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RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:22:02 PM   
MistressPav


Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says ."Hey, why the long face?"


Jeff







Reposts are lame, but reposts in a 2 page thread is beyond lame.




I swear to gods, I didn't see that other post b4 I posted mine.  I swear. 


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(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:25:57 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I love it when a Mistress pleads before me.  

(in reply to MistressPav)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:31:29 PM   
MistressPav


Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		****continutes to plead to Muttling***

great thread, by the way...
I've been laughing my ass off all morning....so much that I haven't bothered to go downstairs and do laundry.  =P



_____________________________

Proud Owner of Zubi
(my boy "ToyZ")
Claimed & Collared 9magick#2008

"An it harm none, unless they deserve it, do what ye will." --Scorpio Creed

A- Rh-




(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 3:35:04 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline


A Panda Bear walks into a cafe and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!'The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!'At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary. He reads:'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.'  *INSERT RIM SHOT HERE*  no pun intended

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 12/11/2007 9:21:40 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		For those who have missed it.....



There is another thread that I am quite proud of.    The humor is wonderful and well worth reading.  I adore all who have contributed to "You Know You're a Smart Assed Masochist When".....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1442830/tm.htm

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/10/2008 9:39:25 AM   
Svalbard


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		How about dog jokes ?

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/10/2008 4:46:19 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		A Jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.  The bartender asks "Wow!  Where did you get that?"

The parrot answers "Brooklyn.  They're all over the place."


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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Svalbard)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/10/2008 4:50:23 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Wow..why am i not getting any of these jokes..even from a guy i have corresponded with on and off...weird!

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/10/2008 6:44:52 PM   
patwi


Posts: 296
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline 		Dammit! Someone took my sandwich joke. *sulk*

(in reply to MistressPav)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/10/2008 7:35:20 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		BTW - OP, the original joke should have been stated as:

Two men walk into a bar.  The third one ducks.

Leave it there.  It's funnier because it frequently takes people a long time to figure it out.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to patwi)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/12/2008 1:52:46 PM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		What’s the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?

You’ll find skid marks in front of the dead dog.



Why did New Jersey end up with the most toxic waste dumps in the nation while California ended up with the most lawyers?

New Jersey won the coin toss.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/12/2008 5:08:34 PM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		Man walks into a bar with a tiger on a leash.  "Do you serve lawyers in here?"
"Sir, we don't discriminate.  We'll serve anybody."
"Great!  I'll have a beer and the tiger will have two lawyers, please."

A  ninja walked into a bar .... and nobody noticed.

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/12/2008 9:50:16 PM   
HandSolo


Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline 		Two partners in a law firm were camping at Yosemite. Late at night, they hear a noise outside their tent. One looks through the flap, and withdraws in horror. Ashen-faced, he whispers to his life-long friend: "there is an enormous bear out there, emptying out our cooler! The noises continue, and soon, the distinctive notes of a massive mammal following a sent trail move inexorably closer to the tent. Finally, as a huge shadow falls accross the tent, the first lawyer notices the second quietly tieing on his sneakers. The first hisses "don't bother with that, you fool, you can't out-run a bear!" The second, finished tieing, gets up, and smiles, saying, "I don't have to out-run the bear, I have to out-run you!"

< Message edited by HandSolo -- 5/12/2008 9:51:15 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Worst Bar Joke in History...... - 5/12/2008 10:01:50 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Dog and drunk jokes?

Two drunks are walking out of the bar, and they spot a dog sitting on the sidewalk, licking its genitals.

The first drunk says "MAN, I wish I could do that!"

Second drunk says  "Oh, gross...couldn't you just pet him or something?"

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to HandSolo)
Profile   Post #: 54
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