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RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 1:34:34 PM

Posts: 787
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That's a terrific point. i also, think it comes from how a person is raised and whom they emulate. If a person is treated in a negative way or is around negative people all the time then they could just be passing on the only thing that they know.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 1:37:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

That's a terrific point. i also, think it comes from how a person is raised and whom they emulate. If a person is treated in a negative way or is around negative people all the time then they could just be passing on the only thing that they know.

The question still is: What is negative and who gets to define it? I see a lot of negative in your OP, but I'm sure you don't.

When you want to interact with people, you have to accept that their definations of what negative is are going to be different that yours. One person's blunt honesty is another person's cruelty, and neither are right or wrong.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 1:43:45 PM

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From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Do You feel that your subs behavior reflects on You? Sometimes i read posts more frequent than not where the subs ridicule, attack, insult, put others down, and are just so ugly and vulgar in what they write to those who do not deserve it and i was just wondering as a Dominant what is Your opinion about subs that do that? Besides the obvious they are immature and probably lonely and bitter. Would You mind if Your sub acted that way?

Yes, I believe a sub/slave is a reflection of the owner -in as much as ALL of our choices in the company we keep reflects on us, shows sides of us and our own beliefs.

If my sub/slave -or even a dominant friend or vanilla friend- had a habit of acting so, rather than just being annoyed in a certain conversation, I would not find them acceptable as a companion to me.

As I've used the example before, if I keep a close personal friend who is racist then I show the world that I am fine with their beliefs and accept them, in fact am endorsing them by willfully keeping this person close to me. I would not do so, because I am not racist and find racism abhorrent.

We all have times when we are cranky or a subject that gets us worked up on a particular day, but those who are very immature or cruel-natured are not people I wish to have close to me. And if I did, as with a personal slave, then that would absolutely reflect on me... just as with a racist.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 1:53:17 PM

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Very nicely put. there are so many great posts on this thread. Thanks everyone.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:11:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

How very true. i also believe that their behavior is one of the main reasons they are alone. Of course i am sure they won't agree with me for it's always the other person's fault.

How is this statement not rude?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:14:24 PM

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Sometimes i think that maybe i could be a positive influence on people that are racists. At least i give it a try, but you're right. i could never live with one or be good friends with one.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:16:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Do You feel that your subs behavior reflects on You?

Every dominant is going to have the exact submissive/slave that s/he desires based on their own abilities to lead. When a submissive or slave steps out of line in a way which is displeasing it is up to the dominant to correct that behavior. If such behavior goes uncorrected, then I would think it's safe to assume that such behavior falls in line with the dominants expectations.

quote:

Sometimes i read posts more frequent than not where the subs ridicule, attack, insult, put others down, and are just so ugly and vulgar in what they write to those who do not deserve it and i was just wondering as a Dominant what is Your opinion about subs that do that?

I think you will find that utilizing your block button will be quite a bit more effective than starting threads complaining (in the disguise of asking) about behavior that won't change simply due to the nature of, mostly, unmoderated message boards.

I am curious as to your thoughts on such behavior if you would deem a particular poster 'is' deserving of such treatment? It is okay in that instance?

quote:

Besides the obvious they are immature and probably lonely and bitter.

Do you feel this sentence added some sort of value or substance to your post? To me, it just makes you look bad and you would do well to steer clear of such projection. Pot, kettle, black, taken.

quote:

Would You mind if Your sub acted that way?

Perhaps you should ask that question of your Master and ask him if he minds it when you behave in that way? I'd be curious as to the answer.

Celeste

Agreed and great post Bita.

I'm sorry but the I'm better than you because I don't do it, IS DOING IT. The times I've see you mention being "mean" or "people getting hurt" OP have been incredibly mild posts and suggest you are taking the forums way too personally.
You cannot tell others how to post. It is not a reflection of their role and you don't win the submissive of the week award for thinking it is. The Mods here do a good job of moderating, you attempting to so by playing the alleged high card of I'm a better submissive isn't helpful.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:21:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Do You feel that your subs behavior reflects on You? Sometimes i read posts more frequent than not where the subs ridicule, attack, insult, put others down, and are just so ugly and vulgar in what they write to those who do not deserve it and i was just wondering as a Dominant what is Your opinion about subs that do that? Besides the obvious they are immature and probably lonely and bitter. Would You mind if Your sub acted that way?

I'd be disappointed; I wouldn't want her engaging in mindless, tit-for-tat exchanges, nor would I want her winding anyone up - that's my job.

It's a poor show if you can't keep her on the straight and narrow in public, and it's a reflection on her other half.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:24:37 PM

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Mine does that too. He is very polite, i would stick out like a sore thumb if i didn't act accordingly.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to girlygurl)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:26:38 PM

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NG as I understand it, we are not talking about public.we are taking about an online forum. How does someones response here indicate any level of submission?

Jeff

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:30:26 PM

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Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I respect him by conducting myself in a way that he finds appropriate and pleasing. This does not mean I can not express my opinions, or that I can not have opinions that differ from his

Amen to that, ownedgirlie. I couldn't agree more. For me, it also does not mean that I can't be assertive with others or that everyone else has to be pleased by what I say and do. As long as He is, that's what matters. Fortunately, most times He and they can all be happy with me. If not, He wins out

.

quote:

So it is likely safe to say a submissive's conduct is influenced by his/her Dominant, but not necessarily a direct reflection of him

Very true..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:33:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

How very true. i also believe that their behavior is one of the main reasons they are alone. Of course i am sure they won't agree with me for it's always the other person's fault.

How is this statement not rude?

Because she's the one who said it so it doesn't count, silly!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:33:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

NG as I understand it, we are not talking about public.we are taking about an online forum. How does someones response here indicate any level of submission?

Jeff

I'm assuming a man wants his woman to apply good manners in public.

As far as I'm concerned, other people in the vicinity = public.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:33:58 PM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Mine does that too. He is very polite, i would stick out like a sore thumb if i didn't act accordingly.

Guess what? You're sticking out like a sore thumb.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:36:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

NG as I understand it, we are not talking about public.we are taking about an online forum. How does someones response here indicate any level of submission?

Jeff

I'm assuming a man wants his woman to apply good manners in public.

As far as I'm concerned, other people in the vicinity = public.

Is criticising others for being critical constantly good behavior? Is telling other people that are submissive they aren't submissive enough according to your standards good behavior? Would you support your submissive in that quest? Would you support your submissive as a new member in a group to insult others before watching the group dynamic and understanding what was really happening? Would you support your submissive if they got their feelings hurt on every post with even a hint of conflict in it? Would you chose a submissive with no sense of humor?
I kind of doubt it.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:40:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

I'm assuming a man wants his woman to apply good manners in public.

As far as I'm concerned, other people in the vicinity = public.

This is public?..the same place where half the people doubt if the other half is real? where anyone can be anything they want?. This is not public, this is entertainment mixed in with a bit of learning and sharing.

However even if i concede the point. Who is to say that any response given here does not refelct well upon that persons Dom....or sub? Who knows really? to assume a sarcastic post is not wanted by anothers S.O. is silly

Jeff

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:44:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Is criticising others for being critical constantly good behavior? Is telling other people that are submissive they aren't submissive enough according to your standards good behavior? Would you support your submissive in that quest? Would you support your submissive as a new member in a group to insult others before watching the group dynamic and understanding what was really happening? Would you support your submissive if they got their feelings hurt on every post with even a hint of conflict in it? Would you chose a submissive with no sense of humor?
I kind of doubt it.

In a nutshell, I wouldn't want her getting caught up in tit-fot-tat exchanges on a message board because it's wasted energy; the insults would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:47:56 PM

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Ok, tha goes back to the OP. I . on the other hand. enjoy a quick wit and a clever phrase. It would in fact be a deal breaker for me if a woman was not capable of such.

Jeff

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:50:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

to assume a sarcastic post is not wanted by anothers S.O.

Jeff

Correct. There's no accounting for taste.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Behavior - 12/16/2007 2:50:15 PM

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Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Yes, I think a submissive's behavior is a reflection of his/her owner, however, I also think the owner is in some ways a reflection of the sub, since we tend to flock to those who are much like ourselves.

At any rate, you can't assume that every dominant/master/owner whatever, is tactful and gracious--some are not---and they are usually with a submissive who is similar.

I really don't see a whole lot of this ridicule and attack that you refer to, except when people vehemently disagree and they get carried away insulting one another etc.,

What I do see a lot of is personal issues and drama being brought to the boards, which to me always makes the participants look foolish. Anytime I see this behavior, I always see it as an indication that both the sub and master lack good judgement and self-control. Best to just skip over it and move on to a more productive discussion.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

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