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HARD? - 8/14/2005 4:10:10 AM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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Is it hard to be a sub all of the time? Or is it just me?

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zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 5:21:16 AM

nella

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Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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it is hard to be a sub all of the time, it is hard to obey and do what the Dom wants, it is hard to acept punishment when you are not in the mood and they hurt, not good hurt, but hurt. It is hard to be sexualy used when you realy dont feel like it, or be treated like a slave when you dont feel like it, it is hard generaly, but the rewards is worth the price.

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 5:31:15 AM

masie

Posts: 27
Joined: 7/26/2005
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hi

like nella said it is hard when you dont "feel" like doing anything that your Dom/Master requests but for me i enjoy making Master happy, if He is happy im happy and then its easy, no i dont like being punished but then thats the objective

there have been moments when i have really not felt like doing something but its not about what i want, i accept this and im happy and content knowing this, does it make it any easier no, but would i want to give it all up no, the rewards far outweigh the hard moments

masie

(in reply to nella)

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 10:13:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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It's hard to be who you are, no matter who you are.

No one FEELS submissive all the time, no one gets the warm sub fuzzies ALL the time.

But that's why they have training and discipline.

As long as it is ultimately fulfilling, then you know you're good.

One of the hardest illusions people have to work past is the idea that submission is a wonderful cure all that will always be inspiring and fluttery and yummy.

It's just life.

(in reply to zaynab)

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 10:28:45 AM

ragdoll

Posts: 231
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From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

It's hard to be who you are, no matter who you are.

No one FEELS submissive all the time, no one gets the warm sub fuzzies ALL the time.

But that's why they have training and discipline.

As long as it is ultimately fulfilling, then you know you're good.

One of the hardest illusions people have to work past is the idea that submission is a wonderful cure all that will always be inspiring and fluttery and yummy.

It's just life.

i like what you said here... ^_^

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 10:37:21 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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is it hard to "be" submissive all the time? i would have to say yes, and no. no, because one either is a submissive, or they are not. it is nothing you choose, nothing you can control, it is as much a natural part of you as your skin or eye color. it's instinctive. and this is what makes me say that yes, it is hard to be a submissive, simply because when one is born with this trait, it makes for a very difficult road through life. you are constantly being taken advantage of, used, abused...just vulnerable to an extreme degree. and because it is your nature, there is nothing you can do about it.

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 11:05:54 AM

Sabella

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NT

< Message edited by Sabella -- 8/14/2005 11:08:08 AM >

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“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 12:32:52 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
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From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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i'm always a submissive, just like i'm always me. That being said, both are hard to "be" all the time, but the alternative isn't acceptable to me either. As the saying goes, i'd rather be loved for who i am, rather than who i'm not.

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by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 3:20:38 PM

BlouLady

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Actually it is hard. It takes alot of adjusting,and patience on both parts.

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RE: HARD? - 8/14/2005 7:15:01 PM

luvdragonx

Posts: 388
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Yep. For me it is hard to do it all the time. Especially since the dynamic has recently changed from husband/wife to Dom/sub. It's a daily struggle to let go of some of my former behaviors and attitudes. Fortunately, he's being very patient and takinga an interesting approach to my lapses in 'subness'.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 6:28:21 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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If submissive type personality is who you are, then its hard not to be a doormat, to be vulnerable and taken adavantage of.
There were two recent forums 1. on natual vs unnatural submissivesness. That discusion was interesting. To not be unnatual for me is not who i am.
A second formun on doormats. What are they.

People can try and determine all they want what is submissve or dominant.... but bdsm will not define your submisvenes or domiance.

i am who i am. Within a power, authority and responsiblity exchange with a dominant, i find obedience at times hard.

Maybe that is the ultimate question. Warm and fuzzy toward a man who is dominant is not what i am about. It is about obedience even when i dont "feel" like it. It is has nothing to do with submission, it has to do with volitional will.

throwing 2 cents in jar.

~~shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 6:34:16 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

Is it hard to be a sub all of the time? Or is it just me?

zay... in light of email i received, what part is not being, feeling submissive? Do the alter personalities sabatoge the obedience or the surrender or the yeilding of control and authority?
just wondering.........

~~shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 7:13:49 AM

tigress31047

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I find it hard to be submissive all the time. There are things I used to do that are no longer allowed and I miss them sometimes but I look at the overall picture and what the future holds when I think about breaking those rules (not to say I don't break them anyway on ocassion) (lol)
but..If it weren't challenging and hard at times what would be the point. We would just be doormats and that would be boring.
When W/we are together, being submissive is very easy. It just seems natural. When W/we are apart it is harder. There is still a hint of the "old me" that wants to surface and then its very hard.
It just takes understanding youself and what you want the end result to be.I think the dynamic itself determines just how submissive one will be which would be differnt for every relationship.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 7:28:01 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

Is it hard to be a sub all of the time?

this slave has found that it is no harder to be submissive all the time than it is to be female all the time, or a red-head all the time, or speak americanized english all the time. it has been this slave's "nature" all of her life, as far back as she can remember, regardless of the relationship--the HARD part is trying to explain it to people who aren't and also to those that assume that it means that one is a "doormat", "dysfunctional" or "abused" in some way.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 7:58:46 AM

fastlane

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Lord, it's hard to be humble!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 8:09:58 AM

nella

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From: Norway
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it is hard not to be a doormat yes, i have always wanted to pleese others, but now that i am in a D/s dynamic i find it mutch more easy not to be a doormat.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 9:43:34 AM

silverchains

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Joined: 5/23/2005
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I think I know what you mean. Yes, in a way for me it is. I love being a sub...that's just me, but there are times when I don't want to do anything when all I want to do is sit and watch tv, but then Sir, says it's time to clean and I clean...even though I'm tired and don't feel like it. But, it makes him happy...I occasionally even do more than asked....if he says clean the kitchen I clean everything....the stove, the oven, the etc...and the restroom too and that makes him happy and that makes me happy.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 10:03:07 AM

ChereeAmoor

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I don't care WHAT someone does, sooner or later, there HAS to be a day off! We all need time to recharge the batteries, and luckily I am allowed plenty of that.

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 10:30:55 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

I don't care WHAT someone does, sooner or later, there HAS to be a day off! We all need time to recharge the batteries, and luckily I am allowed plenty of that.

Well again to me that's why being a slave isn't about any specific ACTION. Even if I'm not cleaning I'm still "an owned slave" and I don't get nor would I want a break from that.

We all need breaks from heavy work and stressful situations. But being who we are is supposed to ULTIMATELY fulfill ourselves.

So I never want a day off from being owned and expected to follow the Owners orders, but I agree that it's good for people to take breaks from work and chores occasionally.

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)

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RE: HARD? - 8/15/2005 11:29:54 AM

nella

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suposedly ultimatly furfil us? i think there is few things that ultimatly furfils a person, but then, that is just me.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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