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Wondering - 8/17/2005 3:47:44 PM

littleone35

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Joined: 2/17/2005
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I was wondering ond day i was scening with my late Master and i was not restrained (change of pace for us) ahd he was using his hands to get me going and he was not pressing down hard enough so i reached down and pressed his hand.

My question is is that condisered topping from the bottom? He never said anything but he seemed a little annoyed.

littleone

Post #: 1

RE: Wondering - 8/17/2005 3:52:27 PM

quietkitten

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From: Alberta, Canada
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It might be a good idea to talk to him about it. Basically, when you pressed down on his hands you may have been saying "You aren't doing what I want you to do" He gets to decide what he wants to do and may have felt that you were pushing your boundaries.

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RE: Wondering - 8/17/2005 3:56:33 PM

littleone35

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quietkitten it is kinda hard to talk to him. He is my late Master he died a year ago in May. Thank you for you response though.

littleone

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Post #: 3

RE: Wondering - 8/17/2005 3:58:25 PM

quietkitten

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From: Alberta, Canada
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I am so sorry.. I misread your post and apologize.

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Now what was I talking about again?

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RE: Wondering - 8/17/2005 4:19:22 PM

fastlane

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Yes, I think it is considered Topping from the bottom, in answer to your question.
I hope you are emotionally well at this time and wish the best for you!

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RE: Wondering - 8/17/2005 8:14:41 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was wondering ond day i was scening with my late Master and i was not restrained (change of pace for us) ahd he was using his hands to get me going and he was not pressing down hard enough so i reached down and pressed his hand.

My question is is that condisered topping from the bottom? He never said anything but he seemed a little annoyed.

littleone

If you'd had no discussions about it beforehand, then on the surface I'd say no. You weren't trying to SUBVERT anything he was doing to get your own way, you were helping him do what he wanted to do.

It sounds like you need to talk about it NOW and clear the air. He shouldn't have insecurities about learning your body, he should be able to say he's not psychic and you likely know your bodily responses better than he does at this point and use your information to help him.

IF you discuss this and he tells that you are not to engage without direction, and THEN you do it, then that would be considered trying to manipulate the situation. As it is I think you were just going with the moment.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 6

RE: Wondering - 8/18/2005 4:59:58 AM

fastlane

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E.S. how could she do that? A seance or perhaps a quiji board? she was referring to her Late Master.

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RE: Wondering - 8/18/2005 10:07:43 AM

plantlady64

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Hello There,
It's hard to say. Each Master has their own protocol, guidlines, likes, dislikes and opinions. To say if that was in your Master's opinion topping from the bottom you'd really have to ask him.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 8

RE: Wondering - 8/18/2005 11:12:11 AM

pet4mymaster

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Joined: 7/2/2005
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First off...i am sorry for your loss and hope you are doing well....and then for your question.....i feel it was topping fromt he bottom but only in a very small since... you were not trying to get him to do something he wasn't already doing you were just trying to get him to do it a little more than he was doing....so yes and no...not much help i know but thought i'd throw my 2 cents in to the hat here....again i am sorry for his passing and i hope you do well knowing that he will always be with you in your heart and memories

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RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 6:33:35 AM

littleone35

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Joined: 2/17/2005
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Thak you all for you responses. Fastlane i am doing ok now took a while and i know he is with me my gaurdian(sp) angel now.

Sometimes i do not realize i am topping from the bottom i know what fells good to me. I know it's what the Master wants not me and i always wanted to please him but, that was always theh hardest part for me takeing what he gave me which was not always what i wanted.

littleone.

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Post #: 10

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 7:07:42 AM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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At first glance I thought no I wouldn't see this as topping from the bottom, then I considered what my reaction would be if this was a male sub moving my hand? It would for sure earn him a punishment.

However again that would depend on circumstance. Was it a strict exchange where he knew not to move? Or was it a more erotic situation where him participating in the action so to speak would be considered a good thing?

I think you raise a valid issue/question and look forward to the responses. But on instinct, in this instance I would call it topping from the bottom. But I don't see it as a major drama or anything. Unless there were other factors, ie this was not the first time you had 'corrected' his technique or skill in someway.

Personally I don't mind topping from the bottom, it gives me a challenge, an opportunity for behaivour modification. If it had been me, and someone moving my hand annoyed me I would have teased them about their needs running away with them or berrated them for daring to tell a Mistress what to do. If it had really bothered me, ie I saw it as the sub acting out, pushing me to exert control over them...I might reserve mentioning it until after the scene and dishing out a punishment accordingly.

RIP for your loss.

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Post #: 11

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 7:50:05 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

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Joined: 8/18/2005
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quote:

littleone

In the future, I would verbalize my desire
for more pressure. A benevoloent Master
would want to know what pleases you.

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A Benevolent Master in Florida

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Post #: 12

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 8:39:29 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

My question is is that condisered topping from the bottom?

this slave would think so---and also this slave wouldn't think to tell Master--"oh, yeah, a little to the left", or "harder". Master is the one calling the shots. ALL of them.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 13

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 8:47:19 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

My question is is that condisered topping from the bottom?

this slave would think so---and also this slave wouldn't think to tell Master--"oh, yeah, a little to the left", or "harder". Master is the one calling the shots. ALL of them.

What about "Master if you're trying to get to my clit, it's about a half inch to the left?" Or do you just sit there and look at him blankly since he's not really touching anything? I certainly don't recommend faking it.

I find most doms want their subs to help them- not make them feel around blindly. But then I wouldn't become partners with someone who was so insecure about sexuality that they would have to make me feel bad because they aren't omniscient in bed.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 14

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 8:58:24 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

What about "Master if you're trying to get to my clit, it's about a half inch to the left?" Or do you just sit there and look at him blankly since he's not really touching anything?

He knows exactly where it is and needs no coaching--if He is trying to get to it, He finds it all on His own.

quote:

But then I wouldn't become partners with someone who was so insecure about sexuality that they would have to make me feel bad because they aren't omniscient in bed.

it isn't about being insecure about sexuality or about being omniscient in bed--this slave's body belongs to Him. If He wants to stroke a half inch to the left of this slave's clit instead of right on it, then so be it.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 15

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 9:21:37 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
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Hello Again,
In my first post I was very busy in my office and had not paid attention to the fact your Master had passed on. Sorry I said to ask Him, that was rude of me.
I ask my Master if he wanted me to tell him how I felt or hold my comments till we did our debriefing after scenes. He said he loved to have feedback while things were going on, as He's not a mind reader. He likes me to tell him what feels good, bad, or not really one way or the other. I'm welcome to help direct Him to all my hot spots any time I want to. He actually gets a little upset if I reserve my comments till later.

I also had another Dom who while flogging me kept wrapping the darn thing and was really stinging my ribs. I mentioned to Him that the pain was way bad from the flogger wrapping and he went nuts and gagged me.

I honestly don't think you were topping from the bottom, but again each Dom you play with will have their own opinion of what's acceptable or not. I just don't think any of us can give you the definitive answer you seek.

On another note I'm very happy to hear you think your deceased Master is your Guardian Angel now. I've always felt any of my loved ones that passed on were watching over me and protecting me also. I'm glad to see I'm not alone in this.

Good Luck Sweetie,
sub suzanne

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 16

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 9:22:18 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

it isn't about being insecure about sexuality or about being omniscient in bed--this slave's body belongs to Him. If He wants to stroke a half inch to the left of this slave's clit instead of right on it, then so be it.

To assume that every man will automatically know where all the parts are, where all the sensitive spots are and be able to manipulate them perfectly is a pretty false assumption.

I agree if the dom WANTS to do that, then go to town. But again, what if that's not what he wants? Do you just kinda lay there and do nothing? Or do you ask if you can make suggestions?

After all the posts we read about dominants wanting smart, bright, active subs, to suggest we just lay back and look dumb in bed doesn't make much sense. If a dom says "Don't say anything" or makes it clear that he wants no interference, that's one thing.

But I'd prefer to help him out, that's what I'm here for.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 17

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 9:39:38 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

To assume that every man will automatically know where all the parts are, where all the sensitive spots are and be able to manipulate them perfectly is a pretty false assumption.

this slave wasn't talking about every man, only Master. To assume that there is no communication going on is a false one as well. However, this slave isn't going to take it upon herself to direct His hand. If He asks, of course she will tell Him how she feels, but to take control of the situation by guiding His hand--no way. Master's pleasure is paramount.

quote:

to suggest we just lay back and look dumb in bed doesn't make much sense.

this slave never suggested laying back and looking dumb in bed. this slave does neither. this slave only commented that she would never think to take it upon herself to TELL Him, or GUIDE Him, or attempt to CONTROL Him, in the throes of lovemaking or not, what to do.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 18

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 9:49:17 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave wasn't talking about every man, only Master. To assume that there is no communication going on is a false one as well. However, this slave isn't going to take it upon herself to direct His hand. If He asks, of course she will tell Him how she feels, but to take control of the situation by guiding His hand--no way. Master's pleasure is paramount.

But that doesn't mean that directing the hand is topping from the bottom any more than just saying "an inch to the left is where its at"

quote:

this slave never suggested laying back and looking dumb in bed. this slave does neither. this slave only commented that she would never think to take it upon herself to TELL Him, or GUIDE Him, or attempt to CONTROL Him, in the throes of lovemaking or not, what to do.

But that doesn't mean it's topping from the bottom TO do so, only that it's not your particular style not to do so.

Communicating is not attempting to control, whether you communicate with your voice or with your hands.

Again, if the dom resisted the move and the sub still tried to move his hand, or if the dom had specifically told the sub not to do anything, then I would agree that it's topping from the bottom.

But, lacking that, I think it's just communicating and helping things along.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 19

RE: Wondering - 8/19/2005 9:58:51 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

Communicating is not attempting to control, whether you communicate with your voice or with your hands.

perhaps you missed the point. it is this slave's opinion, in her relationship with Master, that if she grabbed His hand and directed it, it would be, in her mind, an attempt to control what He was doing, and this slave wouldn't think to do it.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 20

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