RE: Worst Bar Joke in History......

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/21/2007 8:04:45 PM

LivingInSin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

A guy walks into a bar with a small alligator. He pronounces that "I will put dick in his mouth for $100."

Everybody chips in and he puts the gator on the table. Taps gator on the head and he opens his mouth. Just as he puts his dick in, the gator clamps down on it.

The guy calmly takes a beer bottle and busts it over the gator's head. The gator opens his mouth and the guy puts it back in his pants. He then asks, "Would anyone else like to try that?"

A submissive in the back says, "I'll try it if you promise not to hit me over the head with a bottle."

roflmao!!

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 12:40:47 AM

RubberWitch

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ok, just for Saratov"
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2320759

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 3:46:57 AM

Crush

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For Saratov, and with the intent of the thread:

What do you order when you have 100 lawyers in a bar? And Irish Car Bomb.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 12:39:29 PM

HypnoticDan

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Two pink elephants and a blue snake with wings enter a bar. Bartender takes one look and goes back to cleaning tables. "Sorry boys, he's not here yet."

Guy enters his regular bar and asks who the drunk woman at the end is. "Oh, her," says the barman. "She's been betting men to buy her drinks all night and she hasn't lost yet." Feeling macho, the man decides to find out about the bet. "It's a pissing contest," says the woman. "We go into the alley out back and whoever pisses highest on the wall wins." He gladly accepts the challenge. She staggers out there and eventually they're both in position. Just as he's about to start she says "ah ah ah! No hands!"

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 8:23:41 PM

Muttling

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Why do lawyers wear neck ties?

I prevents the foreskin from covering their face.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 9:42:37 PM

carlie310

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I thought that was why Steve Spurrier wore a visor?

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 9:49:37 PM

carlie310

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(quick reply)

It was near closing time, and the top-story hotel bar was mostly empty, save for two drunk men at the end of the bar.

"S'true," said one. "These tall buildings are so close together that the upjaff. . .updaff. . .I mean, the wind blowing up thing. . . will support anything you put out a window. It'll support me."

The second shakes his head, not falling for it.

"Lemme show ya." The first drunk sways over to the window, opens it. "I jump out, but I'll be right back. You watch." And sure enough, a few moments after he steps out the window. . .he reappears and steps back in.

"I'll be damned," says the second. "I gotta try that!" And he stumbles over to the window, manages to fit his body through. . .and plummets to his death in the street below.

The bartender paused to shake his head at the first man before stepping to the phone to alert the officials.

"Superman," he says reproachfully, "you sure are a mean drunk."

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/22/2007 10:23:50 PM

Muttling

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Lawyer walked into a bar and challenges the bar tender to a test of trivia. He tells the bar tender, we'll take turns asking questions. If you can't anwer mine, you'll pay me $5 and if I can't answer yours, I'll pay you $500 dollars.

The lawyer goes first and asks, "What is the distance from the earth to the sun?" Bar tender shrugs and hands him $5.

The bartender asks, "What goes up hill with 3 legs then comes back down with 4 legs?" The ponders a while and finally gives the bartender $500.

As the bartender turns to another customer, the lawyer asks "So what is the answer?" The bar tender shrugs and hands him $5.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/23/2007 1:28:52 AM

dreamysubmale

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A man walks into a bar stuttering as he orders a drink…*pppllllease bbbbarman,mmmmay i hhave aaa Jim bbbeammm onnn thethethe rocks*

*Sssssure you mmmmay hhavvve a Jjjim Bbbbbeam* the barman replies*.

A minute later another man walks in and orders a drink

*Excuse me barman* he says, *may i have a Jim Beam on the rocks*
*Sure you may* the barman replies…*that will be 5 dollars thank you*

At that point the first man says to the barman

*Esssssxcuse mmmmme bbbarrman, where yyyyou mmmmmakkking ffffunnnn of mmmme bbbbefore?*

The barman says *Nnnnnno, abbbssssolutelllly nnnnot...iiiiii was mmmmmaking ffffffun of him*

Enjoy.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/23/2007 3:26:43 PM

DMFParadox

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Objection! is the coolest.... geek toy.... EVER. in the last week. Rubberwitch, I have PM'd you regarding that damned F!@#$%ing puzzle on the site.

Moving on...

A ninja walks into a bar... and nobody notices.
A man walks into a bar and bets the bartender $500 that he's got an amazing talent when he's elevated about 6 feet. He's so skillful at aiming his dick that he can piss in a cup from 10 feet away as long as he's standing on the counter. The bartender says, "No way! I'll take you up on that!" The man gets up on the counter and pisses on the bar... on the bartender... on the barstools... on the glasses... on the floor... everywhere but the cup. The bartender gets a big grin on his face, laughs heartily and goes, "Hah! I knew you couldn't do it! Pony up, you drunk idiot!" And the man pays him $500. Then he goes over to the back of the bar, where a group of 5 guys all pay him $200 each. He gets ready to leave, and the bartender calls out, "What was that all about?" And the man replies, "I bet all of them that I could piss on you and the bar and not only would you not get mad, you'd laugh about it!"

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/23/2007 6:25:50 PM

Nyckname

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A bald nun, a gay lawyer and a ravenous bug blatter beast walk into a bar. Bartender says to himself, "Man, this is the weirdest joke I've ever been in."

cheers

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/23/2007 9:00:20 PM

Owner59

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quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310

I can't resist a bad joke thread.

A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately tells him that they don't serve drinks to mushrooms.

The mushroom looks offended and asks. . ."Why not? I'm a fun guy!"

Yuck-yuck.A good(bad)one.

A guy walks into a bar w/ a parrot on his shoulder.He steps up to the bar and the parrot says,"hey!help me get this guy off my feet!".

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/23/2007 9:06:24 PM

Muttling

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A straight guy walks into a lesbian bar and gets gang raped......

Oh wait, that's not a joke....it's one of my fantasies.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/24/2007 7:42:28 PM

Blyght

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. As he leaps onto the bar top, the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says, "You gotta drink named Irving?"

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 11/30/2007 5:26:04 PM

ta2dqt

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I LOVE JOKES!!!!!

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/2/2007 10:29:54 AM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

Why do lawyers wear neck ties?

I prevents the foreskin from covering their face.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/9/2007 10:37:35 AM

ShreveportMaster

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A sandwich walks into a bar...Bartender says "Hey, we don't serve food here!"

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 12:27:41 PM

MistressPav

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey! Why the long face?"

har har

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:09:49 PM

Muttling

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says ."Hey, why the long face?"

Jeff

Reposts are lame, but reposts in a 2 page thread is beyond lame.

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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:19:33 PM

MistressPav

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Two lawyers walk into a bar and sit down. While they wait for their drinks, one spots a sexy blonde and says to his partner, "Man I'd do her."
His friend says, "Outta what?"

< Message edited by MistressPav -- 12/11/2007 3:23:27 PM >

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