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RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 11:33:59 AM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
Thank you MsC, I never understood why Dominant's that use a strap-on don't consider THAT sex!

I think some live in some sort of parallel universe.

Using a strap on and putting it in someone else's bottom is SEX folks.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 11:39:38 AM   
MissKitt


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline
wow this is quite a thread.

< Message edited by MissKitt -- 12/2/2007 11:40:33 AM >

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 11:44:36 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81
Lets think about how much interest women generally express towards mens needs and wants? (It's like hearing crickets.)


Are you kidding?  All of the women I talk to who are in relationships love doing things for their men that make them happy.  The men I know feel the same way - they love doing things for their lady that make her happy and that makes them feel like a hero for being able to do it for her.  Healthy, functional, long term human relationships work that way.  I've noticed this to be true no matter which one of them is dominant and which is submissive.  I'm dominant, and I spend a nontrivial fraction of my time and energy thinking about things to do to make my submissive male partner happy.  Mostly small things, but it occupies a more or less permanent corner of my brain even when I'm out and about doing things. 

quote:

Yet a man wanting some thing as simple as an orgasm seems to be selfish behavior but to compare this to what women demand out of men seems to be out of the question.


You don't get it.  If my beloved intimate partner wants an orgasm, there's nothing more fun than making that happen.  If someone who does not yet have that close emotional relationship to me wants one....um....well....no.  I don't feel comfortable with that degree of intimacy with that person, not until he's succeeded in establishing that degree of closeness and making me feel secure about his degree of caring for me.  A man may percieve this comfort zone as the woman demanding that he jump through hoops before she will give him an orgasm.  A woman may perceive it as making sure that she does not open herself to being emotionally and sexually vulnerable to a man who does not care for her and who will use her selfishly for his own sex needs and discard her, leaving her feeling used and hurt. 

Basically he has to prove he cares and that he can be trusted with her vulnerability - and since most men are not skilled at communicating this verbally in a way that is really convincing to a woman, the fallback position is to spend money.  It's nice to get presents and that can be a convincing testament of a man's interest and committment.  But personally, I'd prefer he was able to demonstrate genuine caring, liking and respect with total honesty and open sharing of his feelings instead of by spending a lot of money.  A very small and inexpensive but meaningful/sentimental gift, or a gift that costs nothing but a man's time that is truly given from the heart is worth more than gold.  It just has to be sincere rather than manipulative, eg, "If I give her this thing maybe I'll get my rocks off."

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 11:45:20 AM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

Thank you MsC, I never understood why Dominant's that use a strap-on don't consider THAT sex!

I think some live in some sort of parallel universe.

Using a strap on and putting it in someone else's bottom is SEX folks.


perhaps because it is the ultimate in safe sex?

but seriously, true, it is sex, but sex could mean many different things to many different people.

(in reply to MistressDoMe)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 11:49:00 AM   
Dragynsfury


Posts: 79
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
this thread still liveth?  I wonder...did the OP get the answer he sought 12 flaming pages later?

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(in reply to solvr70)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 12:16:25 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
When I say "I don't have sex with my submissives" what I truly mean is that they are not having any sexual contact with ME.  I love getting to do whatever I want to THEM, that is big time entertainment! 

I am one of those that only has intercourse with vanillas and other tops.   I have yet to meet the sub male who has what it takes to really get me going sexually.  Could happen, just hasn't in the last 15 years or so.  Also, I do not feel comfortable allowing a submissive to give me an orgasm.   This does not mean that I don't enjoy giving male submissives orgasms, or watching while they do it themselves, or fucking them with strapons if that is what amuses us.  To me, it feels intrinsically wrong to cross that line with a sub and let them do anything to me.  I am very up front about that, because I don't want to lead anyone on or give them some hope that I will change my mind.  (Or whatever body part makes that decision.)

I don't know any women in my age group that have a sense of entitlement, especially sexually.  We have our issues with guys, but we are not male bashers, nor are we expecting someone to come ambling in with a big old amex card to make our problems vanish.  It would be nice if it happened, mind you!  I mean, if some sub male with a big trust fund who can fuck like a porn star came knocking at my door, I would certainly offer him a cup of coffee!  Maybe even cake, if he was a decent guy. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Dragynsfury)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 12:34:22 PM   
Boondoggle


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

There is far too much to read and reply to, I don't have the time and patience.

What a man wants (even if its his natural instinct), is WRONG, he is forbidden to ask for it and seen as a selfish person all because he expresses what he wants as a man. But a man must apply to what women want or else he is a fool. A woman is not a fool if she refuses to apply to what men want. This doesn't only apply to the BDSM scene but this applies also to the vanilla scene.

I am not saying that women should drop everything and spread their legs but if women think men are entitled to nothing, why do women always think they have entitlements? Entitlement mentality seems to be something women are only allowed to have.

I find it hard to believe that most women out there actually care about what men want, BUT men are the same. The problem is that its socially acceptable for a woman to not give a flying fuck to what men want but a man is always put down when he thinks the same about women.

Think about what I said a few times.


[Crazy liberal rant]

What world do you (think) you live in? In the world in which I, and presumably most others, live, women have been oppressed at the hands of men for thousands of years and continue to be despite vast improvements in their 'granted' status. I'd like to experience this magical fantasy world where women run everything; I think it might be in better shape than this one. You see, in this world, men have been in power for ages and do everything they can to make sure they are the ones who stay in power. Interestingly, men have long understood that women held the power in sex, and so have spent many years demonizing it. This is why prostitution is illegal. This is why the Church condemns any sex that isn't using a woman's body strictly for procreation. This fear of sexual power is what has lead to both female and male ritual genital mutilation (circumcision). It's also the reason for the glaring societal double-standard for promiscuity (promiscuous women are sluts, promiscuous men are 'conquerers'). When men with power over women abuse this power and take advantage of women sexually, their ultimate motivation, whether they recognize it, much less admit it, or not, is to take that sexual power from women because they fear it.

Then there's rape and abuse. I'm not saying women never perpetuate these crimes, because they do, but I think it's fairly safe to say that in the vast, overwhelming majority of cases, the men are the aggressors. Somehow, I doubt the victims felt any sense of entitlement. Whereas the perpetrators are clearly asserting (or attempting to, however temporarily) their power over the victim. When one person engages in this sort of non-consensual power exchange over another, if there is one party with the sense of entitlement, it's the rapist or abuser.

If anyone needs to think about what you said and evaluate underlying prejudices, it's you.

[/Crazy liberal rant]

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 1:30:39 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

There is far too much to read and reply to, I don't have the time and patience.

What a man wants (even if its his natural instinct), is WRONG, he is forbidden to ask for it and seen as a selfish person all because he expresses what he wants as a man. But a man must apply to what women want or else he is a fool. A woman is not a fool if she refuses to apply to what men want. This doesn't only apply to the BDSM scene but this applies also to the vanilla scene.

I am not saying that women should drop everything and spread their legs but if women think men are entitled to nothing, why do women always think they have entitlements? Entitlement mentality seems to be something women are only allowed to have.

I find it hard to believe that most women out there actually care about what men want, BUT men are the same. The problem is that its socially acceptable for a woman to not give a flying fuck to what men want but a man is always put down when he thinks the same about women.

Think about what I said a few times.


[Crazy liberal rant]

What world do you (think) you live in? In the world in which I, and presumably most others, live, women have been oppressed at the hands of men for thousands of years and continue to be despite vast improvements in their 'granted' status. I'd like to experience this magical fantasy world where women run everything; I think it might be in better shape than this one. You see, in this world, men have been in power for ages and do everything they can to make sure they are the ones who stay in power. Interestingly, men have long understood that women held the power in sex, and so have spent many years demonizing it. This is why prostitution is illegal. This is why the Church condemns any sex that isn't using a woman's body strictly for procreation. This fear of sexual power is what has lead to both female and male ritual genital mutilation (circumcision). It's also the reason for the glaring societal double-standard for promiscuity (promiscuous women are sluts, promiscuous men are 'conquerers'). When men with power over women abuse this power and take advantage of women sexually, their ultimate motivation, whether they recognize it, much less admit it, or not, is to take that sexual power from women because they fear it.

Then there's rape and abuse. I'm not saying women never perpetuate these crimes, because they do, but I think it's fairly safe to say that in the vast, overwhelming majority of cases, the men are the aggressors. Somehow, I doubt the victims felt any sense of entitlement. Whereas the perpetrators are clearly asserting (or attempting to, however temporarily) their power over the victim. When one person engages in this sort of non-consensual power exchange over another, if there is one party with the sense of entitlement, it's the rapist or abuser.

If anyone needs to think about what you said and evaluate underlying prejudices, it's you.

[/Crazy liberal rant]


Fantastic profile and post.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to Boondoggle)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 2:01:12 PM   
Smith117


Posts: 1447
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

There is far too much to read and reply to, I don't have the time and patience.

What a man wants (even if its his natural instinct), is WRONG, he is forbidden to ask for it and seen as a selfish person all because he expresses what he wants as a man. But a man must apply to what women want or else he is a fool. A woman is not a fool if she refuses to apply to what men want. This doesn't only apply to the BDSM scene but this applies also to the vanilla scene.

I am not saying that women should drop everything and spread their legs but if women think men are entitled to nothing, why do women always think they have entitlements? Entitlement mentality seems to be something women are only allowed to have.

I find it hard to believe that most women out there actually care about what men want, BUT men are the same. The problem is that its socially acceptable for a woman to not give a flying fuck to what men want but a man is always put down when he thinks the same about women.

Think about what I said a few times.


[Crazy liberal rant]

What world do you (think) you live in? In the world in which I, and presumably most others, live, women have been oppressed at the hands of men for thousands of years and continue to be despite vast improvements in their 'granted' status. I'd like to experience this magical fantasy world where women run everything; I think it might be in better shape than this one. You see, in this world, men have been in power for ages and do everything they can to make sure they are the ones who stay in power. Interestingly, men have long understood that women held the power in sex, and so have spent many years demonizing it. This is why prostitution is illegal. This is why the Church condemns any sex that isn't using a woman's body strictly for procreation. This fear of sexual power is what has lead to both female and male ritual genital mutilation (circumcision). It's also the reason for the glaring societal double-standard for promiscuity (promiscuous women are sluts, promiscuous men are 'conquerers'). When men with power over women abuse this power and take advantage of women sexually, their ultimate motivation, whether they recognize it, much less admit it, or not, is to take that sexual power from women because they fear it.

Then there's rape and abuse. I'm not saying women never perpetuate these crimes, because they do, but I think it's fairly safe to say that in the vast, overwhelming majority of cases, the men are the aggressors. Somehow, I doubt the victims felt any sense of entitlement. Whereas the perpetrators are clearly asserting (or attempting to, however temporarily) their power over the victim. When one person engages in this sort of non-consensual power exchange over another, if there is one party with the sense of entitlement, it's the rapist or abuser.

If anyone needs to think about what you said and evaluate underlying prejudices, it's you.

[/Crazy liberal rant]


I think the one point I'd disagree with on this post is the conquerer title for promiscuous men. That may have one day been the case, but lately it seems that a guy who's promiscuous usually is called a player or a dog. And women, even his own friends, if they're mature enough, don't even consider him worthy of an actual relationship. Why do you think one guy would get pissed that his friend was dating his sister? Because guys know how guys are. 

(in reply to Boondoggle)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 2:09:33 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
Player or dog doesn't have NEAR the negative connotations that slut does, IMO.

(in reply to Smith117)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 2:36:23 PM   
Smith117


Posts: 1447
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

Player or dog doesn't have NEAR the negative connotations that slut does, IMO.


Perhaps not for you, but try starting or wanting to start a real relationship when you have that tag. It doesn't happen. Considering the lfiestyle we're in, slut almost holds a badge of honor now. There's even a game named for it.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 5:56:24 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smith117

I think the one point I'd disagree with on this post is the conquerer title for promiscuous men. That may have one day been the case, but lately it seems that a guy who's promiscuous usually is called a player or a dog. And women, even his own friends, if they're mature enough, don't even consider him worthy of an actual relationship. Why do you think one guy would get pissed that his friend was dating his sister? Because guys know how guys are.


And I think your last two sentences here say so very much about the behaviors and attitudes you see.

Men believe that men are only interested in sex. Men believe that other men are incapable of wanting much more than sex.

I believe that this idea -- men are only interested in sex -- does a great deal of harm to society and I believe much of that belief is perpetuated by men.

If men believe this about men, why does it surprise anyone that their daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers also believe it?

My mother never told me that boys only wanted sex but my father flat out told me that boy were only interested in one thing from a girl: to get between her legs.

Guess what? My father was full of crap on that issue. Any man who promotes that idea about other men (and/or himself) is doing the entire world a grave disservice.

Men are more than their sex organs.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Smith117)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 8:11:49 PM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

I hope you're not talking about me. You do not know anything about me...
I DO NOT make any of my subs pay or buy anything for me.They offer and I say no.
The only things I will make a sub pay for is the toys (strapons) I will using on them.

Diane


that seems really reasonable.

but wait...that means a sub bought BAM for You! OMG! a scarey thing that is!


(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/2/2007 10:53:24 PM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogboydoggie

I BOW AT YOUR FEET .  I BOW AT YOUR FEET. I BOW AT YOUR FEET



mine too. bow at mine too

_____________________________

I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

(in reply to dogboydoggie)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 1:02:22 AM   
MadameCris


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline
to each their own, i for one wish to engage in coitus with my submissives, but on my terms and when it pleases me. otherwise, i perfer to keep them in chastity with a limit on their releases so as to peek their interest in me. I find chastity to be a great tool but i personally, wouldnt want pets i had no interest in sexually. whats the point??? 

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 1:04:06 AM   
MadameCris


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

Thank you MsC, I never understood why Dominant's that use a strap-on don't consider THAT sex!

I think some live in some sort of parallel universe.

Using a strap on and putting it in someone else's bottom is SEX folks.




Especially if the strap on is designed to transfer feelings to the wearer and she is able to climax while fucking an ass, by golly that looks and sounds like sex to me too.

< Message edited by MadameCris -- 12/3/2007 1:06:05 AM >

(in reply to MistressDoMe)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 1:38:21 AM   
bottomboy81


Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Are you kidding?  All of the women I talk to who are in relationships love doing things for their men that make them happy.


Many women IN relationships (especially in the vanilla world) are willing to do things for their men but when it comes to this scene or this site, many women don’t appear that way. There are more women who don’t think this way than there is who do in this scene. Look at the others in this thread who say it them selves.

quote:

not until he's succeeded in establishing that degree of closeness and making me feel secure about his degree of caring for me.  A man may percieve this comfort zone as the woman demanding that he jump through hoops before she will give him an orgasm.  A woman may perceive it as making sure that she does not open herself to being emotionally and sexually vulnerable to a man who does not care for her and who will use her selfishly for his own sex needs and discard her, leaving her feeling used and hurt


This goes back to my old complaint. It’s perfectly 100 percent acceptable for a woman to perceive men as guilty until proven innocent. Just because he is a male and likes sex, he needs to prove himself that he is not going to take advantage of the woman. This is sexism within it’s self. It’s just like not trusting a black person because you think there is a high chance that a black person is a criminal and that certain black person has to prove them self innocent to be trusted. If you call this racism, why isn’t it sexism to not trust a man until proven otherwise?

Not only some women think this way, I think most do and yet, a man being bitter for being rejected (which is a lower level of bitterness and a more validated reason to be bitter) is totally forbidden from women.

quote:

It's nice to get presents and that can be a convincing testament of a man's interest and commitment


Yes, but the problem is that women always seem to think that the man owes her some thing if she is going to give him sex when sex is an equal employer. The woman enjoys sex just as much as the man. If a woman thinks she holds superiority over men with sex and thinks in the ways that a man has to owe her things like chivalry, she is a chauvinist.

Boondoggle

quote:

What world do you (think) you live in?


I should be asking you this question, what world do you live in? It’s not 1950 anymore, its year 2007.

quote:

and continue to be despite vast improvements in their 'granted' status.


Such as?

quote:

I'd like to experience this magical fantasy world where women run everything


I am not living in a magical fantasy where I think women run everything, because they don’t. But they dominate the dating and sex game.

quote:

You see, in this world, men have been in power for ages and do everything they can to make sure they are the ones who stay in power


Such as?

quote:

men have long understood that women held the power in sex, and so have spent many years demonizing it. This is why prostitution is illegal. This is why the Church condemns any sex that isn't using a woman's body strictly for procreation


Men didn’t do this, religion did. Who is free in religion anyway? No one.

quote:

It's also the reason for the glaring societal double-standard for promiscuity (promiscuous women are sluts, promiscuous men are'conquerers').


Men are only seen as hero’s only because women make it difficult for men to get sex and when a man does, it means he achieved some thing more so than a woman who has it. As a woman can get it any time and any day, a man can't. Men are just as degraded as women are when they approach the opposite gender for sex. Men don’t degrade other men for it but women degrade men and use labels like dogs, pigs, sleaze etc. But IMO, women label other women as sluts more than men label women as sluts when they are promiscuous but they don’t realise what they are really doing to their own freedom when they do. It’s the men who are always trying to encourage the women to be this way.

You may find this book interesting  http://www.amazon.com/Female-Chauvinist-Pigs-Raunch-Culture/dp/0743249895

quote:

their ultimate motivation, whether they recognize it, much less admit it, or not, is to take that sexual power from women because they fear it.


Fear what? The boggy man?

All that being said, it gets tiring when a man complains about unfairness towards his gender, there is always some one who mentions female oppression that happened generations ago to some how justify the unfairness that is happening to men in the present. It’s a dead horse that has been beaten so much that I am surprised that there is anything left of the horse. Male dominated world or patriarchy or oppression of women all mean multi-purpose scapegoat.

This forum is full of female chauvinist and submissive (year dear) men who will side with women with anything to get in their favor. Oh well, at least I can see the light.





< Message edited by bottomboy81 -- 12/3/2007 1:39:48 AM >

(in reply to MadameCris)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 1:43:41 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
I think it is relevant to ask why exactly a given man wants sex and what is wrong with this want.

For me, sex is not about achieving orgasm since I am able to achieve that myself. My play is not orgasm-centric and I am content without it. I am not sure how much the same idea--that if an orgasm is all that matters, one can achieve it independently--can be extended to other men but to the extent it can, sex is not so much about achieving orgasm but achieving orgasm with someone else, which is not so bad. Things are amiss when this orgasm with someone is had without regard to how the experience is for that someone.

Much of my experiences have been what I describe as romantic D/s--it was done however romance is usually done along with D/s. Different people have different modes of expressing and receiving affection, of which affirmation through physical touch is one. To me, this mode is important. Physical touch does not have to be intercourse--it could be cuddling or sleeping side by side.

I can imagine and appreciate relationships where the dynamics are more like a classic master/servant relationship where sex is out of the question. The dynamic I envision which makes sex out of the question (for status reasons) makes most types of physical affirmation also out of place. While I would enjoy such a dynamic, it is hard for me to see it in a long-term exclusive relationship. It is not intercourse (that itself is not critical) but affectionate physical touch that is important to me, which is what makes a relationship devoid of it appeal to me as either short term or non-exclusive.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 12/3/2007 1:46:17 AM >

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 6:48:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
And here W/we are...... Page 12.  Does anyone else have a headache?
 
I'm not going to quote anyone, since those quotes are just making this thing longer and longer.
 
 
Tammyjo, thanks for clearing up the confusion.  When I type out certain replies quickly, I often have concerns that I wasn't clear.  I think you and I tend to agree on principle more often than not, which I can appreciate.  Thank you for your input.
 
As for the rest....... You know, I really don't see a thing wrong with anyone of either gender being here with the specific goal of looking for sex.  For some, that's all it's about, and I actually give kudos to those who know that is what they want and are honest in their dealings with others in saying so.  If you're out there, that's what you want, and you're willing to be up front about it, I have no issue with it.  However, you do have to realize that you might be in the wrong place looking for it.  I don't mean to imply that you shouldn't be on this particular site, but you must realize that the goal of many here isn't just to get laid.  That's just My personal observation from being around this last year or so.  There are other sites that are more geared toward that outcome.  If that's your goal, you might have better luck.
 
Now, as to anyone being 'entitled' to anything, I'm sorry, but you're not.  Someone back there said something about being lucky enough to be born with whatever genes you're born with, and that's very much how I see it.  I, nor does anyone else, 'deserve' and damn thing just because I happen to have been born into this body, or this place, or in this time.  Are there people out there who are going to take advantage of those types of factors to further themselves?  Well, of course there are.  I'd be a fool to say otherwise.  However, I still think those cases are the exception, rather than the rule.
 
There's nothing wrong with wanting what you want.  The problem arises when you unsuccessfully match yourself with someone who wants something different.  That's not anyone else's fault but your own.  At times, you have to look at that.  Somewhere back there, someone took up that quote from Ron White about the dog.  I very distinctly remember him also doing a bit about a gal that was close to a military base being sexually unfulfilled.  I'm paraphrasing here, but the bottom line is....... If you're having encounters with countless numbers of others and are unsatisfied...... Did you ever think the problem might be you?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: mistress why cant your male slave have sex - 12/3/2007 11:36:33 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81
Many women IN relationships (especially in the vanilla world) are willing to do things for their men but when it comes to this scene or this site, many women don’t appear that way.


Some of them really are user bitches.  Most are wary of indiscriminately horny men, who are pretty much everywhere on sites like these, and not willing to be loving and giving to every random horny dick that struts along. 

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This goes back to my old complaint. It’s perfectly 100 percent acceptable for a woman to perceive men as guilty until proven innocent. Just because he is a male and likes sex, he needs to prove himself that he is not going to take advantage of the woman.


But there is no crime here, just differing needs and desires.  It's fairly common for a man to have more of a need for random sex with strangers and for a woman to have more of a need for having sex with a loving partner who cares for her and wants to be a part of her life.  The ideal situation is for men and women who want the same things to hook up together.  The mating dance is to make sure there isn't a mismatch.  There is nothing "guilty" or wrong about wanting sex without emotional committment, unless you flat out lie about it.  There is also nothing "innocent" about wanting emotional committment.  But yes, both a man and a woman in the process of the mating dance need to prove to each other that they are a good match.  If a man has lower qualifying criteria for being willing to have sex and a woman has more stringent criteria, as is fairly often the case, it is frustrating to the man.  And no, life isn't "fair" that way. 


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Not only some women think this way, I think most do and yet, a man being bitter for being rejected (which is a lower level of bitterness and a more validated reason to be bitter) is totally forbidden from women.


Um, by whom exactly?  The Fashion Police?

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Yes, but the problem is that women always seem to think that the man owes her some thing if she is going to give him sex when sex is an equal employer. The woman enjoys sex just as much as the man. If a woman thinks she holds superiority over men with sex and thinks in the ways that a man has to owe her things like chivalry, she is a chauvinist.


Again, who have you been choosing to associate with?  The world you describe honestly does not sound like the one I live in or the one my immediate circle of friends lives in.  Some women as well as some men espouse gender superiority of one sort or another, which isn't much different from racial superiority and makes about as much sense.  Avoid those folks; their brains don't work on a logic base.

The bottom line is that no human being "owes" another one any damn thing just for being alive.  You earn the respect that you get.  You either have the social skills, the integrity and the depth of character to make other people like and respect you, or you don't.  Demanding that people care about you or like you or respect you when you haven't done anything to earn it is foolish.  That is true whether you are a man or a woman.  It's fine to have high standards of what it takes to earn your trust, liking and respect.  You have as much of a right to set your standards as a woman does.  Rather than getting mad at people who set their standards in a way you don't like and don't agree with, you need to take responsibility for setting your own standards and making your own choices about the women you want to associate with. 

It's fine to set YOUR standards as "I will only associate with women who do not use sex as trade, manipulation or power over men, I only want to associate with women who enjoy sex and consider it a fun activity between equals that leaves no one owing anyone else anything."  That is a good and healthy personal standard. Can you take personal responsibility for setting your own boundaries and stop fretting so much about what other people are doing?   There's assholes and bitches out there; everyone over the age of consent in their state already knows that.  Focusing your energy on them, positively or negatively, is simply unproductive.  

(in reply to bottomboy81)
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