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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

That is really my point to the OP, this is so common, it is unbelievable.

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ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

That is really my point to the OP, this is so common, it is unbelievable.

When my OB/GYN was explaining how prevalent HPV is, she said that the next time I'm at the checkout at the supermarket during a busy time, take a look around: 3 out of 4 people standing in line with you have had or are having an outbreak of HPV.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

That is really my point to the OP, this is so common, it is unbelievable.

When my OB/GYN was explaining how prevalent HPV is, she said that the next time I'm at the checkout at the supermarket during a busy time, take a look around: 3 out of 4 people standing in line with you have had or are having an outbreak of HPV.

I asked my friend if she warned her prospective partners that she has contracted the virus that causes genital warts... she said she did not see a reason to as her doctor told her it was "taken care of" when he froze her cervix and after her next pap smear 6 months later came back normal he told her they "got all the infected area". I have not seen anything contradicting this, but now I wonder if her doctor was full of crap.

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ORIGINAL: EponasChylde

HPV is usually not serious, and most strains neither cause cancer nor warts. They estimate that about 80% of women carry it, most of which have no knowledge.

It's not strictly an STD, is highly treatable, and in some cases completely disappears of it's own accord. It's nothing like Herpes or AIDs, etc. The majority of people who carry the virus show absolutely no systems others than abnormal papsmears.

I can promise you that if you have been very sexually active at all, you mostly certainly HAVE come in contact with the virus in one of it's forms. It's very, very common.

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ORIGINAL: burningdesires47

OK, so I'm interested in this girl, but she has HPV. I know darn well you can get that no matter how careful you are (short of a full rubber body suit), and in fact she had it before she was sexually active--so my issue here is not feeling that she is somehow unsafe in her sexual practices.

Reality is, I refuse to have sex with someone in a full rubber body suit. My interest in women necessitates lack of barriers, or else I have no desire to participate. Even realizing that 80% of women will have HPV eventually, I'd kinda rather do what I can to stay in that 20%, and yes I've gotten the HPV vaccine.

I like her, a lot, and we've become amazing friends over the last almost-year we've known each other. She really likes my fiance who feels the same, we're all interested in playing together. But I'm afraid that if I gave in, I would not be able to relax and enjoy myself. And if I allowed him to play with her, I'd never be able to bring myself to sleep with him again. Not exactly a healthy start to a marriage.


How do I get over this fear? How do I tell her I'm not interested in being more than friends, or else how do I convince myself it's OK since I'm likely to get HPV eventually anyway? Or maybe there are other options I'm not considering?

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ORIGINAL: vtviceversa

I find this particular topic really confusing.

First, getting good sources of information is tricky - google it, and notice that more than a few of them are .... three guesses? the Drug Companies!

Second, HPV is so prevalent that it almost seems a given. That's not to say "just be careful" but rather, figure out how to make a decision you can live with.

Third, men have no options. There's no reliable test, and no treatment. So... since the stats are high, does that mean that 50% of the male population should never have genital sex again??? That's sure gonna be popular!

The way I resolved this... I read as much as I could. I talked to my partners (the one actually brought it to me). I realized that short of total celibacy, there was always a chance I would be a problem somewhere down the road. So, I talk to partners. I encourage women to get tested (because they can and it can save their lives). I am on the fence about the vaccine in middle schools (long debate there!). I always play safe, at least as safe as possible (I rarely have intercourse). I pay attention to my own body.

I also have the feeling that, esp. for women, the mental toll is huge - a culturally imposed set of values that automatically equates HPV with "unclean" - and that is hard to overcome. Being close and caring and ignoring that is one way to at least try and help there.

If you had not mentioned the fibro, I guess I would say enjoy, be safe, get the vaccine, get tested. But, the fibro certainly alters your life equation, and that decision is something you will have to figure out.