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RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/13/2007 6:24:28 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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I respectfully offer a different point of view:
Not every Master communicates clearly or works as hard at solidifying a relationship as you apparently did with yours.
If the expectations are not clear from Master to slave or if there is an ambiguity between them then they share in the "failure" if they can not work past
it... . the slave alone is not responsible when there is a breakdown in communication and to tint things in that light contradicts what you have said to be true.
aJ

(in reply to masterlink65)

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Post #: 41

RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/13/2007 7:20:01 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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i agree. slaves should be encouraged to ask questions instead if trying to read its masters mind and fuck up an order. i would much rather give a good answer to my slave than a good beating.

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Post #: 42

RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/14/2007 7:22:25 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Testing me? Deliberately setting up fake scenarios to see how I respond? That smacks majorly of insecurity to me.

He didn't go about 'testing' me. We had adult conversations where we both talked about what we needed. He also didn't think that just because he had collared me I would magically know everything I needed to. He took his time and taught me to do the things I had neither knowledge nor any comfort level in. He didn't set up a situation where I either passed or failed. He doesn't set people up for failure.

Oh and the types who do set up situations where someone can fail, instead of doing what is necessary to ensure he/she can succeed? They aren't people I have any respect for at all.

(in reply to Lumus)

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Post #: 43

RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/14/2007 7:52:05 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiss0fpoison

i had a Master who was alot older than me and i, to this day, blame myself for being a bad slave in this relationship. i was wondering if anyone could help me in seeing if i was in the wrong.

This man got angry so fast! It was like a fuse that was pre-lit! He would never enforce any rules, he would just set them and whenever he felt like it.. he'd tell me to do..whatever. I told him various times that He needs to enforce the rules for me to understand that He is serious or i wouldn't expect to have to follow it. Of course, he would get mad at that and blow it way out of proportion and for the next 4 hrs he spent making my life miserable to prove a point. He would tell me that I am not a good slave and that he must be such a horrible Master... so a guilt trip. This would happen at least once a week.

The reason why i stayed was because i was financially dependent on Him and had a baby with Him and didnt want Him to have to miss out on her growing up like he did His others.

I stayed for the longest time until i just shut down everytime he would go into his craziness...

So, am i just a really bad slave and should look into becoming vanilla or ... was He a fake?

`rain`

I cannot tell your mindset or his from what is here. But, a question that you can only answer yourself pops to mind.

In service, do you want and need a "Top Sargent" that will bark orders and physically enforce all regulations? Or, do you need a dominating man who will set boundaries and expect them to be followed without constant supervision?

The way you worded your question reminded me of one of the check boxes in the troop evaluation forms I had to fill out in the military: "Does good work under constant and direct supervision."

I always preferred, "Follows instructions with zeal and competance. Able to work independently to achieve directed goals."

Stefan

(in reply to kiss0fpoison)

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Post #: 44

RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/14/2007 2:25:00 PM

masterlink65

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communication, very important from both sides.

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Post #: 45

RE: Identifying bad Masters - 11/14/2007 8:15:48 PM

Solinear

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/8/2007
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He wanted someone who would just do what was expected and do little to enforce it until it drove him over the edge. Some may disagree with me, but the most important thing that any Master should have is self control. How anyone can expect others to be controlled by them when they can't control themselves is beyond me.

You appear to be a slave who needs to have someone on top of them. It may just be the whole thing where you need someone to give you that disappointed look followed up with "Those dishes need to get done, but I'm sure you already know about that" or you may actually need to have him tell you to do the dishes then swat you with a paddle every time you finish a dish so that you know in the future if you're not going to get the dishes done, it had better be only a couple of them.

Were you a bad slave? No, you were a bad slave for him. Was he a bad master? Like I said, if you can't master yourself enough to avoid going nuts on someone, how can you master someone else?

(in reply to Slaveless1)

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Post #: 46

Masters, johnsons, and so on. - 11/14/2007 8:21:17 PM

ThomasMore

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Joined: 9/25/2007
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I suspect this shall be worked in to the next Jeff Foxworthy tour, what with his cutting-edge comedy and all.

"You might be a bad Master if..."

(in reply to Slaveless1)

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Post #: 47

RE: Masters, johnsons, and so on. - 11/15/2007 2:09:58 PM

masterlink65