What's up with the word Switch ????

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What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:27:12 AM

GoddessTeaze

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Why is the word switch a bad thing?

I often read here on the board, that No they aren't

a switch.. but they do top or bottom..

I've read storys that switches we're told

to chose, and quit messing around...

I've spoken to switches who had a problem with switching

because who would have respect for him agian when he would

want to Dominate again.

It just amazes Me that there are so many

opinions about switches,

but so many arent good.

(no petpete this isn't about you flicking your willy)

What is Yyour opinion ?

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:37:17 AM

GentleLee

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Personally I have the feeling that switch means indecision. Indecision leads to insecurity or sometimes not taking things serious. Which all three in "the lifestyle" are bad. So switches must be bad.
This is what was drummed into me meticulously when I started out in "the lifestyle" and I still have issues with admitting that I switch.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:53:52 AM

GoddessTeaze

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Arent we all insecure at one point?

I know Im. Arent Dominants ever Insecure,

Don't they make mistakes? Just because they are human, and humans do make mistakes? It seems that Dominants have to be 'perfect' , Because they know where they stand..

or is that another mith?

But I live and learn, and grow further.

That's how it works in life, so what has a switch

for disadvantage?

Why not be proud to have found out that you can do both sides, and b happy?

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 3:49:20 AM

petpete

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i personally think that a switch has the best of both worlds?? Or is it??? On the other hand i will be controversial and say that sitting on the fence is not the place to be... One can only be what they are!! They can only have one heart and one identity!! Having said that i am probably not what i claim to be either... Cheers folks.. ( i also maybe insulting some of my best friends!!!)

< Message edited by petpete -- 1/4/2008 3:52:18 AM >

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 4:10:18 AM

mscheveous

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Switch can be used when a person has a desire to control a scene be the top.
There is nothing too greedy about wanting to feel what one administers to another either, being bottom.

Top, bottom, switch in my opinion are about controlling the scene that one is in.
I believe, that being a top or bottom really indicates there is not a need to own another.
That the understanding of that responsibility is grasped and in order not to confuse those seeking to be owned.

Now mind you switches can own each other if that is their desire.

Does it really matter to you if you are not a switch. If learning and understanding is your desire, ask a switch.
Don't judge what you do not understand.. that really is what ignorance is.... smiles toppishly...

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 5:26:12 AM

GoddessTeaze

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Judging is indeed too easy to do, and it's ignorant.

I agree with You mscheveous.

But people still do that.

I wonder why..

Thanx for your lovely first thread,

And I do wish you a good time here on the forum.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 5:47:48 AM

slavegirljoy

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Fast Reply:

BDSM is Bondage&Discipline/Sadomasochism. Some people enjoy both sadism and masochism and they do both. They 'switch' between being the giver and being the receiver of pain. Some enjoy both being bound by someone and also binding another. They 'switch' between the two.

Not everyone includes Dominance/submission into BDSM. Some do, but not all. For many, there isn't any power exchange involved in their BDSM activities. It's simply a matter of experiencing the sensations of being bound and receiving pain or binding another and inflicting pain. Neither one is Dominant over the other. They are simply sharing the experience as equals. Some people like to be on the receiving end, at times, and then, on the giving end, at times.

Just like there are many couples who enjoy sex, being on top and then, switching places, and being on the bottom. That doesn't mean that they are "on the fence" or trying to decide anything about their sexuality. They just like to change places. The one on top isn't 'in charge' of the other. They are simply enjoying being the 'rider', while the one on the bottom enjoys being the 'ridee' and they are both enjoying 'the ride' together and they will sometimes take turns between being the rider and the 'ridee'.

Then again, some people do enjoy 'taking charge' sometimes and being the Dominant one, and other times, being the submissive one and letting the other one be in charge. They like to switch places, not because they can't decide whether they are Dominant or submissive but, just because they enjoy both experiences.

What's wrong with that? There isn't anything indecisive about switching. They just like to experience the different sensations and aspects that switching places gives them.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 6:31:59 AM

BiteGirl

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You're one of those c/Capitals people... Bloody hell, they're everywhere! Even on the SWITCH board!

I think opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. I also think it's complete BS to stop being who you are and to "make up your mind" would you say that to a bisexual? Well, you probably would.

I think we should make two forums "forum FOR switches" and "forum for OTHER PEOPLE to BITCH about switches".

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 7:35:56 AM

oliderid

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As a switch too, I guess we are a bit "aliens" for those in the scene looking for a long-term D/S relationship.
somes try so hard (too hard) to be a caricature of themselves IMHO.

For me: Switch means that you take it as a game, period. Pleasure & fun. You are curious and you try explore everything.
Life is too short to limit yourself. you have a tendency of course, but nothing is black or white.

Some very serious players ;-) get confused. It shows them how relative this D/S game can be.
They have difficulties to accept it.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 9:01:16 AM

ViceVersa

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I think it's an extension of those who buy/sell the "True/Real" Dom or "True/Real" Sub crap. People trying to put you into a box - not that there's anything wrong with that ;-) - to feel secure about themselves. It's like politics - you're either a red-stater or a blue-stater and you can't be something cool like a libertarian. "Are you with us or ag'in us." I don't take those types seriously. The people I respect in kink don't seem to have an issue with switching.

Vice

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 9:13:31 AM

MistressNoName

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We who identify as bi have the same trouble, so G-d forbid we be bi-switches as well. Like the poster right after you says, people get caught up on this issue of indecision. But what people don't seem to understand, that it's not about decision. The way you are IS the way you are. If you like both side of the whip, you just like both sides of the whip. The only time desicion comes into play is when you make the decision to act on your feelings in any way.

Also, people tend to have weird misunderstandings about switches as they have about bis and that is that switches are constantly switching back and forth in a scene and that switches cannot make adequate Tops or bottoms and definitely not legitimate Masters/Mistresses (try to tell Lady Catherine that...whatever). People fail to take into consideration that every person has a right to define themselves as they understand themselves and that most of us don't fit comfortably into any one mold.

I personally identify as a Dominant Switch, but that is not one of the choices on CM. Whenever I talk to a boy about this, in the beginning there is nervousness because they automatically (and incorrectly) assume that at some point I will want them to Top me. I nip that in the bud really early because I want people to know me for me, not for whatever preconceived notion they may have of people who identify as I do.

There is room enough in this world for everyone. Even switches.

MNN

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 10:06:26 AM

RCdc

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To me, 'a switch' is an orientation (mental). Like dominant, submissive, sadist etc.
Topping or bottoming is an action - physical, so I would not define anyone who does that under the wishes of another as a switch. I will top for Darcy, but that doesn't make me the dominant party, simply topping, with all the enjoyment that brings. It's still a service. So for me to be called a switch would be totally misleading as whatever action I am doing, I am still mentally and emotionally submitting.

the.dark.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 11:15:03 AM

Mercnbeth

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What is Yyour opinion ?

that the overwhelming majority of folk, regardless of the label they attatch to themselves, switch (either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually) on a daily basis...depending on which person(s), relationship(s) or situation(s) they are interacting with.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 1:42:23 PM

mscheveous

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A switch does not mean you have to switch in play with the same person. There are no fast rules to what makes a switch. If people could just go with the flow than rather label and create expectations on life. It would be a better experience for all.

It is true that some like to power exchange amongst themselves and if that is what works for them. Go for it.
I personally do not. But then I am not your average bear eh booboo.

Everyone has a different physical and emotional make up to what makes them tick... and tock... smiles

msch

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:08:49 PM

MasterDoug48

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I think everyone should just calm down a little, your all getting very jumpy are the word the word "SWITCH" to be honest and frank with you all. We all know the definition of the word in BDSM, let me give the true definition as in a dictionary Switch,swich n A small flexible twig or rod; a moveable rail at junctions; a device for changing the the course of an electric current; To strike with a switch; to shunt Now may I suggest you all go away and think if this word truly applies to any of you. I will be more than prepared to discuss this further if anyone wants to.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:22:22 PM

oliderid

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Vice I totally agree

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:31:55 PM

beargonewild

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For many people who consider the term "switch" a negative thing, why not use the term "versatile?"
When someone identifies as a switch, I liken it to a person who sometimes likes a cold beer and sometimes they desire a glass of wine. That analogy may not be the best yet it does seem appropriate to understand someone who identifies as a switch.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 2:39:20 PM

oliderid

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quote:

I think everyone should just calm down a little, your all getting very jumpy

it must be my broken English but I fail to see where people are overeacting? Coul you explain how did you jump to that conclusion?

quote:

a Switch,swich n A small flexible twig or rod; a moveable rail at junctions; a device for changing the the course of an electric current; To strike with a switch; to shunt

I will never become an electrical device, I hate electrical play.

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 3:05:37 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDoug48

I think everyone should just calm down a little, your all getting very jumpy are the word the word "SWITCH" to be honest and frank with you all. We all know the definition of the word in BDSM, let me give the true definition as in a dictionary Switch,swich n A small flexible twig or rod; a moveable rail at junctions; a device for changing the the course of an electric current; To strike with a switch; to shunt Now may I suggest you all go away and think if this word truly applies to any of you. I will be more than prepared to discuss this further if anyone wants to.

I would suggest if we are going to go by the 'real' definition of anything, you would not be 'a dominant' then by your way of using definitions. And seriously, if you want to have a discussion about the 'semantics' of the written word, I'm your gal.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 1/4/2008 3:22:59 PM >

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RE: What's up with the word Switch ???? - 1/4/2008 3:27:13 PM

SubbieOnWheels