RE: "play-partners"

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RE: "play-partners" - 8/9/2005 12:38:41 PM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

I think Sultry hit it right on the head with that post. There is a huge difference between being submissive and being someone's submissive.

Tade

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/11/2005 9:35:54 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

It takes awhile to find the guy of your dreams, believe me. I met my husband four years ago, and we are just getting into bdsm now. He is my Master, my best friend. I wish you the best of luck on your search, and remember there are other fish in the sea.

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/12/2005 7:45:36 AM

MtPleasantsubAsh

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

thank you A/all once again..smiles...I'll keep on keepin on

_____________________________

-Be still my heart!-
-I'm trying, Sir-
-I guess I'll have to tie you up then-
-Oh, no, please Sir..anything but that!-
*WEG*.....my ass.

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/13/2005 8:55:40 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MtPleasantsubAsh

I have known him for over two years...we've been talkign and meeting for only a month and a half....but i assumed we were in that sort of relationship. I was wrong to. And i suppose i just have to be more careful.

Although my experience in “real life” has been exclusively with Gorean slaves, kajirae, and not with subs, I can understand how easily it is for a sub/slave to become emotionally involved with his/her Dominant. I strongly suspect that the newer sub/slaves in the lifestyle are more vulnerable to this that some one who has been around for some time and understand the psychological dynamics better from experience. To that add that some people are more ready to fall in love or get emotionally attached than others. On a generalization basis, and I hate generalising usually, it does appear that the female species has a greater propensity to become emotionally attached than her male counterpart. If sex has been added to the mix, then this too is a powerful binding force.

Be assured that out there is the right Master for you. The secret is not to try to seek too hard.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/21/2005 10:21:58 AM

Posts: 145
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

As i read your OP, i wondered if the two of you need to speak about this some more. Reading on, i found out that y'all have known each other for two years. i personally think that, unless you are ready to walk away from that two years, you need to speak to him further about this. Ask him what his expectations are, where he sees this going...say 6 months from now. Tell him about your expectations from TTWD, tell him that you will eventually need a deeper emotional commitment. If this discussion is not satisfying, then it would not only be okay, but better for you to walk away, to look for someone who will fulfill all your needs.

_____________________________

"Treat every day like it is a gift. Unwrap it and then wrap your arms around it; it will surprise and intrigue you." --N. Elchibini

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/21/2005 11:07:46 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
Status: offline

Hugs to you, sweetie. Seriously.....

You do seem sweet, in a sexy innocent way as well as good natured (hope you don't mind me saying so) and seem to have a lot of qualities that are valued. (likely more than you would give yourself credit for.)

So, you have learned a really lot about yourself and now know what type of situation you need to be happy. That means a lot!

By having found yourself a bit more.. find someone who would be pleased to have all of you in the way you dream of.

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 8/29/2005 3:57:57 PM

MtPleasantsubAsh

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

TY TY kitty and Tawne....you two are sweet, and ty for the nice things you said....I..i am going to discuss it with him, b/c i know i need more than a casual relationship. i need stability however cliched.ty A/all for your support and comments..

*sighs* the only hard part is talking....*sniffles* and hugs to you A/all.

_____________________________

-Be still my heart!-
-I'm trying, Sir-
-I guess I'll have to tie you up then-
-Oh, no, please Sir..anything but that!-
*WEG*.....my ass.

(in reply to Fawne)

RE: "play-partners" - 9/3/2005 10:15:14 AM

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

Hi Ashley,
There are several married couples on here that are also Master/Slave or Dom/Sub. Why don't you contact them and find out what worked for them? Maybe they could give you some insight that the rest of us don't have.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 9/3/2005 10:40:09 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline

So sorry..and, boy, can I relate! I believed that what I had with my "play partner" was something special- the deep trust, honesty(well, at least on my part), submission, domination (I'm a switch)- baring my soul, sharing my secrets, opening myself up, trotting down roads previously unsearched because I did not trust. Then, the "couple" thing came up and I was quite blatantly told "It was only sex". My heart reeled, I curled in pain, I didn't (and still don't) understand.
I guess that's why "negotiation" and honesty in feelings is a must right from the start. What made me "starry eyed" just made him "horney".
I will survive and I will find someone to adore just me. Maybe.........
Lacey123

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 9/3/2005 12:49:18 PM

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I guess this is one of the advantages of being married and playing. I tell my Sub upfront that I'm married and have no intention of changing that. She KNOWS that we are not 'a couple' and she should never be hurt since she knows this is supposed to be fun and sex for BOTH of us. Of course communication is still the key, and I still watch closely to be sure she doesn't get any wrong ideas. I don't want her hurt unneccessarily.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Lacey123)

RE: "play-partners" - 9/3/2005 4:15:38 PM

MtPleasantsubAsh

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

UPDATE:

SO...i decided it was time to talk to my play-Dom...and alas...he told me i was jsut immature and too needy for him...and that it was my fault for being so naive, ect...
*sighs*
i've come to realise....he's just an ass.
i share the blame for lack of communication,
but there was no need to turn on me.

I guess now i'll just keep looking for the One for me to serve, and the One who will treasure me and my love.

_____________________________

-Be still my heart!-
-I'm trying, Sir-
-I guess I'll have to tie you up then-
-Oh, no, please Sir..anything but that!-
*WEG*.....my ass.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

RE: "play-partners" - 9/3/2005 7:46:06 PM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

Sorry to hear that darlin', I really am. It may take awhile but the One for you to serve will find you someday. Untill then have fun on the journey and remember just because someone acts dominant does not mean that they are YOUR dominant. There is alot of trust that goes along with this type of life, and not just everybody is worthy of that. Just Our little opinion. And hey, there are always vacations to Florida..LOL

Between now and then,
Tade and Bara

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/4/2005 7:13:54 PM

MtPleasantsubAsh

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

Hmm....i've found my One..and we both fully understand each other..(wasn't about to make that mistake again0
MyLord Richard and my slave sister tawnie are all very happy, and will be for years to come/
Yes, i'm the OP. ty all for your advice...
hugs and kisses to A/all.
i'm so very happy.
-subAsh

_____________________________

-Be still my heart!-
-I'm trying, Sir-
-I guess I'll have to tie you up then-
-Oh, no, please Sir..anything but that!-
*WEG*.....my ass.

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/4/2005 7:55:02 PM

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MtPleasantsubAsh

Hmm....i've found my One..and we both fully understand each other..(wasn't about to make that mistake again0
MyLord Richard and my slave sister tawnie are all very happy, and will be for years to come/
Yes, i'm the OP. ty all for your advice...
hugs and kisses to A/all.
i'm so very happy.
-subAsh

So do I give the honest answer or the sweet answer?

You realized your ex was an ass and ended it exactly 30 days ago.

Now you're not only lucky enough to have found "the one" but also happens to be a poly situation.

I won't say lightning never strikes and I sincerely do wish you all happiness, but I just find it a bit too soon and too good to be true.

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/4/2005 9:49:57 PM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

You realized your ex was an ass and ended it exactly 30 days ago.

Now you're not only lucky enough to have found "the one" but also happens to be a poly situation.

Maybe another 30 days will tell? Does seem rather sudden though. OP have you taken time to sit & just think about what you really want for yourself...NOT what you're looking for in another to fill voids within yourself but what YOU really in your heart want out of life.

Now OP profile missing & the only Lord Richard that comes up is 21 & wants online only before he goes RT...very puzzled

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 10/4/2005 9:53:58 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/4/2005 11:04:40 PM

Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

This is also the same girl who had the anal sex aftershock and the master who was so concerned she might hemorrage if they had sex during her period.....

Well perhaps Lord Richard is at least a sharper tool in the shed than the other guy...

(in reply to theRose4U)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/4/2005 11:53:02 PM

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Is that the sound of the sound barrier breaking again I hear... or just the rip of velcro. Yes I'm being cruel, sometimes you have to be a little cruel before you can be kind.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to FLButtSlut)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/5/2005 3:14:30 AM

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Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

She is very young , and probably has no real bearing on what A D/s relationship truelly is. She is frenzied to find the love of her life , when we all know this takes time and patience( which over time im even learning ..the patience thing)

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/5/2005 5:50:07 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Well, here's a vote to prove us and general history all wrong and become one of those rare exceptions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

She is very young , and probably has no real bearing on what A D/s relationship truelly is. She is frenzied to find the love of her life , when we all know this takes time and patience( which over time im even learning ..the patience thing)

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

RE: "play-partners" - 10/5/2005 6:52:05 AM

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

This is where the old school rules would come into play. Did you discuss a relationship, or what they nature of your relationship is before you started (that should be a necessary and important part of the preplay negotiations)? Don't assume. There is no substitute for actually knowing what the situation is. At this point, he's told you what he thinks the nature of the relationship is: you're play partners, nothing more. Consider this to be a lesson learned. And ask next time around.

Robert

(in reply to MtPleasantsubAsh)

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