Self esteem

Self esteem (Full Version)

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ligar59 -> Self esteem (12/31/2007 1:53:41 PM)
During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem. Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship Would you... 1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not 2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not???

meticulousgirl -> RE: Self esteen (12/31/2007 1:57:50 PM)
Itall depends on the scenereo and how bad each particular person in question is. Some Doms prefer to have a doormat, with low self esteem so they can kick them around and the slave thinks that "that is just how it's suppose to be". Other Doms do their best to try to get to the root of whatever the problem may be at the root of the sub / slave's emotions that causes them to be so down on themselves. Not all of us are analysts even though many of us try to be. Like i said it just depends on the scenereo and not every case is the same. ~meticulous~

ligar59 -> RE: Self esteen (12/31/2007 2:01:01 PM)
And yes, I do know about the typo's, just couldn't find out how to fix them

mnottertail -> RE: Self esteen (12/31/2007 2:02:50 PM)
enit yur postt, it was on the top rigth of the post isselve. Ron eddited for splling errors.

dcnovice -> RE: Self esteen (12/31/2007 2:03:28 PM)
quote: And yes, I do know about the typo's, just couldn't find hout how to fix them For a while (an hour maybe?) after you post, an EDIT button will appear next to the others on the right side atop your message. Being a lousy typist myself, I resort to it often.

came4U -> RE: Self esteen (12/31/2007 2:07:55 PM)
quote: Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteen issues before going into the relationship Would you... 1-Come in on your white horse and say the day or?... why or why not 2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Whay or why not??? wow, I would hope that if a Dom takes on such a person that they do as they promised and not do a sorry, half-ass job of aiding that person and just gives up. If the dom knows going into it that it will be a long haul then why should he demand escape so easily. Was his promise then revoked because the submissive still could not be 'fixed'? I would call that Dominant a whimpy coward who was in it for the cheap thrills and sex. If so, he should have specified that from the get-go. The sub might be worse off after the fact than before this guy showed up.

ligar59 -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 2:08:06 PM)
thanks, found it

mnottertail -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 2:10:42 PM)
if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done. I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating. Ron

came4U -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 2:17:30 PM)
he found the letter M? yay tomorrow's lecture: use of underscores, commas and numbers.

girlygurl -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 2:19:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done. I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating. Ron Ha! Casper's typing is invisible! [:D] girly

CalifChick -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:04:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating. Sweetie, it's CASPER, not Caspar. The ghostly dude realllly needs to be able to spell his own name, oui? Cali

celticlord2112 -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:30:29 PM)
quote: Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship Would you... 1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not 2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not??? Neither. If I take a woman as a slave, however, I make it a point to give praise and punishment in proper measure, with a goal towards always raising her self-esteem, regardless of where it lies overall.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:33:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ligar59 During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem. Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship Would you... 1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not 2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not??? No white horse and shining armor, just a tin hat and a mule. But I did everything I could to raise my former sub's self-esteem. She had issues about being being overweight and being naked in front of me. I continually told her how lovely she looked. Know why? I meant it! Les (Purveyor of Fine New Years Kink)

hisannabelle -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:36:01 PM)
greetings ligar, he does neither. he doesn't coddle me, he doesn't go find someone else who's more confident. he just supports me in my efforts to be a whole person, and teaches me that it's my own damn responsibility. ;) annabelle.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:36:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating. Sweetie, it's CASPER, not Caspar. The ghostly dude realllly needs to be able to spell his own name, oui? Cali Yeah. "Caspar" was one of the Three Wise Men. Or was it the Three Stooges? Maybe the Three Amigos. Hell, I know his name from somewhere![sm=biggrin.gif] Les (Purveyor of Fine New Years Kink)

dawntreader -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 3:42:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done. I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating. Ron i pay attention to what you say - you are just so all over the place on these forums, i can't keep up with you! LOL!

batshalom -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 4:28:00 PM)
There are "white horse" Doms, sure. The only problem is that the sub has to undertake the work - it's not something anyone can magically "fix". If the sub isn't willing to do her (lion's) share of healing then self-esteem will always be an issue. A Dom worth his salt (and maturity), if he is into "fixing" subs, will make her strong enough to withstand being without him. If she has self-esteem only when she is with him or under his influence, and if she isn't strong enough to be without him, then the issue is still there brewing under the surface. If he doesn't make her that strong, and if it makes him feel better to think he's really fixed her, but if she's only got self-esteem when she's under his influence, no foul I guess; but it's doing a grave disservice to the person he agreed to guide.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 4:38:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ligar59 During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem. Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship Would you... 1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not 2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not??? Neither, saving someone never actually works and I don't just pass someone by because of flaws. It really depends on how/how much they are fucked up and how well we find ourselves to be compatible. In good relationships I find everyone helps "save" eachother on a regular basis- Ms is irrelevant.

Rushemery -> RE: Self esteem (12/31/2007 6:37:57 PM)
I agree you cant save anyone, you can support them in all ways mentioned above but they have to do it themselves, give them things that they do well, walk on egg shells so you dont hurt their feelings but its still up to them, Im going to have to say if their really broken best bet is to only involve yourself to the point of getting them help otherwise you may just end up with a broken heart wondering what you could have done different and end up needing help yourself, that maybe harsh but...

Noah -> RE: Self esteem (1/1/2008 5:59:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dawntreader quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I got alotta typing errors in my shit ... i pay attention to what you say - you are just so all over the place on these forums, i can't keep up with you! LOL! I say totally pay attention. Anyone who shits typing errors is gonna be worth watching, in my book.

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