RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for but...."

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 10:12:06 PM

dcnovice

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I was using "minor detail" sardonically.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 10:13:58 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

~fast reply~ You mean you actually get emails that try to make a case for why you should make an exception?
I don't even get that!
Just the assumption that a quick 2 liner, even though they live in bumfuk, egypt and are 22 years old, is enough to get Me on a private chat. ..."here is my "IM", pls add me"
I don't even have an IM program loaded onto My computer...how can I add them? Do I have to add that in additon to the fact that I clearly state I do not chat? No, never mind...that would entail actually reading and comprehending the profile.
Yeah, I guess that is just as bad as the one who said "I sent you a text message when I realized I couldn't meet you" He was on a plane to NYC while I was waiting at the coffee house. Not to mention I am pretty sure that he could have called the previous evening.
Oh gosh, I forgot to tell him I don't use text messaging...can't get a text message!
*Sigh*

That's just it. I don't usually get these emails that plainly admit that they paid close attention to what I said I want and make a (rather weak) case for why I should consider them anyhow. Normally, it's just a spammy-appearing form letter, poorly worded one or two liner clearly typed while holding one's nether bits. I was caught off guard by this new approach!

Well then! Maybe this is the wave of a new attitude? Perhaps I will get something more entertaining in My email box soon!

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They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 10:20:04 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tetherboy

MisPandora,

You didn't really get into the specifics of what actually took place, save for the married guy. It's my opinion that for many, hope springs eternal. Some times with age, someone is more mature than their age would suggest or perhaps younger than it would. Lots of things can cause someone to think that perhaps an exception can be made.

I disagree that the person is necessarily an idiot because of this. I would imagine that you can sort out who is being ridiculous and who is being genuine about the possibility of getting an exception.

My two pennies...

It wasn't necessary to go into the nitty gritty details and I'm sorry if you feel slighted that I didn't share.

The gist of it is that I clearly spell things out in my profile. This was a case of guys actually (for once) reading the profile, recognizing they did not meet the parameters spelled forth and who approached anyhow, trying to convince me that despite what things I think I need, they're sure they're the one for me.

To be frank, I think it's all ridiculous. If someone says they want X and I don't do X, I'm not going to write them and tell them I have interest in them but I don't do X. I'm also not going to write to the guy seeking a married woman when I'm single, seeking the black domina because I'm white, or seeking the sub fem because I'm dominant! It's all just utterly assinine in my mind that someone would deliberately do that.....but hey, I've been accused of being a logic-brained Taurus a time or two.

Men don't generally READ the content of profiles, but in this case, they actually did and made note of such. While it irks me that 'submissive' guys don't read and just send what they want because their kinks are far more important than ours....this style 'letter of interest' was outside of the norm and I sought advice from my peers. OK?

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Ms World Leather 2004
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"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 10:37:29 PM

Aceton

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Auzzie!!!!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 10:46:10 PM

sexyred1

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I don't mind when I get this type of email when the person is writing to say they know they don't match with me, but they wanted to comment on something I wrote in my profile, or on the forums or just give me a compliment. That is just nice.

But, I agree; when it is written to try and convince you to change your parameters, then it is annoying.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 11:35:24 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
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Aceton has it right... it's a combo of hope (that maybe you'll be willing to still consider them) and desperation (the fact they've been looking for a partner for so long... and they are having visions of dying lonely, of old age.)

Then there are the idiots...

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/10/2007 11:39:53 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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or the ones who swear they'll do anything you want serve you in any way have no limits just please let them serve you, however when you state your demands, a vanilla lunch at a public restarant no kink, they continue on with their I'll do anythings, EXCEPT what you asked them to do. As has been the experince of many here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

But, I agree; when it is written to try and convince you to change your parameters, then it is annoying.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 12:27:15 AM

Action

Posts: 260
Joined: 8/19/2005
From: Cali
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Dear god! Preach this louder, its all I've been getting since I changed my policy on my profile. I know alot of people here are against tributes, but mine are hugely ranged so it can be a 3 dollar bag of candy, or a pricey device at thier liesure. I went 2 years without this need but was so utterly bogged down in time wasters and bitter boys who where upset I wasn't out to please thier cock fantasy that I decided to try and weed out serious from fake. EVERY message now reads like yours, or even worse, "Can't wait to hear from you" or "Hope we can chat" or my favorite "Here are all my details, I'll prove it to you when I relocate to you how serious I am"

*gagdeath*

I honestly wouldn't mind so much but I actually line out 3 Primary things I specificly ask for in a message to me to make sure they've read the BOLD at the top of my profile that warns I'll never answer a message unless my conditions are met. NONE of these messages complete said rules for answering. No photo, usualy more then a few lines, and never ask for my tribute list. They always think I'll speak to them without all of this to prove they DONT NEED TO, is pompus to think I'll make an exception for every tom and joe that feel thier too good to follow my rules.

All that being said all I hear in these messages are: Im really not the one for you. I just like your ass.

-Lil Miss Action

< Message edited by Action -- 11/11/2007 12:32:46 AM >

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 4:41:04 AM

TNstepsout

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Delete, delete, delete. I used to feel kinda bad about just deleting, or heaven forbid blocking someone, but now when I look back, I can't imagine why I would. I put up some specific criteria, it's not overly complicated or picky, just things like "live in my area", "don't be married", "be within about 8 years of my age" etc... so unless there's a specific reason for contacting me (such as telling me how witty and clever I am-which of course I never delete) I just get rid of them.

I think there is a lot of desperation from the married men looking to explore their kinky needs. Most women state emphatically that they won't consider a married sub unless the spouse is fully aware of the situation. These guys can be pretty pushy in trying to get someone, anyone to induldge their fantasy.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 5:23:47 AM

unravel

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i would tend to agree with Aceton overall. There is likely a mix of disrespect for sure, and as SweetDommes stated the inability to follow the simplest of instructions in the first place, but also a bit of some writing out of desperation/loneliness.
But it does not take away the fact that year, on the Dominant side of things (and inbox), it sure must be very frustrating and i am not sure it actually deserves their time answering at all if really the mail is from left field and/or very disrespectful.
unravel

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 6:00:45 AM

DianeB269

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And I thought all this time I was the only one here getting these dumb ass messages...

Diane

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 6:55:23 AM

MsCameron

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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Nope, I get them all the time as well.

I changed my profile months ago to say that I was done with the on-line search and only here for the forums.

I still get many e-mails that "they" are different. "They" are the exception to the rule. One even said I would love him once I met him.. LOL.

Months ago I arranged to meet a submissive at a restaurant. He stood me up. Yes, just never showed up and ignored my e-mail the next day asking what happened to him.

The funny thing?

3 months later he e-mails me saying he'd like to meet me as we're somewhat in the same area.
He forgot who I was ...and I was quite happy to enlighten him.

Isn't on-line just grand :)

MC

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We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 7:40:13 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
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From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCameron
I still get many e-mails that "they" are different. "They" are the exception to the rule. One even said I would love him once I met him.. LOL.

The 'you'll love me' was the straw that broke the camel's back last night.

quote:

Months ago I arranged to meet a submissive at a restaurant. He stood me up. Yes, just never showed up and ignored my e-mail the next day asking what happened to him. The funny thing? 3 months later he e-mails me saying he'd like to meet me as we're somewhat in the same area. He forgot who I was ...and I was quite happy to enlighten him.

Last week, I received an email from a fellow in a similar situation, only this one bailed on the 'arranging the meeting' process without a word. His approach was as if he were a stranger, yet I knew things like his name, date of birth, where he worked, the age of his teen daughter, etc. Either he's got some sort of amnesia or he's just an imbecile; neither I have use for in my household.

This is the best place for me to make mention of the "user notes" section of someone's profile when you view it in full format. Gentlemen, when you write a woman and she corresponds back to you (or doesn't) -- make note of it there. If you stand her up, also make a note of it so you don't run willy nilly through that mine field like this chap did. Likewise, you ladies can keep your notes there about what this guy or gal tells you about themselves, keep 'progress notes' so to speak, and remind yourself of either how wonderful or how much of a dolt they were. This has saved me more times than I can shake a stick at!

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 9:57:19 AM

DianeB269

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I sometimes like to reply with this http://www.31337.pl/

Diane

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 10:02:18 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Well I am one disappointed little snowflake, I haven't gotten emails like that at all since I became active on this site again! On that site that begins with A...OHyeah! The CD who has CD in his screenname writes me, and when I ask him what part of "no crossdressers" was unclear, tells me, Oh, I don't have to do that all the time.

Okey DOKEY.

I remain boggled, I just do. I also delete a lot. And use those email parameters, so no more emails from BFE written in broken English.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/11/2007 4:28:27 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

here's your insight, men are idiots

It wasn't a female or a femdom that said this!

Is that really all it is?

how about this? why do guys use cheesy lines to pick up women? because if you cast your line enough, you're bound to eventually get a nibble

but about men being idiots? yes, but if you look in my inbox you will see that it is not a gender-specific trait... i have dominant women who show they've read my profile and then try to court me as if i weren't owned by another; on the other hand, i have submissive women who think they can convert me to dominance (how is going into a situation in order to change another a submissive act anyways?)

i'm sure that thiese situations occur to women far more often than men or that i may be somehow i'm especially remarkable (cough, cough, bullshit), but the willfully oblivious gene doesn't pass up more than half the population just because they're able to give birth (ever heard of a woman who's regularly beaten by her husband and continues to stay with him because "he loves me and he promised he'll change")

but yes; by and large, women have long made the mistake of trying to understand the male mind on female terms... men really are that simple, and no amount of wishing otherwise will change it

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if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
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Where the fuck do I post?

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/12/2007 1:38:40 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
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From: SoCal aka Hell
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Seeing as how Thanksgiving is right around the corner for some of us... I'd like to state that I'm especially thankful for the Delete option... as well as the Block option. Both have served me well in the past.

I've had all sorts of "exceptions to the rule" who oh so dearly wanted to be accepted. And, for the life of me, I just didn't get it. I thought someone had unleashed a tidal wave of humiliation enthusiasts. Because nothing else seemed rational. Then again, I suppose many of them simply aren't.

And I just *love* it when they get defensive if you so much as dare to politely brush them off. It's okay for them to tell *me* that my kink priorities are screwy. But if I tell *them* they're barking up the wrong tree it's like I've told them that I just got back from eating babies.

Mmmm babies... Ahem.

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Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
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"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/12/2007 1:58:50 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Folks are constantly complaining that they don't get responses to their emails here on CM. So here's a request -- what could possibly be said to these folks who write emails like this? Does it make any sense to even bother to respond?

Any email from outside Australia goes straight to the dust bin. No energy is spent replying. Just keep hitting delete and ignore the spam.

I get a funny variation - one in 10 emails are from men "who are about to move/return to Australia". I tell them to get in touch as soon as the plane lands. No-one has yet!

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/12/2007 2:27:44 AM

Action

Posts: 260
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From: Cali
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

Seeing as how Thanksgiving is right around the corner for some of us... I'd like to state that I'm especially thankful for the Delete option... as well as the Block option. Both have served me well in the past.

I've had all sorts of "exceptions to the rule" who oh so dearly wanted to be accepted. And, for the life of me, I just didn't get it. I thought someone had unleashed a tidal wave of humiliation enthusiasts. Because nothing else seemed rational. Then again, I suppose many of them simply aren't.

And I just *love* it when they get defensive if you so much as dare to politely brush them off. It's okay for them to tell *me* that my kink priorities are screwy. But if I tell *them* they're barking up the wrong tree it's like I've told them that I just got back from eating babies.

Mmmm babies... Ahem.

Ironicly I've found a good way to not have that happen. I am usualy quite bold and angry when I reply if ever to these sort. Not one has had the cajones to write back rudely. Mind you Im never so rude usualy, just goes to show you the cowardace that is behind alot of the mail sent, and try and get what they want by being pushy. They see a "polite" mistress as one they can try and walk all over. Don't give em the chance.

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RE: "I know I don't match what you're looking for ... - 11/12/2007 3:35:13 AM

jesiul

Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
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I am a submissive, my profile clearly states that. Yet I get about 5 emails a day from other submissive’s (mostly male but some female) who don’t live near me wanting to be my submissive or play partner…Their reply from me if any is …Duh? I am a submissive.

If that’s not bad enough I get a barrage of emails form married men who want a discreet relationship…Then there are the wonderful one line emails, “Nice photos. Love your ass! God your hot! (Misspelling you’re)…These are only less offensive than the, “Send me a pic.” Since I have several photos, I know they didn’t pay attention to my profile, or the other version “Great profile.” And they didn’t read it or look at it. (I can tell this since there is a “Who’s viewing me button”...sheesh.

However my most delightful email is the form letter with an IM address in it. “Hi I am so-in-so email me at…..”

These spam emails find the delete button, to me all of these kinds of emails are just junk mail cluttering up my in box. If you can’t read the least of my profile or won’t bother to write a few lines rather than send me a cut and paste letter… then why should I inconvenience myself to write a return…even if it is a rejection.

~jesi~

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