RE: Breaking a slave

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Breaking a slave

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Breaking a slave

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/19/2007 3:54:21 PM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

luna hopes it is ok if she posts on this question.

when luna first met Master she was very broken. shad been raped, abused, and spent years hiding within herself and a false sense of a dominant nature. we had been together for 2 years before luna begged a TPE collar (Nov 29th of this year) Master did not permit her to do this until recently because . . . and these are his own words: "When you came to me you were broken. you were incapable of being a TPE slave. In order to bend you to my will, first I had to help you heal yourself - other wise you would simply break over and over, like a toy improperly glued back together. I do not want broken toys, nor ones that I have to break and repair. I want one that bends to my will, yet is whole and happy."

He too, likes to use the word bend - that is what we do when we, vanilla or kink, submit to someone elses desires, or even when we compromise. We bend a little. luna has a meditation mantra that is a line from a poem she wrote once. the line goes "Make me like the grass, let me bend in the wind, and not break in two" luna is the grass, Master the wind. when he blows she sways and bends.

luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/20/2007 3:40:36 PM

erebus

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cindybee

Why are all the men here so violent?

Grrr!

Do you not read? Most men here are not violent. I'm certainly not. I'm just interested in this subject.

(in reply to cindybee)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/21/2007 9:31:48 PM

SilentTigresss

Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline

Even if they have a new term for this, why would you want someone with a broken spirit?

(in reply to HardnRuff)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/22/2007 9:48:06 AM

LoveAndDS

Posts: 39
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

Ok I would like to hear some opinions on breaking a slave or a sub . Do you think this is a good practice? Why or why Not ?
I was reading an article about this and it has raised Many questions for Me .
Breaking is a term often heard within the BDSM community. The interpretation of what breaking means varies. In this area it is most often aligned with the 'breaking' of a horse or animal. Based on this interpretation the 'spirit' of the individual is being 'broken'. Some people like to consider it that point where the 'will' gives way to a superior force. The actual breaking of an individual's spirit is the last thing that a competent, healthy Dominant or submissive wishes to occur. The breaking of a 'spirit' removes the positive mental health of the individual. This would be similar to involuntary imprisonment such as during a war in a POW camp. It represents a desire to 'break down' the fundamental building blocks of the individuals psyche until they can no longer defend themselves from external invasion. The vanquishment of hope, self-respect and motivation to continue

When a sub/slave is geniune in their desires to serve, than breaking them is not necessary. The idea of "breaking" is probably more in reference to "game players" and fakes, rather than real subs/slaves, because the real subs/slaves serve out of their own hearts

(in reply to HardnRuff)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/22/2007 10:20:06 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Nonsense!

The desire to serve can easily be there but it is useless without competent domination. Meaning someone who does not ask the impossible, or demand perfection. Someone who is consistent, meaning requires the same action each time, does not sometimes praise for the action, yet the next time punishes, or the time after denigrates it. Someone who understands how people learn and that giving an order does not automatically cause a new habit to be formed, and that giving the order is not the same as breaking what is required down into small steps that a person can follow.

Incompetent dominants like this, who want the end product but are incapable of creating such a relationship are likely to become angry and abusive, breaking the person's spirit and having them operate out of fear.

Competent dominants when confronted with a person who is not compatible, do not break them, they release them to find someone more compatible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LoveAndDS)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/22/2007 10:42:22 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Actually, these are the horses that I find need to learn that you are trustworthy. And this is when a round pen comes in handy. I'm too old and tired to fight with a horse. I just stand there next to the round pen while the wild eyed animal runs itself ragged, talking to it all the time until it sees that I am always calm and it takes the first step toward me willingly.

Takes longer but builds a better bond. And for show horses, we need them to have their spirit, just channeled into a drive that competes in the show ring, not competes against its rider.

I like this with people too, cooperative not competitive.

I really like this post. It reminds me of my own personal experience with my Master. I was already broken when he found me, thanks to other people with bad ideas. He took the time necessary for me to learn to trust him - however long I needed, and he channeled my spirit and my energy into building me back up according to my own unique individuality. In my case he pushed hard at times, but I needed and wanted that. But break me? No way.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/22/2007 11:01:44 AM

Leonardo

Posts: 113
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline

Heyas H&R.... just popped into your post to say hey and Happy Holidays, since I hadn't seen ya in a while.

(in reply to HardnRuff)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/23/2007 9:19:23 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Using fast reply:

First of all, please let us not get into a discussion of what "breaking" means. Bending is not breaking. Breaking is an act of violence to subvert one will to another's, no matter the species. Breaking is to rule through intimidation, where you are obeyed not out of love or loyalty, but fear. No healthy relationship can come from this.

Which is not to say that "play breaking" is evil. There are subs who love the intensity of being broken, but they know it is being done in a safe, sane environment. Similar to someone who has fantasies of being raped. It is the fantasy they enjoy, they do not want to experience a real rape.

p.s. Words of wisdom as usual, LadyHugs, but quoting Dr, Phil?!?!?!? For shame!

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to Leonardo)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/23/2007 9:49:34 AM

Kaiynasha

Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

My thoughts have changed a lot on this topic. I use to say "hell yes break the slave but not the spirit." I have seen it backfire. I have watched submissives crumble and become broken arrows. I have seen some even try to fight back because of the anxiety.

In attempting to break a slave into a new behavior you tend to mentally break their spirit as well. Sometimes, making one reflective on themselves is important but my hope is to do no harm. Therefore, I think there is a thin line between modifying someones behavior and modifying the inner person. There are so many ways to provoke a slave/sub to think or behave as you wish without resorting to harm.
And remember harm can come in many forms (mental/emotional/spiritual/phys). A wild horse who is beaten into submission will submit in fear not in trust or love. Beating (breaking) a slave/sub into submission would probably do the same.

I think you have to be very careful with this terminology and its usage on someone whom you wish to serve you.

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

(in reply to SirDominic)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/23/2007 11:36:51 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I take a middle ground between Ladyhugs and ctrlaltdelete. In the most basic terms, they're talking about the same thing. Some submissives or dogs (and I assume horses too, but I am completely ignorant of the equisterian world) require different levels of training, based on the willingness to serve.

Take My Pet, for example. She requires very little "breaking" to have the effect of obedience occur. I've heard stories of people going through hell to pull out a woman's submissive nature. I'm sure some horses slide easier into being ridden as opposed to that black 2 year old filly.

Objectively, both mindsets follow the principles of conditioning, specifically operant conditioning.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

Punishing and reinforcing, and explaining SOUND logic for such actions is my key to a happy, obedient slave.

My principles may not be right. There are some that are into the BDSM world because they want a more hardcore form of power and submission. Some people want to be, by MY standards, abused. If they want it, it's no longer abuse. If I were to throw out my principles, I see no problem breaking a slave into a spiritless robot, a TRUE posession, an object 24/7... The grandest and purest example of power exchange.

(Don't worry, My Pet, you're much too cute when you're tired or cum drunk for me to do that to you.)

osocurious: In any relationship, particularly early on, all good dominants are concerned with a way to keep discipline. That's vague by design. Some want to "break it down and build it up" some want to "mold their mishapen chunk of clay" some want to "Teach her how to stop fucking complaining that in THIS house the toilet seat stays up." Whatever the will of the dominant, he or she will work on an aspect of control.

In short, "breaking" a slave is just as vague as "slave" itself. Talk to your dominant (or your submissive if you want her opinion) if you are concerned that the disciplines are skirting the line of breaking the spirit.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/23/2007 3:55:54 PM

TinkACD

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/12/2007
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline

I am Tinks Master and so violently disagree with this that I want to "break" somthing...but NOT and Never my submissive / slave....you discuss a human in the same context as a horse or a dog!!!!! ....... have you lost your &*%^^$^$^ minds!!!!! .........the object is to NURTURE AND EXPAND the limits of the person under your control not to BREAK them, if their broken what do you have left ...a shell of what was once someone who has entrusted their very self to you.....Rover hit it on the head.... my slave does not have to be broken she comes to me willingly and with love and desire to please in her eyes and her actions......to quote Rover "try building somthing, now there's a challenge"....break them indeed !!! any FOOL can flog (or whatever) a sub into a slobbering wreck and kill the very spirt that binds you , and where does that leave you both.... I supose if all you want is a carpet matt go for it....

on a lighter note how the bloody hell do I change this picture and that offensive vanilla cone that pops up when a post is left....now that Id happily BREAK !!

< Message edited by TinkACD -- 12/23/2007 4:39:13 PM >

(in reply to Rover)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/23/2007 4:55:53 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

My Master likens this to breaking in a horse...One would break in the horse, but NOT break the horses spirit.

That is the right idea. I train horses. I have all my life. I don't want to break their spirit. I want to "convince" them to trust me and let me lead. I'll pay attention to the signals they send but I make the final decisions. I do think its a good analogy to a sub. Sometimes, when they are feeling frisky, I enjoy a good, spirited ride when they act up a little. I also enjoy a nice quiet, well performed ride. (You can decide if I'm talking about horses or .... )
This doesn't mean that sometimes you just have to climb aboard and ride em out. I've done that more times than I can count.

< Message edited by MidMichCowboy -- 12/23/2007 5:01:44 PM >

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Breaking a slave - 12/25/2007 12:57:31 PM

ligar59

Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

Each to their own, but I personally perfer instruct and mold her into the best possible person she can be. Being that the Dom and sub are together, there must have been qualities that the Dom found appealing

(in reply to HardnRuff)

Profile

Post #: 53