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RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 4:00:40 PM

OwnedShylah

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/5/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

why don't younger Doms, like myself, get respect from older subs? They say that age brings experience but there are many older subs that have been in the lifestyle for less years than I. there are also older Doms that have been in the life for less. so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...

I could ask the same question from the submissive end.

It seem, to me, at the age issue is a person to person thing. Some poeple think that only the old can be experinced, so you just have to prove them wrong.

People look at me and say, "she's 20... she's to little to even take a beating... and way to young to know how to serve."

What people do realize is that I've been into BDSM sense I was 16 and active in D/s and the lifestyle sense I was 18.

With time comes experince, Age and time can be diffrent things. With education comes knowlege... find a mentor who can help speed up you learning... then you will know more then someone 3 times you age with twice as many years in the lifestyle. Learn from your mistakes... we all fuck up, only the wise learn from their mistakes and move on.

The Master who I serve is a community leader and only 29 years old... he isn't respected by newb's untill they see his position in the community, then their jaws hit the floor and they start calling him Sir.

Shylah

< Message edited by OwnedShylah -- 11/5/2007 4:01:07 PM >

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Post #: 81

RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 6:20:10 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

well, junior, what do younger doms offer that older doms can't?

i'm looking for more than just sex on the fly when it comes to a relationship such as stability (mental, emotional, employment, and financial), common interests, the same goals, etc

I disagree with some of what you have said. I believe a Young Dom is perfectly capable of providing stability mentally and emotionally, as well as sharing common interests and goals. While it is true that many younger men are interested primarily in sex on the fly, so are many older men, and I dislike that you have generalized us all together. Not every man is motivated first and foremost by his penis.

As for financial stability? Well, in some respects your right. While I've always had a steady job since I was 16, I am still a college student. Which means financially, I'm well, a college student. -laughs- I'm not capable of supporting another person financially, even if I do a damn good job supporting myself.

Which leads me to another advantage most older Doms have on us younger ones, toy collections. While I’m proud of the collection I have of ropes, whips, vibrators, and other toys, I’ve only been collecting them for two years. Older Doms have in some cases been collecting them for ten times as many years, and are financially able to purchase things I can’t afford right now, such as violet wands and entire collections of whips, clamps, floggers, and cat-o-nine tails.

Best wishes to you on your journey,

M. Shibari

not if the older submissive comes with attachments (UMs) ...most younger doms i've run across aren't ready for that type of commitment and relationship yet when i was looking.

personally, a younger dom could not meet the goals that i was seeking out of a real-time, committed relationship.

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Post #: 82

RE: Younger Doms - 11/6/2007 11:26:04 AM

MasterMataeo

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedShylah

quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

why don't younger Doms, like myself, get respect from older subs? They say that age brings experience but there are many older subs that have been in the lifestyle for less years than I. there are also older Doms that have been in the life for less. so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...

I could ask the same question from the submissive end.

It seem, to me, at the age issue is a person to person thing. Some poeple think that only the old can be experinced, so you just have to prove them wrong.

People look at me and say, "she's 20... she's to little to even take a beating... and way to young to know how to serve."

What people do realize is that I've been into BDSM sense I was 16 and active in D/s and the lifestyle sense I was 18.

With time comes experince, Age and time can be diffrent things. With education comes knowlege... find a mentor who can help speed up you learning... then you will know more then someone 3 times you age with twice as many years in the lifestyle. Learn from your mistakes... we all fuck up, only the wise learn from their mistakes and move on.

The Master who I serve is a community leader and only 29 years old... he isn't respected by newb's untill they see his position in the community, then their jaws hit the floor and they start calling him Sir.

Shylah

pretty much ,, nuff said,,

as long as the four corners are realized and understood,, one can be young and respected,,,
took me long enough ,, to get to where i am,, and hard eought to earn the respect,, and it was mainly from the way i see things that i got it,,
not withthe many years,, for i have been in to it since my first sexual encounter,, and heavy since 17

and remember that knowledge is power,, and there is an awful lot of knowledge floating around,, nowadays,, but remember
the only true knowledge is that of wht you have experianced,,,

MM

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Post #: 83

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 8:30:59 AM

Lureaetagg

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Sorry to say, but as I read your profile I didn't find anything to repect either.

The younger Dom/mes have to prove themselves to be capable. Just expecting to be called a God/Goddess or whatever is stupid. Respect is earned.

Now thats not to say people should automatically start disrespecting you as a Dom/me. I myself require a certain amount of respect. Not a tripping over there feet Mistress. Ma'am but. I do not allow flat out rudeness either. I don't want to hear oh your to young and all of that jazz. I just found my lifestyle early that doesn't make me any less dedicated. Maybe less knowledgable but...

The point I'm trying to make is that if you want respect to the point that they should be falling over their feet to submit to you it will never happen. If you want common curtisy you should give it to recieve it. And if you want people to repond to your profile make it not suck. Tell more about yourself and who you are as a person and Dom, not just "oh I'm not who you think I am." The mysterious profiles don't work for anyone.

Hope this didn't offend but it's the truth and as a dominant person all you should care about is making yourself better to be the best Dom you can be.

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Post #: 84

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 2:57:41 PM

ravennfyre

Posts: 161
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

first things...randomly putting words in ALL CAPS for emphasis is ANNOYING....
secondly...your profile has two key words that would make me run for the hills in all caps: fake and real...
thirdly...your profile says nothing about you...
fourthly...your pictures suck, they look like they are left overs from highschool, you are 22, right?
fifthly...your attitude, as pointed out earlier is demanding respect, not earning it...and that will get you now where real fast...

is that enough to work on for right now?

heheh.... i love this... reminds me of high school when the teacher puts "SEE ME" in red marker in the corner of the page!

ohhh... love your hair, chelle!

chelle

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Post #: 85

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 3:42:13 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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Um what video gaming channel are these people on I would like to know. Sorry but you know i am just the kinda of person prove you are who you say you are or get the freakin hell out of my kitchen

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Post #: 86

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 3:45:36 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I respect all people to a certain degree, but as far as giving the type of deference that I give to someone as a dominant, I only give that to my Daddy.

If I were ever in the market for another dom, well, I wouldn't be able to give that sort of deference to someone significantly younger than myself because I only feel that way about people I am sexually attracted to... and younger men just do not do it for me

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Post #: 87

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 5:59:00 PM

sweetstorm

Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
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As a sub, it's not that I don't believe a younger man can dominate me, it's that I long for someone who is as or more experienced in life in general as I am so I have someone to go to for advice. Younger men come to me for advice, so then I feel all mommy-ish and crap.

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Post #: 88

RE: Younger Doms - 12/15/2007 7:35:43 PM

BondageSlaveMN

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

why don't younger Doms, like myself, get respect from older subs? They say that age brings experience but there are many older subs that have been in the lifestyle for less years than I. there are also older Doms that have been in the life for less. so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...

This reminds me of the whole "respect your elders" thing. As many others have said, respect is earned. You don't just get additional respect because you've managed not to die for 75 years.

An interesting parallel is the fact that knowledge does not impart wisdom; wisdom is the effective use of knowledge.

The reason you are having difficulties is multi-facetted. Firstly, most people equate age with knowledge and wisdom. This is a belief that is not very well grounded in logic as I have already pointed out. I'm afraid this is simply something you are going to have to live with as you will have a difficult time changing the minds of the masses (and often incompetent masses). Honestly, you should be glad for the way things are. You have essentially weeded out a lot of ignorant people simply by virtue of your age. I wouldn't want to be with a Dom who dismissed me simply because of my age. This would indicate to me that the Dom wasn't too wise themselves.

Another reason you may run into trouble is perhaps your attitude. I don't know and don't presume to know anything about the way you conduct yourself, but you may want to look within yourself and see if there is something in you that is driving the subs away. Whenever I find myself in a conflict, I first ask the question: "what part of this is my fault?" The things that are my fault, are the things that I can fix by myself. I've been in a number of conflicts where just changing my attitude and the things that I am at fault for resolved the problem.

There are, undoubtedly other issues at play here, but I've not the mental endurance to explore them presently.

Good luck.

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Post #: 89

RE: Younger Doms - 12/16/2007 12:31:57 AM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
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Speaking as a 40 year old slave? You could be the Dommiest Dom on the block and You prolly wouldn't float my boat. It wouldn't be a matter of respect but an ick factor... i tend to want to mother men who are so much younger than me. It's hard to submit to someone when You want to treat them like your kid. i am attracted to older men, always have been.

You seem to equate subs throwing themselves at Your feet with respect (or the lack thereof with disrespect). It just doesn't work like that. i'm sure there are older subs out there who like a younger man, if that is what You are interested in.

g

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Post #: 90

RE: Younger Doms - 12/16/2007 1:14:10 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear thecrownedprince, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I like to borrow a thought by General George S. Patton, US Army General during World War II. I think he said it very well. The response was to General Omar Bradley's comments about the soldiers under the British General Anderson which many were captured by the Germans. General Patton said--"Soldiers don't dress like soldiers -- act like soldiers, how to you expect them to fight like soldiers?" The same can be used as a form of measure as to submissives and or Dominants alike.

Anybody can 'humiliate' and bully, control and or be abusive as to 'appear' as a Dominant. However, in my experiences--this would be more of a 'controller' and or 'control freak' and or a 'micro-manager' rather than a Dominant who allows their submissive/slaves enough freedom to operate in a way as to permit them to submit from the heart, mind and spirit because they want to--not because they 'have to.'

Anybody can 'beat' someone --it really takes no skill and or art. But, it is an art and or skill to 'master' as to accurately place a stroke of a whip, a cane, single tail, paddle or such; as not to injure and hurt a submissive/slave, time and time again. To hit and wish it lands on the right spot is not artful but mere luck.

To be Dominant, in my mind's eyes--is to be the ability to master themselves first in many regards, to include how they act, behave, attitude, personal appearance, domestic appearances, in how they conduct themselves in the professional aspects, such as the job and or student aspects as well as at home and or with friends and or acquaintances. Leadership is often taking the lead as much as allowing others the control as to work in their own way as to complete their tasks. It requires a vast amount of patience in self, as well as with others and in all situations.

In my community, there are more male Dominants then there are female submissive/slaves types. They can afford picking the 'cream of the crop' and be very selective indeed. I feel that women find what qualities in 'that' man, as to give them the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical freedom to entrust 'that' man--regardless of age; with their whole being. It isn't for fantasy power trips. It isn't for just 'sexual intercourse.' It isn't about a woman doing house work and working for 'the man/Master/Boss' bringing home a pay check and him sitting on his bumm lazy and or unwilling to work hard themselves--or as some say--getting a free ride in life.' Women might be more inclined to select a male Dominant, who provides consistancy in feeling safe, secure, loved, respected, heard/listened to, communicated with, included and most of all -- appreciated. This comes from a man who has a mature and or 'old soul'--not dependent on a young and or old physical body.

For some women, they may have sons/daughters your age and that might cause some internal issues to which it all boils down to personal preferences.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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Post #: 91

RE: Younger Doms - 12/16/2007 11:36:37 AM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Personally for me, it's not about age as much as experience - in life in general as well as the lifestyle. If you're 50 without much experience, you aren't the one for me. The fact that you're younger means you may not (yes, there are exceptions, though few) have the life experience you need. I need to be able to relate to someone as a person and a Master. If you haven't paid a mortgage before, worried about bills (and not just covering your car insurance expenses you give to your parents each month), or worked a high-stress job, then we won't be able to relate about a lot of things. As someone who has a fair amount of experience in the lifestyle, I'm not looking to really "teach" someone who is to be my Master the basics of the lifestyle. Talk about topping from the bottom!

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RE: Younger Doms - 12/16/2007 2:58:11 PM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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I have a question for the op. Im a older Dom how come the young Doms are jealous of me???

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Post #: 93

RE: Younger Doms - 12/16/2007 5:15:53 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Can I give him a hint? Other than the fact that you're wicked and can spell backwards.

Cali

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Post #: 94