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RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:21:50 AM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

Live by this simple truth and you'll never go wrong. "The one who pays makes the rules."

What a complete and utter load of hogwash. I fork over plenty of money every day for the things I want and need, living in a capitalist economy as I do, and I only get what's on offer the way businesses from small to large are offering it. What faraway fantasy land do you live in?

(in reply to Hotch)

Post #: 21

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 2:08:05 AM

touchofeuphoria

Posts: 33
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Not to her, apparently. But, there are plenty who do not require tribute. If you find a picture that you like, read her profile, too. Pretty soon, you'll get a feel for who does and who doesn't want tribute.

Master Fire

It wasn't about me making the mistake of choosing the wrong women. All I did was pay her a compliment on her looks.

I have read all of your posts, everyone, and I really do appreciate your opinions. Thank you.

_____________________________

MidPulse Web Hosting

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 22

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 3:22:52 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

Feels like a "Ronco SuperD" ad on your local infomercial...

"yes folks, she slices she dices she has removable attachments included in the rockbottom price of 10$...........but wait, theres more! if you send in your order today we will toss in one extra ego and some cheesy instruction booklet ...its even LeatherBound for coffeetable use.!.....act fast, they are flyin outta here folks"

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)

Post #: 23

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 3:37:40 AM

MistressUltimate

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

I was sorry to hear about yet another lazy and greedy pro sending a pasted spam message to someone who only complimented her on her profile. We all (I hope) know that its so easy to block people like that so you dont have to read their drivel.

I'm going to post something that people who are on IC will have seen before. I feel justified in doing this every time someone gets on the ' BDSM for cash' subject.

We pros often get attacked for daring to charge for our services and I feel I have to reply to all those who are actively against pro Dommes, pro subs and anyone who is in business. Please realise that the following comments are directed to those people only and are NOT directed at open minded persons.

I am a professional and yes, people pay me for my services, just as they pay a solicitor, hairdresser, accountant, fuel services, restaurants, nights at the pub, etc. They have a free choice in how they spend their cash and what they spend it on. My profile states quite clearly that I am in business, but that I am also a lifestyler and have been for some time. I also get messages complimenting me on my profile/pics/etc and I always take the time to type out a thankyou to those kind enough to do this. I only ask for money if and when they ask me if they can book me for a session.

Clients approach me. I do not drag them kicking and screaming off the streets ( much as some would enjoy it) and force them to submit to me. Many clients have a happy marriage and are loving fathers and husbands, who have a very very real need to submit, but are married to partners who do not feel that same need. Is it not better to visit me for a none sexual, none committed session than to seek another partner and maybe break up a happy marriage?

All my clients seek none commitment enjoyable submission in a safe environment and are willing to pay for it as a service that they can then say goodbye to and walk away from. They are aware that, if they wished, they could go to a public fetish BDSM club and play for free. They are not stupid.

I have a LOT of experience, many who use this site and on IC know me realtime and I play on an almost daily basis, both professionally and also at clubs and with personal slaves. I am safe and I am sane. I am not some amateur setting up as a pro and damaging peoples bodies, minds and pockets. I do not spam or send pasted messages as the lady in question did in this instance and I do have a very professional website and I paid someone to it put together, just as clients pay me to 'take them apart'. I am not a pushy person, I dont try to badger or bully or entice clients.

For those who don't know.....I receive at least a dozen emails a day from people asking to book me and I can honestly say that if I find just one genuine client in twentyfour time wasting wankers, who will happily exchange long winded messages for as long as I am stupid enough to keep replying to them, I consider myself lucky. No wonder that we sometimes ask for a small sum of cash to prove we are not wasting hours and hours of our time.

On behalf of us pros who care about our clients, ensure that we give value for hard earned cash and constantly strive to improve our service, I ask that you realise that people are just people and do vary in their actions and personalities. Please do not judge us all by one greedy idiot, but take the time to get to know something about us and other professionals as individuals before consigning us to the fake domme or the greedy, grasping grabber catagory?

Thankyou for listening, X
Emma Forde .

< Message edited by MistressUltimate -- 1/21/2008 3:58:20 AM >

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)

Post #: 24

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 4:53:00 AM

SubmissiveAK

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline

~fast post~

I do understand that some who are looking for a slave/TPE relationship may want or even require the slave to turn over control of thier finances... and I'm perfectly ok with that. In fact some day, if I do become a slave, I would like to turn over total control in that way. For some its a hard limit, I know for me it will be hard to do but if I do it, it will only be when I feel the degree of trust and devotion that I would feel safe to do so. Someone coming out and asking for that control, or a tribute firsthand before I have even met them strikes me as opportunistic.

~submissiveAK~

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 25

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 5:58:55 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I think that finances any more is a matter of balance.

In my household, who pays is a matter of who offers or things are split. For example, even though I own Fox I do not want authority over his money -- he contributes to the household budget so he is no stress on it and that is all we need. Thus when we went to the movies this weekend and then got a pizza we split the costs.

If I'm meeting a potential trainee, we both need to pay our way.

If I'm training that means we are doing in my house so he/she needs to cover the costs of getting to my house. While there I'll cover food/drink needs.

If I own someone, see the Fox issue above. I don't personally want to manage a slave's money, that's another level of work and stress for me -- no thank you!

Just consider this email exchange good information about someone you would clearly not be compatible with, touchofeuphoria.

If you find that the women you contact reply with the need for tribute or money, you may need to rethink what is attracting you to them in the first place.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)

Post #: 26

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 6:41:41 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Sex, dominance and money always tend to be a powderkeg. I've met plenty of partners who have no problem wanting to intermingle our bodies, or take on one role or the other, but the moment you mention touching their bank account, or asking them to pay for something, Whoa! Look out!

As such, I've come to look at the mixing of finances as the highest form of intamacy and trust. Sure, someone new can have the keys to my apartment, or use my car when they need it, but if I'm going to allow them near my credit card or my checking account, I'd have to trust them better than some of my own family members.

Still, $10 seems awfully cheap... Compared to a vanilla date where dinner might run you $50, a movie $20 for tickets and another $20 for popcorn and drinks... $10 for gas... I think she's giving you a bargain!

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 27

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 7:01:17 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Women like that are just cheap switches.....after all,who worthy of being called Dominant lets themselves be controlled for a few measely dollars? The amount is unimportant, giving up your ability to call all of the shots is.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 28

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 7:19:38 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear touchofeuphoria, Ladies and Gentlemen;

To address the topic, 'Does BDSM require money?' -- I do know personally that as a Dominant I have had to spend much money on acquiring tools/equipment as to do what I do on the TOP side/dominant side of the whip.

That said -- there can be expenses involved in BDSM however, I disagree with the tactic of having someone pay for the right to contact me further and or 'have a scene' and or 'play with me' and or listen to any of my presentations. The 'currency' if you will is really the worth of individuals--to include you, me and everybody out here in the world. I think our American Revolution, the Civil War we fought all was geared to the 'idea' that everybody is valued and worthwhile. For me, friendship, slaves and such are not my personal 'purse' as far as money goes but, a deep purse in something much more valuable--and that is you as an individual.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)

Post #: 29

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 7:24:06 AM

Hotch

Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSaskia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

Live by this simple truth and you'll never go wrong. "The one who pays makes the rules."

What a complete and utter load of hogwash. I fork over plenty of money every day for the things I want and need, living in a capitalist economy as I do, and I only get what's on offer the way businesses from small to large are offering it. What faraway fantasy land do you live in?

First off honey, I’m not one of your (paying?) subs, so keep the condescending remarks to yourself. Secondly, for someone who lives in a capitalistic society, your inability to grasp basic economic principle says more about your ignorance then my delusional state. I stand by my previous statement and look forward to further lowering my opinion of you by how you choose to respond. I won’t comment further in this tread out of respect to the OP.

(in reply to MsSaskia)

Post #: 30

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 7:48:10 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

~~~~Live by this simple truth and you'll never go wrong. "The one who pays makes the rules." ~~~~

Sooooo Twueeeee

(in reply to Hotch)

Post #: 31

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 7:49:52 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

~~Do you honestly think that a Dominant who is willing to accept just ten dollars from you is real and wants you as a slave? ~~

...was a nice quiet weekend

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 32

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 9:10:03 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

CuriousLord your statement about explotation is very true for married couples

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 33

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 10:28:54 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

My goodness Curious Lord you really have got a chip on your shoulder against women.
I've been sexually and physically abused by men but I still like and love some of them.
To answer the OP.
Everything in life costs money except the care of a good dominant woman and the care of a good submissive man.
That can't be bought.
However for those two people to meet regularly costs money unless they are stupid enough to move in together before they get to know one another.
It's just like any other relationship
How they work that out is down to the dominant partner.
If a sub asks me out I expect him to pay. If I ask him out I expect to pay. Either way we go for a walk or a coffee the first time lol. Gone are the days when I go out to dinner or anything else that costs money with someone I don't know.
If he's my submissive partner I control his money as I control everything else.
I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 34

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 10:32:58 AM

agoodgirl4Daddy

Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

why in the hell call it a "Tribute"? it's PAYMENT for domination, pure and simple. is it a way to get around the questionable legality of paying to have one's cock and balls tortured OR to be trampled OR to be forced to become a sissy for an afternoon OR..etc.

i'm just glad that female s types aren't typically asked to pay to enter a Power Exchange with a D type.

seems to me it's a way to exploit the one who tends to make the bigger salary in our society!

_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 35

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:00:57 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: touchofeuphoria
I have read all of your posts, everyone, and I really do appreciate your opinions. Thank you.

All 4,025 of them? Impressive. *chuckle*

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)

Post #: 36

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:05:51 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

My goodness Curious Lord you really have got a chip on your shoulder against women.

Eh? I only said that it seems Domme's are more likely to want money from sub's than their male counterparts, but that I think there are Domme's out there who don't need to get money that way. That seems to pretty much true to me..

(in reply to lateralist1)

Post #: 37

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:10:46 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Women like that are just cheap switches.....after all,who worthy of being called Dominant lets themselves be controlled for a few measely dollars? The amount is unimportant, giving up your ability to call all of the shots is.

I disagree that this is always true. For some, Financial Domination is a fetish. Yes, he's paying the money, but he only controls the relationship if those involved decide it will be that way. Seems to me that she controling them by saying, "Pay for it." If they don't, they don't get to interact with her. That's just like a Dominant saying, "Behave in this appropriate way or you don't get my attention." We do that all the time.

For many, Financial Domination is a limit, just like cutting is a limit for many. But, there are many who like it, too. Women who are open about what they want provide a valuable weeding tool for those who don't like her fetishes or demands.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 38

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:11:39 PM

Feric

Posts: 227
Joined: 1/9/2008
From: San Francisco
Status: offline

Although I'm still starting out in the BDSM world, my experience thus far is that it doesn't take a lot of money. Equipment can be picked up fairly inexpensively, as long as you're willing to shop around.

_____________________________

A figure of startling and unexpected nobility...

(in reply to MsSaskia)

Post #: 39

RE: Does BDSM Require Money? - 1/21/2008 1:31:26 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSaskia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

Live by this simple truth and you'll never go wrong. "The one who pays makes the rules."

What a complete and utter load of hogwash. I fork over plenty of money every day for the things I want and need, living in a capitalist economy as I do, and I only get what's on offer the way businesses from small to large are offering it. What faraway fantasy land do you live in?

First off honey, I’m not one of your (paying?) subs, so keep the condescending remarks to yourself. Secondly, for someone who lives in a capitalistic society, your inability to grasp basic economic principle says more about your ignorance then my delusional state. I stand by my previous statement and look forward to further lowering my opinion of you by how you choose to respond. I won’t comment further in this tread out of respect to the OP.

Well, precious, basic economic principles don't cover money being magic, like having some cash in hand is as good as rubbing a lamp and having a genie pop out that's compelled to do anything it's told. Nobody has a job where they do anything and everything they're told to do, regardless of job description.

If you don't like being condescended to, don't make such ignorant statements. It's adorable that you think a total stranger on the internet would care about whether you have a low opinion of them. Nice ego you have there!

(in reply to Hotch)

Post #: 40

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