picture and if he was REALLY interested in knowing more about me he would certainly have taken the extra few minutes to see what information about me I had already taken the time to make available to him. Further, when I click onto HIS profile, 9 times out of 10 he has not taken the time to try to convey who he is or what he is about.

Guess what, his e-mail will probably not receive a response from me. It doesn't matter if he is 22 or 62. If I get a hundred e-mails and I only have time to respond to 10 of them, you can bet that I am going to give the attention to those that went the extra mile to make themselves stand out. I'm not looking for an ordinary partner...I am looking for an outstanding one.

I have also tried to respond to each and every one, even if it is simply a polite "thanks, but no thank you"....which only seems to compel people to send you back something rude. Apparently, rejection is hard for some to take....and "no thank you" is often seen as being just as disrespectful. Rock/hard place.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/4/2007 4:12:32 PM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

if you message someone with "Hi, my name is... how are you? here's a little about myself? care to share a lil something about you?" should you not receive a similar respectful response?

You have no idea how many of those messages the average woman on here, sub or dom, is getting, do you? 

No, they don't owe you a response.  And no, it has nothing to do with your age.  As far as I can tell, most of the messages my sub is getting (and she states very clearly in her profile that she is taken) are from doms who are 30+ years of age.


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 40
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