Safe Word

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parttimehotty -> Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:42:33 PM)
i was just sititng here, reading & i started to wonder how many subs/slaves use that safe word at the 1st sign of pain, or if they use it for what it's intended for, what's that breaking point? Subs/slaves: How far do you have to go before you cry out the safe word? Masters/Mistresses: When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more? That he/she's just being a wus? You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more. Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up?

wisteriaV -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:45:27 PM)
Sorry no safe words here. I guess we have been together long enough where Master knows me.

daddyncherry -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:49:34 PM)
We don't use them either, and honestly, i don't think i could use it even if i thought i needed it...it just doesn't occur to me or isn't part of us....i can tell him if something is wrong but that is mostly it....Using a safeword would be like taking a "timeout" and i don't believe in those.

RCdc -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:52:27 PM)
We do not use safewords. the.dark.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:53:59 PM)
We do not use them.

barefootprincess -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 3:54:19 PM)
I actuaully believe safewords are computer generated. Safeword: Its a fairy tail word to lure.

RCdc -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:01:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie We do not use them. Is there an echo?[:D] the.dark.

loverly -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:05:16 PM)
WHY would You play with someone You needed a safeword with? would that mean that you dont know them at all or very good? after trust is established and a Master/Mistress knowstheir property.... i would imagin they can be trusted to know you well enough to be able to tell.. if not.. theres something wrong..i believe that safewords were put into use in the clubs back in the day when leathermen used to go there to play at S&M games casually with strange partners and they needed a way to let the person know to stop! just me thoughts...

Honsoku -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:05:21 PM)
Not everyone uses safe-words. If the safe-words aren't being used only when something has gone, or is going, wrong, then it undermines the purpose of having one. How far a submissive/slave will go is not something that can be put down easily (it's like asking how intelligent are you?) and can vary wildly from day to day. If the dominant continues after the safe-word has been called, then either a massive violation of trust has occurred, or the "safe-word" isn't being used as a safe-word. A safe-word is supposed to be the call for "Stop NOW, something is, or is going, wrong".

tricia -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:08:55 PM)
my Master and i don't "scene" and we do not use safewords. But -- a quick story -- i played with a very nice couple a few times. The first time i 'scened' he gave me a little red ball i was too drop if it got too intense, painful, etc. There were certain points when i felt myself rubbing that ball, circling it with my hand, screaming to myself that i should drop it -- and i was unable to. I was very lucky as it seemed i would reach that point and soon after he would stop what he was doing and move on to something else. My point, i guess, is that safewords are only as good as the people using them. And i'm a dangerous play partner.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:13:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie We do not use them. Is there an echo?[:D] the.dark. Apparently! Apparently! Apparently!.....

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:16:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tricia my Master and i don't "scene" and we do not use safewords. We do however, have a number code that i am to use if i ever need him or i am introuble and he is not there.

SassySarijane -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:16:53 PM)
I don't use safewords. Don't need them and do much better without them.

Kalista07 -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:21:50 PM)
sigh Well........We don't "scene" and we don't "play"....We've talked about safewords in the past...i'm not sure i see the relevance in them...Because previously when i played with a couple, i had long passed my breaking point and did not utter my safeword...Why? i was afraid to let them down....Like Tricia said, i guess i'm a dangerous play partner.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:39:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty Masters/Mistresses: When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more? That he/she's just being a wus? You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more. Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up? I gave my former sub two safewords for impact play: "Yellow" meant please slow down and let me recover a bit and "Red" meant STOP now. Yeah, kinda lame, but they worked for us and were easy for her to remember in the heat of the moment. Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:44:10 PM)
I don't use a safe word myself. And I cry out at the first point it hurts because it hurts and I don't like it- unless I've been ordered to try and be as stoic as possible. This hardly ever happens anymore because I rarely submit to pain now. But I don't call attention that "somethings wrong" unless something is wrong. Being in a hell of a lot of pain doesn't mean anything is wrong and I can't imagine why a bottom would call attention to it.

parttimehotty -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:44:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: loverly WHY would You play with someone You needed a safeword with? would that mean that you dont know them at all or very good? after trust is established and a Master/Mistress knowstheir property.... i would imagin they can be trusted to know you well enough to be able to tell.. if not.. theres something wrong..i believe that safewords were put into use in the clubs back in the day when leathermen used to go there to play at S&M games casually with strange partners and they needed a way to let the person know to stop! just me thoughts... i never used a safeword before, even when the session become harder/rougher than usual, but it seems that it's what you should do (from what i've read ) when you're w/a new Dom/Domme. i understand if you've been w/your Dom/Domme long enough where you both know the other one well enough not to need one, but for your 1st few sessions, noone uses a safe word? i'm more than a little surprised, but on the flip side, i think back to my 1st few sessions and i don't recall ever having one in place, but then i met a "real gentleman" Dom and that's the 1st thing he said, when we started talking. Gave me the safe word he uses w/subs in training, as a safety net. Not that it would have mattered if he had turned out to be a homicidal maniac. Safe word for Ted Bundy's sub....."cast". i just thought i'd pose the question/ponder the responses. ***tricia, i really like the "red ball" system. i'd probably squeeze the sht out of it before dropping it lest i was labeled a pu$$y***

Jeffff -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:46:33 PM)
I have always thought .."HARDER"...was the best safe word Jeff

RCdc -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:47:56 PM)
pth- My suggestion is stop with the whole 'what you are supposed to do'. You are getting to worked into the system and it's not a healthy place to be. You do what you are comfortable with and work out what works for you, before you do anything. Your looking down the barrel of the 'onetrueway' gun - and it's gonna blow your head of big time. the.dark.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Safe Word (1/17/2008 4:57:54 PM)
You guys still use verbal communication? I long ago learned telepathy so my connection would be far deeper/more significant/more spiritual than those who "just" do whatever it is you do.

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