RE: Mind Fucks

RE: Mind Fucks (Full Version)

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velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:24:12 AM)
LA i assume even though it is being done "in a scene" he or she doesn't know it's going to be a mind fuck, kinda like spoiling the surprise if they knew. What about mind fucks that are done outside of "a scene" as a daily part of the D/s dynamic? Isn't the bottom line of all mind fucks testing trust? Like you say going to the edge, playing with the subs mind, playing on her fears of knowing something could go wrong, that her doms not perfect... etc. Personally, for me, i would find that emotionally exhausting. breathsasone i tend to see it as testing to, which is the aspect of it that i am not thrilled with - for that would show lack of trust on the doms part in me. As LA and others have said it's not always about "testing", this is the part i am curious to understand - how playing with trust, on any level, can be beneficial. Decimus, if someone did a mind fuck with my hard limits i wouldn't appreciate it - like made me believe they were going to do something (my limit) and didn't [:@].... i like what you suggested... it's a change of persepctive, that i would like to think about more. crouchingtigress, when tied down unable to get away that is probably the most vulnerable you will ever be with someone. To get to that stage, for me anyway, i would have to have a very high level of trust already established - this goes back to what i said to LA - therefore he could not mind fuck me for i would KNOW i was safe. Maybe they work if you really enjoy fear and being in danger? i personally don't.... i would shut down or panic. If people could give some examples of mind fucks maybe i could see it from a more positive angle.

mnottertail -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:26:49 AM)
quote: An example of a simplified form of mind fuck say as a teen you and your boyfriend go parking and while in a state of compromising position he suddenly teasingly whispers "shhh I think I hear someone coming" the feelings you experience thinking someone is actually out there and may catch you becomes the mind fuck When they are really getting out after gobbling on my knob, I like to say 'oooooooooh, if your mother could see you now'.......it reduces them to jelly Ron

crouchingtigress -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:30:58 AM)
quote: crouchingtigress, when tied down unable to get away that is probably the most vulnerable you will ever be with someone. To get to that stage, for me anyway, i would have to have a very high level of trust already established - this goes back to what i said to LA - therefore he could not mind fuck me for i would KNOW i was safe. Maybe they work if you really enjoy fear and being in danger? i personally don't.... i would shut down or panic. you might feel very different when it was really happening...[;)]

breatheasone -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:32:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone This is something I think is bad for building and maintaining a healthy relationship.(my opinion only) If someone has to "test" to see if their partner is up to snuff then the relationship has more issues than just surviving a test to me that is. I would never stand for that like of manipulation. Life is WAY too short for games...deal with me honestly and openly and we will grow like you wouldn't believe... try to mess with my head or manipulate me...and we have NO where to go. i am not sure you understand what a mindfuck is breathasone, maybe the link LA posted will shed some light. No I get it just fine...its ALL messing with my feelings of trust and sense well being with that person...and I believe it is UNhealthy for me to be in that kind of situation. Mind fuck...testing...its all designed to but doubt in my head...if I am loved and my partner wants me to feel safe, why in the world would they put me through that????

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:32:25 AM)
i hope so or he better not untie me lol

Tigrita -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:32:55 AM)
I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much. For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist). Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply. Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating. I can't wait to delve into this more.

mnottertail -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:33:17 AM)
that is an acceptable outcome

CelticPrince -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:34:54 AM)
tears, for my money mindfucks are a waste of time and effort. CP

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:39:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much. For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist). Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply. Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating. I can't wait to delve into this more. You hit on something there for me tigrita, especially the bolded part, and it made me consider why i find mind fucks so distasteful and scary. i grew up in an environment you just described - very dysfunctional and the main emotion i recall from my childhood is fear and dread.... made me extremely anxious well into my late 20's, well i still am an anxious person but i don't feel that sense of dread anymore, i am in control of my environment. Mind fucks would bring me back to a place i have long put in my past - not able to rely on my surroundings or the people who were a part of them.

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:41:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince tears, for my money mindfucks are a waste of time and effort. CP Than we'd get along very well CP [;)]

IrishMist -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:41:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears You either love them or hate them. i want to know how you do a mind fuck successfully without undermining the trust issues in the relationship? Are they done to test the sub/slave, to frighten him/her? What other reasons would one do a mind fuck? i like to keep an open mind about things but i think a dom who really got off on them would piss me off eventually. It would be hard to trust someone like that and i prefer trust in my relationships. Maybe there is something i am not understanding about them that someone can shed some light on?? Mind fucks...when done right...yes, they can almost destroy the trust that a person has in another. But on the other hand, they can also strengthen the bond in some cases. I guess it really depends on the people involved and how strong , mentally, they are. Hmm...there was only one time in my relationship wth my husband that I ever doubted my own sanity lol. I had gone to pick him up and I was royally pissed that I had to do it. He had been drinking...and when he drank...he was exceptionally violent and brutal...not to mention extremely deadly. I was bitching and yelling at him on the way back home; just as we were walking inside, he said something to me...I can't even remember what he said...but I turned around and punched him...busted his lip open. He just smiled at me; grabbed me by my throat; slammed me against the side of the house and jammed a gun into my mouth. I was so pissed...all I remember thinking is ...the fucking bastard...he wouldn't. Until I looked in his eyes; it is the only time I can ever remember my knees wobbling and my legs giving out. The answer was there...He did. He pulled the trigger with a little ole smile on his face; his hand wrapped around my throat. Obviously, the gun was not loaded...he had done it on purpose to see how I would react. I attacted him lol...it got so bad that the police were called and had to pull us apart. We both spent the night in jail...not because anyone pressed charges...but because they knew us and were afraid we were going to finish the job. /shrug Did it shake my trust in him? I wish I could say yes; but it didn't. If anything, it made it stronger. Did he scare me that day. BIG TIME. But it did not matter; because I knew, even then...that everything he did he did for a specific reason.

breatheasone -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:43:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much. For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist). Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply. Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating. I can't wait to delve into this more. If someone has that skill set...why would they want to tear down trust...and interject doubt and fear to someone they love and care about?...Why not use that skill to build up the one you love, foster trust....Edify them?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:47:36 AM)
Breath do you beleieve I have been tearing down trust and interjecting real fear and doubt regarding our relationship with my partner? Do you think I will be doing harm to my relationship with my partner tonight when I enact my mind fuck? A scene is a scene for me. I do not do mind fucks or testing outside of scenes because I do find them distasteful and not productive. But scene headspace is not rational, it is not normal. That's why a rape scene can be great, even when rape itself is so wrong.

breatheasone -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:52:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Breath do you beleieve I have been tearing down trust and interjecting real fear and doubt regarding our relationship with my partner? Do you think I will be doing harm to my relationship with my partner tonight when I enact my mind fuck? A scene is a scene for me. I do not do mind fucks or testing outside of scenes because I do find them distasteful and not productive. But scene headspace is not rational, it is not normal. That's why a rape scene can be great, even when rape itself is so wrong. I believe what you and your partner agree to do together and enjoy together is great for you two...and I hope you have a great time and that its a memory you both will cherrish, look back on and smile....

Tigrita -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:52:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much. For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist). Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply. Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating. I can't wait to delve into this more. You hit on something there for me tigrita, especially the bolded part, and it made me consider why i find mind fucks so distasteful and scary. i grew up in an environment you just described - very dysfunctional and the main emotion i recall from my childhood is fear and dread.... made me extremely anxious well into my late 20's, well i still am an anxious person but i don't feel that sense of dread anymore, i am in control of my environment. Mind fucks would bring me back to a place i have long put in my past - not able to rely on my surroundings or the people who were a part of them. I think this is why I like the concept. Similar to why I enjoy humiliation play. These are emotions I think everyone is faced with every day (at least I am) that we have to fight and rise above in order to function. I'm a very confident, secure person, it is pretty hard to actually humiliate me or rattle me in my day-to-day life, but that doesn't mean that those emotions and fears aren't there under that tough, functional exterior. That takes effort to maintain, and giving in to vulnerability and 'weakness' is cathartic and generates a primal, emotionally naked intimacy that I crave and fear at the same time. I'm not saying this is good for everyone, it sounds like it would in fact do bad things to you mentally and emotionally, but I hope that gives you some perspective into why others like myself could enjoy it. I know there were times in my life where it would have been very unhealthy for me too.

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:54:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Mind fucks...when done right...yes, they can almost destroy the trust that a person has in another. But on the other hand, they can also strengthen the bond in some cases. I guess it really depends on the people involved and how strong , mentally, they are. i don't doubt people who, like julia, say they actually strengthen their bond. i have a hard time wrapping my mind around it because of where i am coming from. If what you went through happened to me i would loose all trust and be gone from his life.

IrishMist -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 10:59:42 AM)
quote: i don't doubt people who, like julia, say they actually strengthen their bond. i have a hard time wrapping my mind around it because of where i am coming from. If what you went through happened to me i would loose all trust and be gone from his life. LOL It was the only time in our relationship that I actually doubted my sanity for being there; that one day lol. I can laugh about it now because looking back, I can see things differently than they were at the time; yet at the same time, I know that if someone were to do that to me today...they would be dead. I don't know...he and I had a very strange kind of relationship...both of us were on the edge; it's probably why we were so good together...we complimented and filled in any holes that were there...if that makes any sense. Neither of us were very nice people; we had to control that with others...but with each other, we were able to just be ourselves; which is why I think it worked so well for us.

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 11:00:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita giving in to vulnerability and 'weakness' is cathartic and generates a primal, emotionally naked intimacy that I crave and fear at the same time. i agree, except with the fear part, i would replace it with anticipation. But this doesn't have to be accomplished with mind fucks.

velvetears -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 11:03:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Breath do you beleieve I have been tearing down trust and interjecting real fear and doubt regarding our relationship with my partner? Do you think I will be doing harm to my relationship with my partner tonight when I enact my mind fuck? A scene is a scene for me. I do not do mind fucks or testing outside of scenes because I do find them distasteful and not productive. But scene headspace is not rational, it is not normal. That's why a rape scene can be great, even when rape itself is so wrong. Can you elaborate on what the difference would be of experiencing them in a scene or outside of a scene? If a dom said to me we are going to do a mind fuck scene i would anticipate it, wouldn't that ruin it?

FullCircle -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/8/2007 11:04:45 AM)
So you think you are all participating in a mind fuck thread do you! Oh the little lambs innocently going about their business Mwah ha ha ha. OK that was shit, nevermind[:D]

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