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RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 7:12:57 AM

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

your right you here it all the time. It comes from Mindless Stupid people who have nothing better to do then to make drama. There is something in their charector thast loves and lives the chaos. If they can hurt or cause trouble for people they will. It is kinda like away of getting attention. SO in a nutshell life is not as important to how others view us but how we view ourselves. IF you truely believe deep down you who you say you are. There will be good people that notice. THe ture fakes are those that try to tear us apart. (every rich man started with a penny. Every great thought started with insperation. Greatness comes inside not out )

beware of the drive by posters they will tear your soul apart

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 7:32:20 AM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalari

There have been four instances now, however, in which people accuse me of being "fake" after I inform them that I am collared. Three Doms have accused me of being a man posing as a woman, and one Domme has accused me of having a "fake owner." The latter also was quite upset with me and told me that I shouldn't be on the site at all if I were not seeking.

unfortunate experiences... seems to be rather common for submissive females to have to deal with this issue

quote:

But I consider this a community, not a dating service. I've been in the lifestyle from a young age and I've always felt that I could find refuge and comfort within the like-minded people that I find both here and in my community back home. Am I wrong for thinking this way? In my profile, I am seeking "friends only" and nothing else, and in the text I not only say that I am collared but I reference His screenname as well. I am not leading anyone on... But is there something that I can do to make my reasons for being here more clear? Or are these Masters and Mistresses correct in saying that I should leave if I'm not available?

Yes your wrong.... Wrong to think that every one is Like-Minded. Not everyone is like minded to you. For some this is only a community... and not a Dating Service... for some it both.... for others it might be a game ......

Are their like-minded individuals? Yes... but NOT ALL of us are going to be.

Part of being a Healthy Well-adjusted individual is to protect their boundaries from others. There are going to be those that cross your boundaries... EXPECT IT! Expect that you will have to protect your boundaries... lastly... don't wasted your energy worry about them afterwards.

Lastly... stay if you want to stay.. go if you want to go... It's your boundaries!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 8:10:44 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

More than a few collared slaves can be easily seduced away (and in fact many are just open and waiting and hoping someone WILL try). They are hoping that they can get your attention by reacting defensively to them and showing a weakness that they can then exploit.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 9:36:20 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

This is your life. Only you and yours know what works for you. The rest can fuck themselves. Really.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 9:47:41 AM

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I would make one suggestion that helped me, and that is to get a little more blunt. Change your first sentence from "I would like to begin...friends only." to something like: "I am not looking for anyone."

I had to do something similar because some people translate "looking for friends" into "well I can convince her to be something more than friends if I try hard enough". It really has cut down on the offers to be my "one true master who can lead you to the one true path." Amazing how many "one true masters" there are out there.. who knew??

Cali

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 10:09:19 AM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalari

Or are these Masters and Mistresses correct in saying that I should leave if I'm not available?

No, they're not. Ignore them.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 10:15:20 AM

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/15/2007
From: Portland Oregon
Status: offline

i have a Dom and state it in my profile.....still i have been welcomed here.....being new, i am sure that this site like other chat rooms, groups, forums, ect. there will be a few who like to stir up trouble, make newbies feel unwelcomed....so i agree with those who have said "Make friends on the forum, have fun.... :)

_____________________________

Michaelsangel dutiful sub to SrMichael

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 10:17:53 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalari

Hello all. I have a problem that I took very lightly at first, but it is beginning to become a problem and I feel the need to reach out for help.

I want to begin by saying that I am a collared submissive. I am happy in my relationship, which has lasted for three months now. And I understand that some people here just don't take the time to read profiles, and that is why they try to demand things of me or ask me to meet them. When this happens, I am always very polite and take great care in responding and letting them know my situation.

There have been four instances now, however, in which people accuse me of being "fake" after I inform them that I am collared. Three Doms have accused me of being a man posing as a woman, and one Domme has accused me of having a "fake owner." The latter also was quite upset with me and told me that I shouldn't be on the site at all if I were not seeking. But I consider this a community, not a dating service. I've been in the lifestyle from a young age and I've always felt that I could find refuge and comfort within the like-minded people that I find both here and in my community back home. Am I wrong for thinking this way? In my profile, I am seeking "friends only" and nothing else, and in the text I not only say that I am collared but I reference His screenname as well. I am not leading anyone on... But is there something that I can do to make my reasons for being here more clear? Or are these Masters and Mistresses correct in saying that I should leave if I'm not available?

Thank you so much for your time. This has been bothering me for a while now. Blessings, and hugs.

~Rowan

Two possibilities come to mind:

1- you are fake, and the ones accusing you are perceptive and intelligent people.

2- you are not a fake, and the ones accusing you are stupid, cow-patty sniffing imbeciles.

If #2 is correct, then why let such people do harm to your mental state?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 10:21:05 AM

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Why do you seek validation outside of your relationship? What's so disconcerting about the stranger's opinion of you when you know full well they know nothing of you?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 11:12:41 AM

Posts: 30
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

I have similar experiences too, i will talk to people and then they say that they want 'real' webcam verification that i am female, i am not happy to appear on cam to people i dont already know and so i get told i am a fake aswell, but at the end of the day it doesnt matter what the rest of the world thinks so long as the people who matter know who you are, and it is only worth worrying about the people that matter.

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 11:23:09 AM

Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

huh

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to phoenixxy)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 12:25:56 PM

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Why worry about it - let them say and think what they think. You cannot control it anywhere so ignore it

_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 12:27:56 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

You've the right to be here as anyone else even though you're collared as you've the privilege of seeking friends with similar interests. The only one that could object is the person who has collared you. Those intruding masters are just plain egoists, non respective of your dignity as a sub and the reverence of your collar. When you aren't with your "top", you should feel free to tell these intruders off.

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 2:51:02 PM

littlehumbledone

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalari

There have been four instances now, however, in which people accuse me of being "fake" after I inform them that I am collared.

~Rowan

First of all, your experience isn't unique, I think it's happened to all of us at some point in time, secondly, unless you're breaking TOS, then CM can be whatever you want it to be. Thirdly, the people who toss around the word fake are the ones who have the problem, not you.

I get called fake because I dont hand out my IM to just anyone, because I dont have a webcam, because I refuse to talk to people on the phone just to prove i'm female, because I refuse to show nude pictures of myself, for any number of reasons. Those sorts of people will always find something to use agaisnt you.. Block and delete..

_____________________________

...
I don't need anyone to blow out another woman's candle to make mine burn brighter.

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 6:16:16 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Kalari,

One thing you might consider is taking the pic off of your profile. You are young and attractive and are going to draw some unwanted attention, (even without the pic), it might reduce the amount of creeps. I think you can keep your pic on the forums and take the profile one down. I'm not suggesting you have to do this, and I can't say I would myself. But if it might help if it truly bothers you. I would just say "lol" and block personally. Unfortunately you find with the internet that anonymity makes idiots more idiotic.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to littlehumbledone)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 6:29:41 PM

Posts: 176
Status: offline

I think everyone who doesn't want to submit to me should leave this site. I think lots of things. Some of them are actually true.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Thank you - 11/10/2007 7:29:12 PM

Posts: 95
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

As long as YOU know who and what you are, where you are at etc....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Don't give your energy anyway to people who A) Don't deserve it and B) Just want to bring you down.

Don't let the bastards get you down kalari...they really aren't worth it.

Am made of plastic myself.....even come with my own matching acessories.
Take care.

_____________________________

The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." Anais Nin

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 8:12:01 PM

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/15/2007
From: Portland Oregon
Status: offline

Kalari,
I wouldn't sweat it...i just got a message from xxxxxxxxx calling me a "dude" and when i went to respond by asking if he wanted my Dom to contact him and explain that i am not a dude, he blocked me.....LOL Oh well some people's children <shaking head laughing>

[Mod Note: username removed]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 11/11/2007 2:11:27 PM >

_____________________________

Michaelsangel dutiful sub to SrMichael

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

(in reply to Kalari)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 8:22:20 PM

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Michaelsangel

...i just got a message from xxxxxxxx...

i recieved one from him as well and it was quite ugly. When i went to reply, i discovered i was blocked. i think he must send derogatory messages and then immediately block the person so they can't message back. i would bet he is a highschooler based on the comment i recieved...if not, someone in desperate need of therapy~

[Mod Note: username removed]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 11/11/2007 2:11:40 PM >

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Michaelsangel)

RE: "Fake" accusations - 11/10/2007 11:14:31 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I got one from a guy with a one line profile. I asked what it was he was seeking and what his relationship goals were. I got a scathing you're a dumbass, my goal is sex like everyone else on these sites, anyone that's been around would know this. I responded, good luck in your search, it seems we would have little in common. I guess I was so suprised at the reaction, my snark response failed me. Sometimes I feel most sane when reading my email.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to dawntreader)

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