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attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 6:48:38 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

I admit from the outset that I adore sissyboys, I think they are wonderful, but the one thing that distresses me greatly is the attitude towards a lot of sissyboys from other subs and indeed from a lot of male dominants. I have been shown messages from male dominants and from other male subs that have been sent to my boys, above and beyond the usual stupid message/troll type things.

With phrases such as 'hate' and 'die' along with suggestions that the world would be a better place if they just removed themselves from it, is this attitude prevalent in real life, or is this just a nasty online phenomena?

I tell my boys to report them if they are truly foul ones, the feelings they have are often hard enough to come to terms with without the unnecessary added burden of others deciding that they don't deserve to find any kind of fulfillment.

DJ

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 6:55:14 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

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This is an extremely sad post

Homo-phobia is alive and well behind the anonymity of the computer. And ironically, IME cross dressers (whether also role playing as a "sissy" or not) are usually straight.

This kind of bullying is disgusting. But I heard something obvious about bullying the other day:

"Hurt people hurt people"

There's something seriously wrong ("hurt") with grown men who abuse other people they perceive as different or weak. The real problem lies within the abuser, not the victim. They are the damaged goods.

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(in reply to DominaJayde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:20:52 PM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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i'll be honest, i am generally intolerant of "sissy boys" or any overtly effeminate men in my company. i can handle convincing tg's, tv's and ts's with no problem; masculine gay men are perfectly fine in my book. i have no problem seeing male lovers being affectionate with one another; and can even carry on a sexual conversation about both ends of the spectrum. i also admit to a great number of feminine aspects to my own personality.

So why do i have problems with "sissy boys" and "flaming queens"? i don't know, maybe it's the juxtaposition of masculine and feminine in one person; but then why do i find butch women and tomboys attractive? Now, i don't think i bully anyone; and i am, in fact, very polite when i am in the presence of these feminine men. But i will avoid being around one as best i can, and cannot imagine myself actually pursuing a friendship with them.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:21:47 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

This is an extremely sad post

Homo-phobia is alive and well behind the anonymity of the computer. And ironically, IME cross dressers (whether also role playing as a "sissy" or not) are usually straight.

This kind of bullying is disgusting. But I heard something obvious about bullying the other day:

"Hurt people hurt people"

There's something seriously wrong ("hurt") with grown men who abuse other people they perceive as different or weak. The real problem lies within the abuser, not the victim. They are the damaged goods.

Yes, sadly I think you are right, all of my boys are straight, yet because of their kink some form of rampant homophobia gets applied to them, and it says way more about the person making those forms of attack than it does about the person being attacked.

I guess all I can do reassure my boys that they are not the ones with the problems.

DJ

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:29:02 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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as a person born intersexed..i know all about hate, homophobia...etc. yes its very much alive.

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RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:29:16 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

So why do i have problems with "sissy boys" and "flaming queens"? i don't know, maybe it's the juxtaposition of masculine and feminine in one person; but then why do i find butch women and tomboys attractive? Now, i don't think i bully anyone; and i am, in fact, very polite when i am in the presence of these feminine men. But i will avoid being around one as best i can, and cannot imagine myself actually pursuing a friendship with them.

We all have personal preferences and that is just fine, and I see no problem with you not wanting to be around an overtly feminine sissyboy or queen.

It's the deliberately going out of your way (and I dont mean You in this) to be antagonistically rude to someone that you have a problem with, seeking them out so that you can express your feelings of disgust, rather than just ignoring them as most people would.

DJ

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:31:12 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

as a person born intersexed..i know all about hate, homophobia...etc. yes its very much alive.

So much for being a more tolerant subset of society.

DJ

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:32:58 PM

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaJayde

We all have personal preferences and that is just fine, and I see no problem with you not wanting to be around an overtly feminine sissyboy or queen.

It's the deliberately going out of your way (and I dont mean You in this) to be antagonistically rude to someone that you have a problem with, seeking them out so that you can express your feelings of disgust, rather than just ignoring them as most people would.

DJ
/quote]

i just thought i could give you some insight, as i don't see there being too much of a leap from my dislike (which i understand can very well be a type of homophobia) to someone being actively antagonistic.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to DominaJayde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 7:39:48 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i just thought i could give you some insight, as i don't see there being too much of a leap from my dislike (which i understand can very well be a type of homophobia) to someone being actively antagonistic.

Thank you, I guess I just don't understand what would make someone take that leap from dislike into actively pursuing what they dislike, Me, I just stay away from things I dislike, it makes it easier on Myself.

DJ

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 8:04:19 PM

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

as a person born intersexed..i know all about hate, homophobia...etc. yes its very much alive.

You present as very femme, though....... is there as much anti-lesbian homophobia?

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RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 8:07:36 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

as a person born intersexed..i know all about hate, homophobia...etc. yes its very much alive.

You present as very femme, though....... is there as much anti-lesbian homophobia?

there is homophobia everywhere...its not just men its also women. it depends mainly on how one is brought up and where a person lives as culture plays a part in this. i have no masculinity at all and am often hit on by men...but never a woman as of yet even in the les bars. les women think im straight because i dont present the "lesbian look".

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I did not reply to your cmail.

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RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 8:48:31 PM

SolangeRichards

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Joined: 5/8/2005
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I'm a member of many sites on the web. Pretty much the same ones many members here join as well. I also encounter dominant males from time to time in real time.

I can honestly say I have never had any problem with them in either venue.

Many of them consider themselves highly individualistic sorts who cut their own path in life. They have made decisions about who they are, what they want to do with their lives and they pursue their unique goals and ignore the naysayers that say they can't achieve it.

Well....so do I......

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 8:59:47 PM

Posts: 32566
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There's a good point in the difference of someone not being your cup of tea and intentioally going out to damage the teapot. I'm rather outspoken about My preference in this area, but I direct it in a manner of saying that I prefer My boys to be boys. That works for Me. Something else works for you. Each content in their own right.

The fact that your boys are receiving messages with the words "hate" or "die" included in them is, indeed, a very sad issue. I, for one, am glad that have you in support of them.

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RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 9:15:45 PM

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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My sub is a CD but no one would be able to tell it because he doesn't act fem. We both enjoy this activity because to us its fun. Though there are those who do not and in fact some are hateful about it. Those people are close minded and that isn't going to change. The fact is that humans are not as an advanced animal as we would like to think. We still have people who hate others just for being different than themselves. Its not just sissies, CD's, submales or Domme's that feel this, its a whole lot of people.
Frankly I ignore the backward and the knuckle draggers and go on with my life, my sub is the same way.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to DominaJayde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 10:03:16 PM

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Joined: 9/18/2005
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Frankly I ignore the backward and the knuckle draggers and go on with my life, my sub is the same way.

~Lashra

[/quote]
That should be everyone's mantra.

(in reply to Lashra)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 10:33:35 PM

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Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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I personally don't have any use for sissyboys or men who pursue feminization, but that does not negate their right to exist in this world. I politely make clear those are not my kinks and wish them the best in their search.

But why would you or your boys care what male doms think period? Just delete their stupid drivel and move on. Life's too short.

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(in reply to DominaJayde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/18/2008 10:46:04 PM

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

I personally don't have any use for sissyboys or men who pursue feminization, but that does not negate their right to exist in this world. I politely make clear those are not my kinks and wish them the best in their search.

But why would you or your boys care what male doms think period? Just delete their stupid drivel and move on. Life's too short.

I guess like most people, when people direct hate at us, no matter how much we try and ignore it, take the high ground, it does wound, even just a little, and to have it happen more than once, it knocks a little of the self confidence off people who are not that sure about themselves anyway.

(in reply to MisPandora)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/19/2008 3:03:36 AM

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Joined: 7/21/2005
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ive read many diffrent types of postings about cds, sissybois , panty bois , tv , ts but seems this type of play / kink always is one thats put deep away in the closed doors of D/s play....as a along time panty wearing male you'd never know i was submissive if you passed me on the street corner , But then again you may never know whos a MIstress / Master ? submissive either . i understand this is not a type or play or session most are willing too try or play or due .but when you see it on the mnay so called pro Dom sites or pay sites its alwasy out there .. maybe this has some thing too do with it ? and like the tooties Lolly - Pop the world may never know ?

(in reply to DominaJayde)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/19/2008 3:52:45 AM

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Joined: 5/16/2005
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Anonymity brings out the worst in people. Much of what people express at each other online, safely isolated from any 'real' consequences, are deep seated feelings that are normally kept in check by societal influences. I'll admit I do it, too, though I try to be mindful of it. When we remove the psychological filter of another person's face looking back at us, it's much easier to view the person as inferior and to put them down to bolster ones ego. Sadly, the root cause is usually some festering insecurity that should be dealt with responsibly, by a professional in therapy. In the case of vehement homophobes, there's rather strong anecdotal evidence suggesting they have latent (or not so latent, as in the case of Ted Haggard) homosexual urges with which they are uncomfortable.

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: attitudes in general towards sissyboys - 1/19/2008 5:29:10 AM

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Joined: 1/2/2008
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As long as humans inhabit the earth, there will always be someone who is prejudiced against someone else for whatever reason---its no different in this life---bring a human into any situation and typical human behaviors appear.

Its sad, I agree, but it is what it is--it is up to us to make it "what it was".

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 1/19/2008 5:30:45 AM >

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(in reply to DominaJayde)

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