Undressing or being undressed

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liminalRapture -> Undressing or being undressed (11/27/2007 10:09:50 PM)
OK, I have a totally irrational thing (as opposed to the rest of my erotic life, which, of course, is totally rational ;). I adore being undressed by someone else. I feel like I'm this cherished and totally adored and appreciated being. I feel pretty. And I just hate having to undress myself--it feels (and I know this is irrational) like I'm not much valued--just something to fill time till someone better comes along. I tried to tell my ex how much it meant to me, but he only undressed me 2 times in a year! And it seems like it is pretty par for the course to expect subs to do that themselves. Anyone have similar reactions or relevant experience?

laurell3 -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/27/2007 10:13:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liminalRapture OK, I have a totally irrational thing (as opposed to the rest of my erotic life, which, of course, is totally rational ;). I adore being undressed by someone else. I feel like I'm this cherished and totally adored and appreciated being. I feel pretty. And I just hate having to undress myself--it feels (and I know this is irrational) like I'm not much valued--just something to fill time till someone better comes along. I tried to tell my ex how much it meant to me, but he only undressed me 2 times in a year! And it seems like it is pretty par for the course to expect subs to do that themselves. Anyone have similar reactions or relevant experience? Having someone undress while you watch is an act of control. I think my experiences have been about 50/50 them getting them off as quickly as they can, which is hot and me having to strip for them. I had someone once that had a requirement of the amount of time I could take to strip and fold my clothes neatly, I started cheating and wore no socks/underwear at all though, which didn't go over well. [8D]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/27/2007 11:47:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liminalRapture I tried to tell my ex how much it meant to me, but he only undressed me 2 times in a year! And it seems like it is pretty par for the course to expect subs to do that themselves. Anyone have similar reactions or relevant experience? I undress myself, but I also often times undress him and dress him. In my dynamic with him, I am the servant, so it makes sense that I'm the one doing the work that he enjoys and benefits from. In turn, I benefit from that. I've never had someone undress me before, though. Sounds intriguing.

MaamJay -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 1:06:58 AM)
I think it might depend a bit on the dynamic. With male subs, I am more inclined to have them undress Me ... watching them fumble with female clothing is delicious fun! However, I have on occasion undressed a sub ... mainly to disarm them ... to throw off their inclination to do and allow something to be done to them graciously ... and that's fun too! For a fem sub like the OP ... perhaps you are more likely to find what you seek in something closer to a Daddy/daughter dynamic? After all, parents have to undress their lil girls ... just a thought! Of course, you could also be lucky enough to find a Dom who just loves to unwrap His "present" every night ... Maam Jay aka violet[A]

TysGalilah -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 4:18:48 AM)
if I am being undressed, I am feeling their control of my submission ( reads physical vulnerablity...freedom from/of responsibility for will/choice) if I am undressing myself at their command, I am feeling my surrender at their control ( reads emotional vulnerablity...my choice/will and accountability for that). I have done both, and found they really do feel different...puts my mind-set in different places.

Tigrita -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 7:09:56 AM)
Yes, I sure do love the feeling of a man wanting to tear your clothes off like you're a Christmas present they've been dying to get their hands on... Or to be slowly, seductively, actively disrobed... I do also enjoy the vulnerability of the command to strip. Hell, I just like getting naked, it doesn't really matter how [:D] Like Galilah said, it is different forms of control; them taking possession of your body and its state of clothed-ness by undressing you, or enjoying your active submission in having you undress yourself. I do think it feels a little sexier to be undressed though. I get a good mix of both, though probably more often am told I'm wearing too many clothes (that being any clothes) and that I need to correct that. My ex pretty much always undressed me.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 7:17:44 AM)
quote: I adore being undressed by someone else. I feel like I'm this cherished and totally adored and appreciated being. I feel pretty. And I just hate having to undress myself--it feels (and I know this is irrational) like I'm not much valued--just something to fill time till someone better comes along. Who cares if it is irrational! If it affects you, the emotions are real, they might not be justified but they are real. If someone asked me how to deal with an issue like this I would advise them to undress you as much as possible at first but then when they couldn't rather than making you undress a passive act, I would make it an active act. Sit back in a chair and slowly talk you through undressing yourself. Telling you to pose this way or that, to remove this piece before that, or to go slower, etc. I would probably have less sex on the nights I undressed you and always on the nights I had you undress. Of course I would also shower you with praise as you undressed yourself, tell you what poses turn me on, what moves excite me. I would also recomend that your partner compliment your beauty while you undress and when you are naked. I would also want to uncover why you feel less desired/attractive when you undress yourself and explore that as a way of improving your self esteem, if indeed it is wrapped around that.

hardbodysub -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 7:17:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Having someone undress while you watch is an act of control. ... The question is, who's in control? The answer is "it depends". The watcher isn't necessarily the one in control. Also, undressing someone else can be a very dominant, controlling act.

Tigrita -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 7:31:59 AM)
quote: The question is, who's in control? The answer is "it depends". The watcher isn't necessarily the one in control. Also, undressing someone else can be a very dominant, controlling act. Especially if they do it with a hunting knife weg Reminds me, I need to buy more panties if Stephan is bringing that knife again this weekend, I'm already short after his last visit.

toservez -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 9:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita Yes, I sure do love the feeling of a man wanting to tear your clothes off like you're a Christmas present they've been dying to get their hands on... Or to be slowly, seductively, actively disrobed... I do also enjoy the vulnerability of the command to strip. Hell, I just like getting naked, it doesn't really matter how [:D] Like Galilah said, it is different forms of control; them taking possession of your body and its state of clothed-ness by undressing you, or enjoying your active submission in having you undress yourself. I do think it feels a little sexier to be undressed though. I get a good mix of both, though probably more often am told I'm wearing too many clothes (that being any clothes) and that I need to correct that. My ex pretty much always undressed me. I agree/indentify totally with this. Nothing wrong with understanding and embracing your feelings. To me another taking my clothes off in any manner or ordering me whether specific way or not is a level of domination that will get me aroused every single time!

DesFIP -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 9:43:32 AM)
I like being undressed but he would rather watch. Which is fine also, as it shows he's paying attention. But just being told to get naked while he's doing something else does seem to indicate that I'm not important enough to him and that he could be just as happy with any other naked female. Now if you're into objectification, that would be fine. Personally I'm not. I imagine the op isn't either.

rubberpet -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 11:27:12 AM)
Hell yeah, I'd love for Mistress to undress me. It would make me feel desired, whether She's unzipping my catsuit or sliding off my shirt and shorts. Feeling Her hands all over my body as She gropes and fondles Her property and gazes at me like I'm a pork chop...yummy! Then, let the mauling begin! [:D] She tells me not to fight it...resistance is futile!

RumpusParable -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 1:04:55 PM)
On the sexual side of things: I have a real thing for having my panties taken off me during fooling around or sex. I can wonder around naked all day at home but think I might be getting some action later? I go put at least some underwear on so they can be taken off. I don't care much for being helped undress in other ways Most of the time (not always, but most), but something about having my panties pushed aside or slid down my hip is just terribly much more erotic than without. On the bottom/sub side of things: I feel almost childlike when someone undoes my clothing for me, a certain amount of treasured. On the dominant/top side of things: I sometimes like to undress a sub as part of playing dress-up with them, in that situation it's a control thing... treating them like a doll or like they can't do it right for themselves or just as an expression of our familiarity.

sammiebabygirl -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 2:05:17 PM)
The only time I get off on being undressed is when it is in a resistance scene, ie, rape play. That is totally hot and takes away all my control. Otherwise, I find it too much on the romantic/vanilla side to be undressed by a Dom. jen

batshalom -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 2:11:20 PM)
I lovvvvvvvvve being undressed slowly, each inch of my skin kissed, caressed, feeling as though he is drinking me in with his eyes, his touch, his body. It consumes me, takes me away ... and I get chills when I think about it. Being undressed by someone else makes me feel vulnerable, cared for, small. I don't mind undressing myself but I don't get the same feeling from it. I do, however, love to watch his eyes and his expressions from across the room.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 2:37:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita quote: The question is, who's in control? The answer is "it depends". The watcher isn't necessarily the one in control. Also, undressing someone else can be a very dominant, controlling act. Especially if they do it with a hunting knife weg Reminds me, I need to buy more panties if Stephan is bringing that knife again this weekend, I'm already short after his last visit. whew.. that's hot! I never thought about the difference before.. I usually take my clothes off myself... But come to think of it, the thought of Michael slowly undressing me and doing all sorts of nasty,depraved things to his "good little girl"...omg..

MistressPav -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 4:45:59 PM)
What a sweet thought. Yes, my dear, I agree with you. Being undressed by someone else is very erotic as well as assuring. I believe the person that does it, enjoys removing the clothing just as much as you like it being removed. Pav, Mistress of the Extremes

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 5:08:19 PM)
Womens clothes are freakin complicated. It's hard to undress someone else fluidly, specially if it's a female in female type clothes. I'd suggest offering to teach them, so you can undress together and specifically request when you want it. Either they'll get into it and start doing it themselves or you'll just keep having to ask.

Kellendra -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 8:10:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liminalRapture OK, I have a totally irrational thing (as opposed to the rest of my erotic life, which, of course, is totally rational ;). I adore being undressed by someone else. I feel like I'm this cherished and totally adored and appreciated being. I feel pretty. And I just hate having to undress myself--it feels (and I know this is irrational) like I'm not much valued--just something to fill time till someone better comes along. I tried to tell my ex how much it meant to me, but he only undressed me 2 times in a year! And it seems like it is pretty par for the course to expect subs to do that themselves. Anyone have similar reactions or relevant experience? Your Birthday and Christmas?..... Nothing overly thrilling to add except... I love being undressed....so incredibly slowly it is almost painful, of course the fact I have the paitence of a teaspoon probably comes into play there.

Takenbymasterwk -> RE: Undressing or being undressed (11/28/2007 8:51:17 PM)
this thread is seriously making me horny. as for me- i adore Him undressing me. He demands nudity in His presence- so when i get to Him- generally He likes to pull off the clothes- yanking off the jeans- throwing everything into a big rumpled pile...occasionally He'll make me undress at the door...demanding i not not break eye contact as i do so- knowing how terribly difficult it used to be for me to be naked all the time...now i just do it...but i prefer He undress me- strip me physically and emotionally- remove my last line of defense- my clothes.....oh man i need to touch myself or something....

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