RE: This really pisses me off!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: This really pisses me off!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: This really pisses me off!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 7:41:55 AM

ghitaPVH

Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

HRS in florida got a VERY bad rap several years ago...a good part of the reason why is doesnt exist anymore. well, HRS does, but they dont handle CPS or adoptions or any of that stuff anymore....the corruption and bad stories got so bad there was no way anyone was gonna trust them ever again unless they flat out got rid of the entire organization and started over. Unfortunanly for the people who still do it, those bad feelings will probably never go away down here. My mom worked for child protection....she did home studies....for years and years and years....she finally walked out one day she got so tired of having to tell kids one thing and then do another. she said the politics behind CPS are terrifying. hell. Im a CPS case myself. mom adopted me, alot of case workers end up doing that actually.

~edited to add(I just asked mom): it is a state run organization, so laws are different state to state. But apparently about 15 years ago, FLorida got read the riot act because a ton of kids were getting abused and even killed even after abuse was reported, and there were alot of cases of children in foster care getting abused also when they were supposed to be safe....so instead of getting in trouble for not acting when they should have...the state policy took a huge swing to the other side of the fence and florida became a "snatch first, ask questions later state". Mom says that has changed, but the average person down here still remembers those days and its gonna take a long time for people to stop feeling that way about CPS.

< Message edited by ghitaPVH -- 12/10/2007 7:46:54 AM >

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 21

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:01:14 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Years ago, in FL, a friend's daughter cracked her skull 2X.... legitimate accidents - once tumbled over in a walker (it wasn't suppossed to topple when pushed against the step to the patio), the second time she fell out of a shopping cart. On the second trip to the ER someone made the report (i think thats probably mandatory if there is an accident thats suspicious or repetitive) and CPS came out to investigate. They did and nothing was persued. Luckily the girl grew up and has no lasting impairments.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 12/10/2007 8:02:05 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 22

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:12:28 AM

Gardenista

Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Maybe it varies by state ghita but i was told (am in NY) that if a case is unfounded it stays in a dead file for 6 months then is purged. i had an altercation with my sister last year and she called CPS and they came to my home as well as my daughter's school. i knew right away who called and was upfront with them and explained the situation with my sister (she's very vengeful and unbalanced, and a 30 yr active alcoholic). A CPS report could seriously hinder my ability to work in my profession and she assured me that when she came back (they have to follow up) it would be reported unfounded and i didn't have to worry. CPS knows people call to screw around with others, it's an occupational hazard. The morons who use the system to hurt and threaten others are protected, this is one of the only ways you can attack someone while being a coward because your identity is protected. If it didn't work that way people would be hesitant to report, so you have to put up with the shit to make sure um's are safe.

The idea that social workers are lurking in wait to snatch kids from homes is ridiculous. First of all it's very difficult to remove a child, they have to go through a process, courts, exams etc. They don't just go in and make a judgement call and take them - unless of course there is real obvious abuse... that's the whole point.

My husband is an LSW, not a CPS worker, but an adoption planner, so he works with the county on a regular basis. From what little he's allowed to tell me (because of HIPA), child welfare simply does not have the funding here in Ohio to function to the best of their ability. Resources get stretched to the limit, and every year there's more unnecessary paperwork that keeps good, dedicated social workers from doing what they signed up to do in the first place. Social work is a thankless job.

Sorry about the mini-rant, but this is definitely a subject that hits close to home. =)

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 23

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:16:29 AM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

didnt Fl lose a bunch of kids because the case workers werent actually going out to see the kids in the system?

i had CPS called on me twice by the kids school. it was embarrassing. the first time they said my daughters poetry was too dark and it meant she was suicidal, the worker came out and read her stuff and told me that at least my daughter had an outlet and to take her to another school.
the second time the school called, it was because of on of my sons had cuts on his fingers, he was in 3rd grade and when the teacher asked him about the cuts, my son said "i cut myself" which in turn the teacher thought he meant on purpose. so here comes CPS again and i had to explain that the boys are in Boyscouts and they were earning a card or badge for pocketknife use and whittling. Had to get the cub master and everything to confirm. but now i have those two incidents on file!!!

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 24

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:22:57 AM

ladyeleanor

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

About half my family are social workers, and whilst I am of course talking about the UK system here as opposed to the US one I have to say I despair when people get so scared and afraid at the idea of the social services having to investigate them. Yes, it is not pleasent to be asked those sort of questions and be scrutinised in such a manner, but what is the alternative? If social services do not investigate absolutely every allegation made to them, they leave themselves wide open for all manner of crap but more importantly they leave children potentially vunerable. In this country it is all to easy to drag social services through the mud if ever anything does go wrong, but you seldom hear about all the incredible work they do accomplish and you never hear about the simple fact that so often their hands are tied by legislation more than anything else.
Regarding the outing, disgraceful behaviour. Some people are beyond pathetic.

(in reply to BBWnNC72)

Post #: 25

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:49:09 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

i'm sorry people had to be uncomfortable for a little while...but i live in a state where every few years a parent kills themselves and all of their children because G-d told them to, for the protection of the children...i wish CPS would make parents uncomfortable a little more around here....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to ladyeleanor)

Post #: 26

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 8:59:38 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

It is unfortunate that this has happened, but it is not the end of the world, and her UMs will grow up one day....

I suppose I come at this from the perspective of rearing UMs, and if I had to stop posting here, for example, to stop my ex from taking my UM, it would be a very small price to pay. Ihave photos of myself here, but there is no one that really cares what I do, and my ex and I were kinky when we were married anyways..lol. I suppose I see a difference between having a public blog and photos of yourself on the 'net, and doing this in the privacy of your home... I think it is very wrong for parents to have their UMs taken because they have this sort of intimate relationship. What goes on in the bedroom is no one's business... but I suppose I have a different opinion when people take it out of the bedroom.

When people get together with someone and have their offspring, don't they have a right to have a say in what their UMs are exposed to? Don't they have the right to say, "You know, when we were married you weren't posting blogs of yourself and flaunting your sex life over the internet... this is not the deal I signed up for when I impregnated you."? There is an argument to be made that if people in her community find out what she is up to, then her UMs may indeed be open to ridicule, doesn't the other parent have a right to have concerns about this? It may impact their child. I do not see that as being a horrible bully, or wrong, to be concerned about your UMs and what they maybe exposed to.

He gave her the opportunity to take all her stuff down... he could have just went to court with it.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/10/2007 9:00:52 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 27

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 9:16:37 AM

carlie310

Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline

FR--I am sorry for having derailed this into a CPS debate thread. My response in general is to hope that those who hold better opinions of CPS than I do are right, and I am wrong. But having met several people who had quite different experiences, my comments were mainly in hopes that the next time you see a CPS case on television, that you pause to think. Before this happened to my friends (and meeting others who have had through-the-looking-glass experiences with CPS), I would assume that there was something that needed to happen. Having friends get their child snatched from them in mid-winter, against the orders of the court, without needed medication or a coat. . .that did make me a little biased. This is one discussion that I genuinely hope that I am in the wrong in, because we would be better off to have a functioning system. I don't think it's so, at least in my state, but YMMV.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 28

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 9:23:38 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

The vanilla world only sees what is in black and white-or color now. To them, we appear to be porn in nature, abusive, and generally strange.
They have no idea of the art behind our movement; however, when a child is involved, I will say it time and time again, do not be involved in this.
For some it may work well, but the state officials will not see it that way.
Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to DeviantMasteruk)

Post #: 29

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 11:52:38 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

http://www.myspankingforum.com/showthread.php?t=936

Veronica Daniels is Veronica of The Spanking Couple. I know one of the models they employed, and she (the model) had nothing but great things to say about their professionality and care. Damn.

If you can't afford to be "out," well, you can't. But if you *can*, then consider telling your friends/family in a simple, no-nonsense way. Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is now a powerful organization, and ain't no reason people who happen to be straight but kinky should be under a 19th Century cloud of suspicion and fear.

This really pisses me off.

Having been the victim of "outing" in both my personal and professional life, I know just what a hassle it can be.

Before I was allowed to spend any time with my children once my ex and I had filed for divorce, the guardian ad litem for our children insisted that I undergo a psychosexual evaluation to prove that my "twisted nature" did not extend to molesting or being dominant to ums. My lawyer insisted that it be done twice...not just by the doctor picked and approved by the guardian ad litem and my ex's divorce attorney but by a doctor approved by my attorney. Oddly enough, it was found by both doctors that I was a "normal" human being who could enjoy relationships that were not D/s related and/or BDSM related.

Instead of allaying my wife's concerns and tempering her reaction to the divorce, it only seemed to fire her up. I have spent the last 8 years trying to live down all that has been said about me by her, her parents, her sisters. Repairing professional relationships and personal relationships. Another reason why I do not seek a playmate or a partner locally.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 30

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 1:44:48 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

Your comments struck home for me. My first ex would call CPS anytime he wanted something not outlined in the court papers and I wouldn't give it to him, he'd trump up charges to try to scare me into being more accomodating and he did it often.

The first time a social worker showed up at my house she demanded that I hand over my kids for her "source"(as they don't name the complainants) informed her that my child didn't have a winter coat and she'd talked to the child at school and was told by said child that she didn't have a coat. I refused and the cops were called to remove my children. Luckily the cops were more willing to see the coats that my child did have but didn't like wearing then the social worker was. I was allowed to keep my children. She did however try to convince me to sign paperwork admitting to my neglect using the guise that I could get government help if I admitted to being a bad parent.

So more calls came and went and for a while one particular social worker always got my case and was well versed on what was going on and so she'd do her checks as she was mandated to do but it was a mere formailty.

The once a new social worker came, now he didn't want immediate removal but he was certian that since I had such an extensive file that there must be something going on in the house and the other social worker was just too lazy to find the problem. He went door to door at the apartment complex asking all sorts of invasive questions about my sex life to the neighbors (a point to note, not only was I not in the lifestyle back then but I was celibate). When he finally came to interview me, he did it at my job first, making sure that my co-workers knew he was from CPS, then he did a home visit, late at night, after he got done with the gym and still in his exercise gear. His main interest was if I was having an affair with a married man-- which wouldn't matter as far as my kids were concerned if I was so long as their needs were met anyway.

The biggest problem I have with CPS is that they have free reign to act first and then question later. There have been law suits due to their hasty actions. One woman lost her kids for 6 weeks because of a mongloid spot on her son's back and the doctor was unavailable to verify it. Once the kids are taken away it takes longer to restore them if the claim was erronious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

I was reported to CPS once, when my 8yo UM wasnt even a year old yet. It wasnt for alternitive lifestyle stuff, but CPS came out, first to my place of work, then made a surprise visit to my daycare lady's house, then showed up at my house. There were ALOT of accusations. Mainly that it was winter and I had no heat or hot water, I handed the baby off to absolutly anyone who would watch him while I went out, and he had severe medical issues that I had allowed to go untreated for way too long. And well, I guess from the outside looking in, it may have looked tht way...but it pisses me off that my cousin (yea, the person who was supposed to be my only family and friend in a strange town) would turn me in like that without coming to me first for clarification. Anyway, after a very compleate investigation, they marked the case as unfounded and apologized for my trouble. Then filed a suit against my landlord for not fixing the heat and hot water issue.

BUT...that case will always be in my records...so if anyone else ever decided to file another case...the first thing they are gonna notice is that Im already on their records, and the CPS guy warned me that they take those things into consideration. Get enough reports, even unfounded reports, and they err on the side of caution and remove UMs anyway. Fuckers.

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

Post #: 31

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 3:04:16 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

I understand she was looking for a Colorado attorney. I tried the "contact us" button on their site but it was disabled. I have a referral for a very kink-friendly and adult-business knowlegable attorney in Colorado if someone is able to contact her. His name is A Thomas Elliott Jr. and I've known him for about 10 years. http://www.lawyers.com/athomaselliottjr/

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 32

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/10/2007 3:28:11 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: carlie310

FR--I am sorry for having derailed this into a CPS debate thread. My response in general is to hope that those who hold better opinions of CPS than I do are right, and I am wrong. But having met several people who had quite different experiences, my comments were mainly in hopes that the next time you see a CPS case on television, that you pause to think. Before this happened to my friends (and meeting others who have had through-the-looking-glass experiences with CPS), I would assume that there was something that needed to happen. Having friends get their child snatched from them in mid-winter, against the orders of the court, without needed medication or a coat. . .that did make me a little biased. This is one discussion that I genuinely hope that I am in the wrong in, because we would be better off to have a functioning system. I don't think it's so, at least in my state, but YMMV.

As I stated previously, I do believe there are horror stories that are true, I've witnessed a few. I don't believe, here at least, they are the norm. The problem is the system that we have in place is underfunded resulting in undereducated, overworked and undersupported people making important life decisions on behalf of families. I'm not sure how we address that. The states systems receive annual evaluations every year. Our state foster care system got a very low rating last year, as a result, the department, judges and politicians are looking at ways to revamp the system. The bottom line seems to always come down to money and how much is allocated for something that is very important but often underfunded.

I think it's important to note that while an ex may have some say in what happens with the children depending on how your divorce/custody decree is worded, that alone should not be controlling with regard to the government as whether they dislike your actions and whether your actions constitute a true risk for harm for the children are two different things. Adults do things all the time that may have risks; we smoke, we drink, we speed, we go mountain climbing, we bungee jump, we participate in bdsm...that alone shouldn't be an issue unless it effects the um's. Then again, how conservative your area is and which person you're dealing with whether it be judge, prosecutor or case worker/cps can determine how the definition of a risk of harm is interpreted.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to carlie310)

Post #: 33

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/11/2007 12:41:13 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the referral, Ms. Saskia. I now do have a way to pass on referrals, and it was most appreciated.

Anyone else with legal referrals in Colorado, please drop me a line on the other side and I will pass them on.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 34

RE: This really pisses me off! - 12/11/2007 12:51:34 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

... unless there is illegal activity going on it's highly unlikely that CPS would get involved.

Dark Blessings,
Z

boy have you got that one all wrong!

when my son was just an infant, the doctor accidentally wrote his weight down in metric instead of lbs. unbeknownst to me, since he was on medicaid and it was written on his health card wrong, this prompted CPS to load up their officials, along with a police officer, to drive to my house with a court order in hand, to remove my child for neglect. no one bothered to talk to the doctor, or myself about the error, or even to come and look at see that he was okay.

needless to say, they got one look at the baby, and realized their error, but it didn't erase the situation from happening all the same!

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)

Post #: 35

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: This really pisses me off!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109