Honesty. That which you've never put out there.

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Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 7:53:26 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/27/2007
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I don't find people terribly willing to go beyond convenient truths, and what is fairly politically correct. This is in Life (real-time), and certainly my experience in a short time on CM.   Just a few have I found remarkable to offer up head & heart, putting armouring aside, embracing vulnerability, to allow for the deepent revelations. And I certainly understand this. Everyone is interested in keeping the soft underbelly guarded. No one wants to be cast-off, disregarded...or eat bad news.

As a teen, I knew a girl for a summer, adoring her but assuming I could never win her heart. Late that summer she approached me and asked if I disliked her. Aghast I said, "No." I pointed out what I just shared, the truth. She explained she had been hoping I'd say something since she had a bit oif a wild crush on me.

I learned an important lesson that summer. ASK.  Mathematically the odds are with you in large numbers. Never let that one who looks sogood get away without saying,"You're really quite pretty. Want to grab lunch sometime?"
A no and you've lost little. A "yes", and anything can be. THEME: Toss a bit of unpoken honesty out here. Honesty on CM? What a concept.

My honest burp? I signed with CM as a hoot. Thought this would be "interesting." After talking to one woman (talking being PMs, then phone), for a week, I was astounded at how she "got me" faster than I can recall in the last several years real-life. I looked so forward to our talks, and was, maybe for ther 1st time in a LONG time, anxious before she'd phone. Then she told me she "thought it possible she could love me..."   My mouth went dry. I poured my heart out about how stunned I was at the intensity of my feelings. I 'gushed', if you will...smile.

We said in the next call we'd make plans to fly her to me. I believed her words as I knew I was alive. The time came for the phone call. I was so damned prepared.   I told a good friend. He raised a brow, "online?"

The time arrived for the call. It never came. after 3 emails, and no response i let it go. Bitter pill. Did it hurt...good god. I decided to keep the account here open...just to make certain I was not running away.

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 7:56:44 PM

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
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not everyone on this site are liers, i know several really good people (including both of my dominants and several of my other kink friends in r/t). you just have to keep plugging at it and keep talking to people.

sorry that things went so badly though.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:00:43 PM

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Sorry you had a bad experience, but hey, you are only here a month. EVERYONE here has had some type of strange experience, it is, after all, the internet. One thing to learn from this is do not invest yourself too heavily in anything that is exclusively ONLINE.

Real life is the only place to determine chemistry, reality and truth.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:01:01 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I met my Daddy here, we have been seeing each other for going on two years... I love him very much, so it is possible to find the person for you.

Our conversations still last for hours sometimes.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:05:46 PM

SimplySubmissive

Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
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It is terrible when that happens. And it does happen often. I'm not sure why. Sometimes I think these feelings happen so fast after meeting online, is because
it's all direct communication. No hanging out in a bar, drinking, dancing, etc.
Who really knows why. Someone gets scared, someone can't meet because they lied about looks or whatever. Someone created a fantasy person online, and then actually met someone they liked..but would be found out if they were face to face.
It's just a risk that people online have to understand.
Sorry you had to go through it though!

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:22:44 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2007
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I appreciate all that's been said. Truly. And what warm words you've offered...SimplySubmmission, and the rest. What I've invited, however, is OTHERS to offer an expression of HONESTY, something never revealed before...here on CM.
A secret love. A story never told. A secret yearning. Something shared that does not come easily. Trusting that some will understand, and not judge. Might be fascinating. In my practice. My job, in part, is to help my patients to find and understand their truths. I always admire a forthcoming secret revealed. I offered one. ANYONE ELSE?

(in reply to SimplySubmissive)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:24:18 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

smile...Simply I screwed up your name. I hate doing that. My apologies SimplySubmissive.
J.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:31:32 PM

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No need to get narky, Joshua. People are just trying to empathise, commiserate on your sad story and let you know that it's not all bad.

I talked to a person for a few months about a year ago. It got to phone calls and meetings. Until his wife called me. The wife he forgot to mention.

I was sad for a nanosecond. I was sad for his wife for a long time.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:35:45 PM

Posts: 1209
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From: San Antonio, TX
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The exact same thing happened to me after being here...you guessed it, 1 month. Unlike you, I hid my profile and walked away for awhile. I just re-activated it this very evening. I was gullable. I admit it.

Ironically, my big secret is that I thought I was too smart to get caught up in the whole 'online thing.' I didn't look too favorably on people who allowed it to happen. The experience was humbling. Now I will take a more compassionate approach when berating people for being suckers.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:36:12 PM

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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Having boundaries when dealing with strangers who may be flaky is a good thing.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:39:00 PM

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Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

I still find her very attractive even if she is a smoker. I definitely should have kissed her a few weeks ago. I hate leaving things unfinished.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 8:52:17 PM

SimplySubmissive

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Joined: 1/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JoshuasHeart

smile...Simply I screwed up your name. I hate doing that. My apologies SimplySubmissive.
J.

smiles.. I knew who you meant!
I'm happy that you clarified the intent of the post.
now I'm off to think of a suitable secret I can share!

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 9:12:29 PM

SimplySubmissive

Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline

ok, here goes,,
The first Dom I met r/l was kind of a jerk.. well, really a jerk. We were to meet in a coffee shop midway between our homes, about an hour drive. I had not seen a pic, but he told me what he'd be wearing, and what he drove. I had his cell #.
He called while I was at the coffee shop,about 30 min late. Told me to drive across the street. So I did. Then I got in his car, (not the one he described) and went to his house. Lots of things happened, many that were just too much too soon. I cried all the way back to my car. Went home and sent him a nasty e-mail.
Met him again a few weeks later.
There were many many things he did that was out of line. But I guess I let him, more than once.
I still don't really know what posessed me to do these stupid things, except that I was brand new to finding this whole lifestyle thing, and he was one of those doms that comes on all strong with lots of orders and "Sirs"
I had a real hard time saying no to someone like that on the phone, or in person.
e-mail was much easier. :)

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 9:13:44 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2007
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Now there is one smart Lady. SimplySubmissive understands what I had proposed. Articulate as well. Smile.
Very attractively done. Looking forward to your "suitable secret."
Warmly/Joshua

(in reply to SimplySubmissive)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 9:19:01 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2007
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Magnolia...grin...I was not being "narky" (do we still say "narky?") Perhaps get a clue...and get over yourself at same time.
You may kiss my arse as well mags.
Love ya for trying/Joshua

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 9:19:10 PM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoshuasHeart

Now there is one smart Lady. SimplySubmissive understands what I had proposed. Articulate as well. Smile.
Very attractively done. Looking forward to your "suitable secret."
Warmly/Joshua

Do you assume that because no one else decided to unburden themselves of their "secrets" for you to mull over, that they are either unintelligent or do not possess full understanding of what you proposed?

Perhaps we don't feel like sharing with you. Your comments are starting to drip with sarcasm and are somewhat patronizing.

Oh, I just saw what you replied to MissMagnolia. Her reply to you was humorous, as she always is, your reply to her was nasty.

That is not welcome here, I can assure you.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/21/2008 9:22:43 PM >

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 9:50:13 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

Simply. So sorry you were introduced in that fashion, and glad you've found a better course. Thanks for being so open as well.

Red, I don't know you, nor am I a vet of posting here. I must admit i've not been called narky before...and not knowing mags, it was taken face value. If magnolia's feelings are bruised, she seems a big girl and can let me know. Eventually we'll be fine...I'm a fairly nice guy (Mags you do have pretty eyes...smile.)

Red, Good god...relax. I threw a challenge to be honest & revaeling out there. Not to share with ME...but for the purpose of a sigularly interesting and evolving post EVERYONE could jump in on...if they chose to. SimplySubmission was lady enough to recognize my intent, not extend claws, rather share one with us ALL. For a snippy/sarcastic chick, you through "patronizing" and "sarcastic" around as though they weren't good friends of yours. Let it go.
Joshua

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 10:32:50 PM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JoshuasHeart

Simply. So sorry you were introduced in that fashion, and glad you've found a better course. Thanks for being so open as well.

Red, I don't know you, nor am I a vet of posting here. I must admit i've not been called narky before...and not knowing mags, it was taken face value. If magnolia's feelings are bruised, she seems a big girl and can let me know. Eventually we'll be fine...I'm a fairly nice guy (Mags you do have pretty eyes...smile.)

Red, Good god...relax. I threw a challenge to be honest & revaeling out there. Not to share with ME...but for the purpose of a sigularly interesting and evolving post EVERYONE could jump in on...if they chose to. SimplySubmission was lady enough to recognize my intent, not extend claws, rather share one with us ALL. For a snippy/sarcastic chick, you through "patronizing" and "sarcastic" around as though they weren't good friends of yours. Let it go.
Joshua

Why exacly are you calling her mags if you have no desire to be rude or snarky?

With your 12th post I think what you should understand is that many of us here have opened up to each other and shared and continue to do so. You want to help your "patients"? Have a basic understanding of human nature. It's not uncommon or even unhealthy for people on the internet to protect themselves. I would suggest you may need to get better at it personally. What you will find is that over time you learn to see when someone is leading you on, hesitant or just a troll. You have to actually listen and read what they are saying however, and I'm not getting the sense you are doing so here.

Do you want to know secrets about people here? Read the forums. I can tell you many things about many of these people's lives, trials, tribulations, traumas and recoveries just from being here. Sharing that with someone I don't know because they find it novel because they've just discovered the wonders of the internet ain't all that appealing personally.

Oh and I'd really brush up on your knowlege of the mentality of established groups if I were you, you really don't get it.

By the way, that's MM's signature line not an insult to you personally.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/21/2008 10:36:14 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to JoshuasHeart)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 10:35:30 PM

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoshuasHeart

Simply. So sorry you were introduced in that fashion, and glad you've found a better course. Thanks for being so open as well.

Red, I don't know you, nor am I a vet of posting here. I must admit i've not been called narky before...and not knowing mags, it was taken face value. If magnolia's feelings are bruised, she seems a big girl and can let me know. Eventually we'll be fine...I'm a fairly nice guy (Mags you do have pretty eyes...smile.)

Red, Good god...relax. I threw a challenge to be honest & revaeling out there. Not to share with ME...but for the purpose of a sigularly interesting and evolving post EVERYONE could jump in on...if they chose to. SimplySubmission was lady enough to recognize my intent, not extend claws, rather share one with us ALL. For a snippy/sarcastic chick, you through "patronizing" and "sarcastic" around as though they weren't good friends of yours. Let it go.
Joshua

Why exacly are you calling her mags if you have no desire to be rude or snarky?

With your 12th post I think what you should understand is that many of us here have opened up to each other and shared and continue to do so. You want to help your "patients"? Have a basic understanding of human nature. It's not uncommon or even unhealthy for people on the internet to protect themselves. I would suggest you may need to get better at it personally. What you will find is that over time you learn to see when someone is leading you on, hesitant or just a troll. You have to actually listen and read what they are saying however, and I'm not getting the sense you are doing so here.

Do you want to know secrets about people here? Read the forums. I can tell you many things about many of these people's lives, trials, tribulations, traumas and recoveries just from being here. Sharing that with someone I don't know because they find it novel because they've just discovered the wonders of the internet ain't all that appealing personally.

Oh and I'd really brush up on your knowlege of the mentality of established groups if I were you, you really don't get it.

/agree... as per usual

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Honesty. That which you've never put out there. - 1/21/2008 10:37:20 PM

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Someone like you couldn't possibly bruise my feelings little man. I was simply trying to explain why people were posting things. But, as you are acting like a big headed cunt with an attitude problem, I won't be bothering again.

No offense josh.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to laurell3)

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