"Mistress"- Odd usage? (Full Version)

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CuriousLord -> "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 4:49:20 PM)

A stray thought from reading Stephann's Dominants Using Titles thread, the title, "Mistress", used for female Dominants in M/s..

Does the word "Mistress" ever sound.. not appropriately used here?

To me, growing up, a "mistress" was one of those women a man would cheat on his wife with.  She'd normally be younger, attractive, quite possibly a gold digger or just has a thing for older men.  So, when I first started reading this site (my first time seeing a BDSM community), I would see "mistress", I thought, "Gee, these women are awfully proud of being 'the other woman' for married men."

So, as a second question.. how did "Mistress" come from being the woman on the side to being a term of respect?

For any newbies, we've also had a bunch of threads on the different views of many different titles, particularly "Sir" as many from the southern US use the word for just about any male they run into while others hold it in high regard. I just can't remember anyone explaning how "Mistress" connects between its usages.



Sky42 -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 4:57:07 PM)

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
mis·tress  [image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/premium.gif[/image]  [image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image][image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif[/image]  /ˈmɪs[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]trɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[mis-tris] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun



1.
a woman who has authority, control, or power, esp. the female head of a household, institution, or other establishment.



2.
a woman employing, or in authority over, servants or attendants.



3.
a female owner of an animal, or formerly, a slave.



4.
a woman who has the power of controlling or disposing of something at her own pleasure: mistress of a great fortune.



5.
(sometimes initial capital letter[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]) something regarded as feminine that has control or supremacy: Great Britain, the mistress of the seas.



6.
a women who is skilled in something, as an occupation or art.



7.
a woman who has a continuing, extramarital sexual relationship with one man, esp. a man who, in return for an exclusive and continuing liaison, provides her with financial support.



8.
British. a female schoolteacher; schoolmistress.



9.
(initial capital letter[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]) a term of address in former use and corresponding to Mrs., Miss, or Ms.



10.
Archaic. sweetheart.


[Origin: 1275–1325; ME maistresse < MF, OF, equiv. to maistre master + -esse -ess[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]]  It's actually only a fairly recent reference to 'the other woman' as opposed to a female who is in command.  IE: female form of Master.



juliaoceania -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 4:58:33 PM)

"mistress" is a term from the Old South during the times of slavery, and was what Black slaves called their female owners



CuriousLord -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 4:58:58 PM)

Weird.  Looks like it's a word I just always missed, or something.  The seventh definition's the only one I've seen outside of this community.



Archer -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:00:36 PM)

Well if you search the history of usage you'll find it was a respectfull term before it became a term of derission. It's come full circle it seems.

Think Shakespeare and how it was used in his works.
I do wonder the opposite how it came to mean "The other Woman".



CalifChick -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:02:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I do wonder the opposite how it came to mean "The other Woman".



Perhaps because the other woman is the one who has the power, as described in the other definitions??

Cali



Archer -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:04:52 PM)

Purely conjecture but it could be that it was used to indicate a Kept Woman a woman who was free legally, and who had charge of her own property/business because she was bankrolled by her lover.

Just as likely though is that single women who didn't marry and owned property might have been labled that way because they wouldn't take a husband. She must be sleeping with someone to accumulate such wealth/ material goods.




dcnovice -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:20:19 PM)

The title Mrs. is actually an abbreviation of Mistress.



AquaticSub -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:29:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Well if you search the history of usage you'll find it was a respectfull term before it became a term of derission. It's come full circle it seems.

Think Shakespeare and how it was used in his works.
I do wonder the opposite how it came to mean "The other Woman".



Yup. "Mistress of the Castle" or "Mistress of the house". I really would like to know how it came to mean the other woman as well. Maybe it was used as a mockery of them since they aren't actually mistress of the house?



dcnovice -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 5:41:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Well if you search the history of usage you'll find it was a respectfull term before it became a term of derission. It's come full circle it seems.

Think Shakespeare and how it was used in his works.
I do wonder the opposite how it came to mean "The other Woman".



Yup. "Mistress of the Castle" or "Mistress of the house". I really would like to know how it came to mean the other woman as well. Maybe it was used as a mockery of them since they aren't actually mistress of the house?


From Common Courtesy by Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners):

In contemporary America, there is still some bitter opposition to the title "Ms," although it is in the best evolutionary tradition, deriving, as did "Miss" and "Mrs.," from the Elizabethan title "Mistress," which, before it took on a racy meaning, had the same function as "Ms." today. When the title was divided to distinguish marital status ("Mrs." being used properly only with the husband's names, and never the wife's given name), there ceased to be any correct way of addressing a married woman in a professional context. Such a person was not supposed to exist. Mistress Nell Quickly, the well-known businesswoman, had no such problem when she became Mistress Pistol.

. . .

The female equivalent of "Mr.," as in "Mr. President" or "Mr. Justice," is "Madam," as respectable a word as "mistress" used to be. (One wonders why professionally useful female titles always seem to pick up dirty connotations.)

I know this doesn't exactly answer the question, but I thought it was interesting, particularly the bit in parentheses.




Decimus -> RE: "Mistress"- Odd usage? (12/7/2007 6:15:16 PM)

Everyone wants to know how it came to mean the other woman? Definition 10.

10. Archaic. sweetheart.



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