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Online Collar/Master - 11/4/2007 12:18:23 PM

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Is it considered real? Given the circumstances that you talk every single day to them via phone/web cam, would it be considered real?

Thank you,

-ws

----

Edit:

I do have a real life Master (but he is away right now), and the other has a real life slave.... just incase people were thinking that we only knew of this type of relationship online.

< Message edited by wonderingslave -- 11/4/2007 12:27:28 PM >

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/4/2007 2:14:21 PM

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Why do you care if other people validate your relationship or not?
If it's real to you, then all the power to it.

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/4/2007 2:15:03 PM

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Define real. If your definition of real matches your relationship then yes it is real

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 8:31:19 AM

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The feelings you can have are real, but ask yourself, can you really get to know who a person really is from a few hours you talk to them when they are putting their best face on? I knew one female that would talk really sweet on the phone and online, and then when she got off the phone, etc, she'd yell and curse the person out (iow, they didn't see that side of her). How real is that crap?

Even when the parties involved are being as honest as possible, imagination and fantasy tend to fill in the areas that we can't know or see about the other person, and we come away with false expectations about who they are.

This online stuff is just a form of communication, and that's it. It's not the right place to make and carry on a relationship (unless there is some reason you are avoiding having a real person right there with you in your life *evil grin* ... and ya'll know that type)

(in reply to Myster)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 9:33:44 AM

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To me personally......no, it's not real, no more than any other computer game.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 9:42:44 AM

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It's as real as your shared feelings are. There are people I've never met, but whom I've spent a great deal of time with on email and the phone, and whom I care a great deal about and consider friends.

My first Dominant- my first taste of anything D/s - was online. We shared a bond for several years and never met. 6 years later, we're still friends and stay in touch regularly. We have helped each other through several life issues and help each other with career resources as well.

There are very real long distance relationships between people who can only see each other a few times a year - I suspect they use the time in between visits to continue to develop and enrich their relationship.

Obviously adding an in person dynamic adds to the richness and depth of a relationship, but how we relate to each other is real, no matter what the medium.

Then again, I can't speak for what's real to another. If you and your dom feel it is real together, then it is real to you.

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 9:42:47 AM

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It's as real as having a pen pal.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 9:52:20 AM

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This girl has experienced the step from IRC texting to phone chat (15 minutes of laughter b4 we could even say "hi!" to each other, and then to meeting her at the airport, which was as different as the step from text to talk... In retrospect I spose text and phone provide an intro and a cushion that CAN allow for a R/T meeting. In that sense it would be real. well, a real prelude. Like when someone tells you about their friend who wants to meet you this friday, and the questions you ask about them. That's real, even though it's really an interpretation of the other person.

This girl has confused herself :)

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 11:28:58 AM

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It absolutely is real. You are a real girl with real emotions talking to a real person. I submitted to my Master online and we sustained our relationship for several months before meeting. It may not have lasted had we not eventually met...but my submission was true and His ownership was complete. It was what I needed at the time and I could not build the trust needed for realtime interaction (I was so new and so scared of the lifestyle) if he had not taken our online relationship seriously.

And yeah, what that other person said...if it feels real to you, don't rely on others to validate it. Peace to you, girl...

(in reply to SoHott)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 11:51:45 AM

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greetings wonderingslave,

do your master and his slave know about the situation, out of curiosity?

i would consider it real if you plan to move to real time...i have had two relationships (one of which was d/s) begin online and progress to real life, long distance. but i think that an online relationship with no possibility of meeting or serving in real time can only go so far. like ownedgirlie said...i have many friends that i have not yet met in real life that are just as real to me as my friends, but i still think that some element of reality or the potential for such needs to be present for an online d/s relationship, at least one that would be committed...otherwise to me it is more like roleplaying. but that is because i view such a relationship in that way...i view friendship differently and other things differently as well. your mileage may vary.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to chickst3r5000)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:01:48 PM

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This is written in Social Psychology Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson, Robin M. Akert, and Beverly Fehr~ Third Canadian Edition. pg286-287 (for those interested)

"These days strangers can get to know each other through electronic mail and computer chat rooms. Computer-mediated communication offers a twist on the propinquity effect [the finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends]; the fact that someone is thousands of kilometers away no longer means you can't encounter him or her. Are computer-based relationships the same as ones formed in everyday life? Do computer relationships survive when they move from the computer screen to face-to-face interactions? Researchers are beginning to explore these questions Lea & Spears, 1995; McKenna & Bargh, 2000; Walther, Anderson & Park, 1994). The early results are encouraging.

For example, recent laboratory experiements have shown that people report being more comfortable revealing their "true" self to a partner over the Internet compared to a face-to-face intereaction (Bargh, McKenna & Fitzsimons, 2002; McKenna, Green, and Gleason, 2002)...Perhaps most importantly, research is showing that relationships formed over the internet resemble those developed face-to-face in terms of quality and depth (Bargh & McKenna, 2004). In addition, a recent two year follow-up of romantic relationships formed over the internet found that break-up rates were similar for those generally reported for relationships formed in person (McKenna et al., 2002).

I just found this interesting as i was reading my text book and thought i would share.

< Message edited by astarri -- 11/5/2007 12:02:10 PM >

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:07:47 PM

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From: Calgary, Canada
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I met my husband/consort online. I wouldn't have built a serious relationship based on the interweb only, but it was a great place to meet him, and begin to get to know one another. To be honest, I don't think I'd have kept him if he didn't shag like the energizer bunny, though! (After that I learned he was also compatible in every possible way, but it was the sex that hooked me. *shrug*)

Yes, I think you can form a strong bond online, but I believe you need to know there is an eventual face-to-face relationship in the works.

JMO.

Lady Seraphina

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to astarri)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:29:14 PM

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I would agree with that LadySeraphina although i also believe if both partners are aware that it would be an online only relationship it would still constitute a relationship. Just not one that could go to next level of face to face contact. This kind of relationship would be easier to be deceptive in despite cams, phone ect. I believe though that two people can still be honest and over time it would be more difficult to contine a lie and the relationship would dissolve quickly. I do like to think that the majority of people are honest in the world... online or real life.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:31:39 PM

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hi

(in reply to astarri)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:45:53 PM

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I think its important to recognize on-line is a tool. A tool that opens the doors to the world and all its peoples and variations, meeting someone on line and developing a dynamics that even remotely enriches and builds awareness is a tool well used.
However, you must not lose sight of your original reason for using that tool and/or
why it is important to refine it and use it further your asperaction.

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:49:06 PM

mya75

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderingslave

Is it considered real? Given the circumstances that you talk every single day to them via phone/web cam, would it be considered real? If you and he consider it real then I would assume so considering there must be emotions involved , However for me internet,phone and cam is not enough for me to submit to someone and call them Master ..my plan has been to stick to Sir and their role is my "Mentor" until I have met them and established something in person. I just wish to reserve the use of "Master" and the act of submitting.

Thank you,

-ws

----

Edit:

I do have a real life Master (but he is away right now), and the other has a real life slave.... just incase people were thinking that we only knew of this type of relationship online. You have an online Master and a R/T Master? Two Masters? If phone and internet and cam are good enough for this second Master to be called such I cant imagine where your real Master would be that you would have to hault your submission to him and submit to another..**I am confused**

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to wonderingslave)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 12:55:07 PM

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From: Calgary, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

I would agree with that LadySeraphina although i also believe if both partners are aware that it would be an online only relationship it would still constitute a relationship. Just not one that could go to next level of face to face contact. This kind of relationship would be easier to be deceptive in despite cams, phone ect. I believe though that two people can still be honest and over time it would be more difficult to contine a lie and the relationship would dissolve quickly. I do like to think that the majority of people are honest in the world... online or real life.

Excellent point, astarri. You can certainly maintain relationships that are online-only, and have no intention of ever becoming RT. I could not be more than friends with someone who would only ever be an online contact, but no doubt it suits some.

I also believe that many people are More honest online because there is less risk of rejection - what's the most someone can do, send you a rude email? Delete it and move on. yes, there are wankers, but you can weed them out quickly. This is why I prefer to meet people online in many cases, rather than seeking them out in person first - larger pool of choices, more ability to weed them out, and more likelihood they will be honest as they have less fear of rejection.

Lady Seraphina

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to astarri)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 2:54:54 PM

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Joined: 10/22/2007
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Can you get pregnant from cybersex? It's not even close to real.

In an online relationship you are in part having a relationship with another person and in part having a relationship with your perceptions of the other person, what you want them to be. You are only given an incomplete picture, so your imagination, in order to create a richer and fuller fantasy, fleshes out the rest. It's an interractive Mills and Boons novel that takes place in your head, with your own mind fleshing out the details.

You can't know how it feels for him to slap you, discipline you, feel the strike of his authority on your tender bottom... you can only imagine. You can't know how it feels to be scooped up in a pair of warm arms and be told he is proud of you while he strokes your hair, kisses your nose and calls you babygirl... you can only imagine. Your imagination is an incredibly potent thing, there is no way you can avoid embellishing the missing details to fit your ideal fantasy.

Is what you are feeling real, of that I have no doubt.... that doesnt make the relationship itself "real". I know that will upset a lot of people in online relationships, and I have had my share of them too, which is exactly what my opinion is based on.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 3:08:25 PM

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I'm with mya on this one. Why are you doing this with some random Dom if you have your own Dom? Is it a case of "while the cats away"? If so, you're treading on very thin ice there. If I found out one of my slaves/subs was doing that, I'd be kicking his arse, followed by a quick trip to www.yourarseoutthedoor.com

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

RE: Online Collar/Master - 11/5/2007 4:54:46 PM

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If it's real to you, then it's real. For people who say the feelings can't be real unless you spend enormous amounts of time together, I suggest they look at the love affair of Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. That courtship was conducted almost exclusively by letter and it led to a long lasting and happy marriage.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

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