RE: oral sex (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

YourhandMyAss -> RE: oral sex (1/2/2008 11:43:52 PM)

Perhaps he has anger management issues.



DefiantFlower -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 12:16:11 AM)

I agree with everyone else...the relationship dynamics of the people involved...that's what determines submission or dominance. Not a single act. I for one absolutely LOOOOVE receiving oral. It is a favorite of mine, though I consider it more of a treat. I've certainly learned not to expect it, but the hope is always there.

But seriously though...lying back, commanded not to move, not even to raise or grind my hips or grip the sheets beside me, forcing me to contain the pleasure that's flowing through me...without any say in the matter...to the brink of orgasm over and over? That's totally submissive. Just because I'm enjoying myself doesn't mean I'm the one in control.



MissMagnolia -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 12:16:36 AM)

Perhaps the last time he did it, it was like sucking on a herring that had been left in the sun for the day.



deliciousmorsel -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 12:34:27 AM)

Ok, if I may be a freak and reference the larger world, This is probably NOT a Dom/sub issue. Some men- That's men, in general, including Leather, vanilla, purple Martians, ect.- love cunnilingus. Some men absolutely positively will not do it, either they just hate it hate it or perhaps don't know how, so they hate it..
Sulking and putting it into a Lifestyle Thing gets him off the hook for hating to do it. It's not submissive at all- given that a man who gives great head can have ANY woman, OK almost any woman, completely and mindlessly in his power. I'd call that pretty darn Dominant.



Jeffff -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 5:36:46 AM)

Tie a woman to the bed....and go down on her till she trys to wiggle away...till her clit hurts.......till she passes out......and tell me thats not control and power. Intention is everything!

Oral Redenbacker



ares12 -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 5:42:54 AM)

Yeah I admit it scares me a bit but if I knew that my sub enjoyed I would give to her as a treat or if she hated it I would use differently... Basically what everone has said I could repeat but I can't be stuff



Rover -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 6:52:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

Do You consider oral sex a submissive act?


Personally, no... not at all. 

quote:


I asked my master to and he said no because it is a submissive act. When I asked him why he thought that he got mad and stopped talking to me. I want to understand why he thinks that, but he wont discuss it with me. Please enlighten me.


That is a case you must plead with your Master.  None of us can possibly know what he is thinking.  There is no enlightenment here.
 
John



Taboo4Two -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 7:04:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

When I asked him why he thought that he got mad and stopped talking to me.


The easy answer is what everyone else has already said. No act in and of itself is submissive or dominant unless context is applied.

Not to be snarky, but personally, I'd want him to answer the question as to why he acted like a petulant child when you asked him the question in the first place.

Domino



Seawolf3465 -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 7:17:35 AM)

1. Check the personal hygeine.
2. If number 1 is ok, then you have to look at the male.
If he hates it then that is why he probably is so negative on it. 
3. Like someone said he might have gotten ahold of a bad one and left him with a bad taste for it!
4. If he acted that way with your question, Kick him in the fanny and say Nexxxxxxxtttt and look up a new one.
5. If he won't do it and you won't kick him to the curb then ya gotta deal with it. 
6. Or maybe he really really prefers giving blowjobs!! 



KatyLied -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 7:19:07 AM)

quote:

There is no enlightenment here.


But we are good for mass speculation.  We live for it!



kinkypuppy2 -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 7:55:10 AM)

Definately not a submissive act in itself. The attitude of those participating can make it so , or not



CalifChick -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 9:00:38 AM)

I think I just found a hard limit... denial of receiving oral sex is a hard limit.

I just couldn't be with someone who refused, or just tolerated it.  I want enthusiasm!!  And talent!!  Oral sex is too essential to, well, I was going to say "my sex life", but it's so much MORE than that.

Cali



Phin -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 12:22:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I think I just found a hard limit... denial of receiving oral sex is a hard limit.
I think we need to get CM to add that to the list...




meticulousgirl -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 12:46:00 PM)

it depends on the situation, i dont think it's a submissive act but, i know for a fact that many Doms will not do it.....it does just depend on who all is involved and the situation.

~meticulous~



Focus50 -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 1:01:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

Do You consider oral sex a submissive act? If so why? I asked my master to and he said no because it is a submissive act. When I asked him why he thought that he got mad and stopped talking to me. I want to understand why he thinks that, but he wont discuss it with me. Please enlighten me.
Thank you.

It's not the physical act that is or isn't submissive so much as taking the time to set the right headspace for your submissive.  Intercourse doggy-style is mostly a very dominant way of taking a female but I'm sure there's many a Domme who enjoys sex this way, too!  It just needs a little tinkering with the sub's mind....
 
Now for me, I don't actually get a lot out of oral sex as a sexual act per se'; in fact, I can do without.  But as an act of exerting domination over the girl, I can think of no stronger expression of power over another.  In a physical sense, that generally means anytime my cock is in the girl's mouth, either her hands are tied behind or she's expressly forbidden to touch.  I once had a sub whine that she needed to also use her hands in order to give me "the best possible blow job" etc, so she got some education on how contradictory that is to me - that it's about *power*, NOT sexual release.
 
To the OP's specific problem - it's that your Dom is unable or unwilling to get his mind or yours where it needs to be.  "Eating pussy" is "undominant" to him - end of story!  In wanting to discuss it further with him, you're challenging both his manhood and "domhood" (lol) - hence he naturally gets angry. 
 
Sorry, but such an insecurity it gonna be tough to get around if he won't even discuss it....  Perhaps showing him this thread?
 
Focus.



KnOcala -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 1:07:02 PM)

the act can be done with way.  I can tease and control a female tied up or just commanded not to move and would consider it a dominate act, likewise I could be forced to perform oral sex and it would be a submissive act.  It is the possition of the person performing the act if its being used either way.  Or it ,ay not be being used either way, just a sexual act for pleasure.    



agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 2:25:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I think it's men who do not enjoy such an act who tend to think this way.



Yuppers...me too!!!  He sounds like he's pussy-eatin-phobic. 



masterlink65 -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 2:49:12 PM)

if a dom says, lie down so i can eat your pussy, or so i can suck your cock. the dom has given an order and shown dominance.

when the dom calls the shots, the dom is dominating. the minute you tell your dom to eat your pussy or suck you cock, then you have entered 'topping from the bottom'.

but if the dom wants to think that way, they are  missing out on some sexual fun. i enjoy a variety of sex acts with my slaves, all performed with me as top.

and if he feels this way and will not talk about it with you, then i think you should find another person to eat you pussy or suck your cock.  i do not see performing oral as being submissive, if i like to do it, and i am not being told, or forced to do it.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 2:58:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434
When I think of head, my immediate conception of it is submissive, although I can think about it and see it from the other angle. I can easily see oral on a woman being dominant. Thoughts?

If I go down on Fox, he is ususally bound and I like making him squirm. There is NOTHING submissive about how I do it.

If you Master thinks of it as a submissive act there is the possibility that he has been told this for as long as he has been active. At 59, thats a long time to be told X, Y or Z is submissive and then decide to fly in the face of that and just do it becasue you want to. It might not be mature, but he might not know why, exactly, aside from "well, tats what it has always been." 

Depending on when the question was asked, how, what lead to it... and whether or not he was already having a bad day elsewhere... lots could have added to his response.  Was it mature or proper, no. But he is human and even Masters have off days. You might want to consider asking him to have a talk about what acts he believes to be submissive, versus what he believes to be dominant. That way, you will be able to avoid aother potentialy volitile situation. No use trying to make him change his opinions this late in the game, but at least youd have a heads up on what might spark a confrontaton like this again.

My 2 cents.

DV



ksub4u -> RE: oral sex (1/3/2008 3:01:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

No girlie I was not being confrontational I had asked what I thought was a simple question. Let me tell you I WONT be asking that again.  Thank you for trying to answer my question and trying to help me understand.


I think this is the true problem here.  It is important to be allowed to communicate your questions, concerns, issues, etc. clearly and respectfully and, in turn, receive a response which makes sense to you.  I suppose a 'we'll discuss this later' is possible or 'because I say so' would be an acceptable response on occasion, in response to an inquiry which is very important to you, I'd think your Dom would have your best interests at heart and would strive to answer your questions satisfactorily (whether you'd agree with his reasoning or not).



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125