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scottjk -> RE: How would you rate your BDSM community? (11/14/2007 12:39:08 AM)
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(ponders this carefully)
Frankly, I'm disappointed with the Seattle area. In the past, about 10 years ago, there was a wide variety of groups. You could attend meetings, to each until you found one where you felt you could fit in. Of course, there was a great deal of main streaming happening as well. A lot of work was being done to help the rooks and the general thrill seekers keep themselves out of trouble legally, financially and medically. So many people were showing up, play spaces where getting crowded, and for some reason, a lot of groups were actually competing for member counts. You couldn't figure out who actually deserved the term 'guru' or not. Some places decided to shut down or go exclusive for self-preservation. I'm sure there are quite a few groups that have gone underground and switched to a 'invite' only mode.
However, some one had this 'brilliant' idea to consolidate the groups and play spaces. Many of the groups preferred to have their own identity, but, after the power struggle, politics and so on, The Wet Spot was born, also known as the Sex Positive Community Center. For awhile, it was BDSM centric in nature, but membership was too low to support itself, so it threw it's doors open to everyone in any community, becoming what it is now today. Honestly, I don't think it was a good idea. Swingers, BDSMers, Goreans, Transgenders, Crossdressers, Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, even Goth were invited. Even the strip club crowd showed (the men). Name your fetish, they showed. Different levels of membership was introduced and things got stratified along economic lines. Showing up at a social night (open to the general public) and just about every wanker looking for a hand job showed up. Of the few times I did show up, I got the strong impression that if you were not anything but a het male Dom, you didn't deserve the time of day, because obviously, you were only there to get laid. (chuckle) I'm serious, I never felt welcome other than the token meet and greet. If I was interested in a girl, she was often surrounded by (sub) Doms. Her bullshit meter was often turned up so high, you couldn't even introduce yourself without feeling like something some one scraped off their combat boots. The craziest thing I saw was the fact that everyone was shoving their 'thing' in your face. I got hit on more often by bi/gay/subs than I could count, some times by the same guy five times in one night. (Just couldn't accept the idea that I was het. Humiliating, really.)
I don't know. I don't consider myself socially adept, to be honest, but I was hoping I'd make some progress with attending events, but I was really put off with how un-social the socials were. I seriously considered attending other events as a volunteer, but I couldn't shake the feeling that unless I blew a few grand on the upper level memberships, I wasn't going to be considered 'acceptable'. I'm not cheap but, geeze, based on what I saw, I don't consider spending that kind of money a wise investment by any stretch. (I play the stock market with a few grand. So, you might understand.)
If you want a sex education in Seattle, then the Sex Positive Community Center is the place to go, as long as you understand what you're getting into. Beyond that? All I can say it's a social cesspool. They say they're open minded, but honestly, I feel there's a lot of sewage there. What I wanted is a BDSM community, where I could find and make friends, what I got was a lot of people that either wanted to fuck me, fuck them or use me for their needs. It was a real education for me. I couldn't understand why I couldn't catch a girl's interest online or offline, now I know. The amount of raw sewage they have to wade through is enough to pass on any attempt that a decent man like me might make.
Umm, did I say too much? [:(]
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