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on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 12:48:19 AM

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
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This directly correlates with my curiousity.
This is << link >>me and another << link >> me

As a disclaimer I'll say that I very much understand that it's really a basis of opinion. Some Submissive enjoy having a Master who looks, thinks and acts like me. Others need someone who weighs 240 lbs and has facial and chest hair. Lots of it. So we don't have to talk about how it's only a matter of preference.

And SOME UNNAMED "dominant" women, just assume from my pictures that I'm submissive and leave VERY forward and uncalled for material in my mail. In which I've replied with very impolite messages in return. Extremely impolite.

---

However, I want to ask the entire field of Submissives on Collarchat what they think of Masters or Dominants or Slave Owners that Dominate in a non forceful Manner. (Except in Bed, in which case it's completely physically forceful). Masters who depend and rely on emotions and intellect. They don't cut off a slave's words and force their dominance because they look very mean but because their own words will have already predicted or countered the slave or submissive's thoughts with a better idea.

They don't dominate by only ordering and commanding with simple words. But they dominate the woman (or man) like a puppeteer. Leading them almost subconsciously without lies or deception. So in tune with how the submissive feels and how to change her feelings that they are like commands themselves.

---

I'm pretty strong physically actually, but my demeaner really isn't very scary. Which I rue. Genetically speaking I'm not going to be looking any older for a very long time... My mother still gets carded whenever I take her to see Rated R movies, and gets hit on by guys my age or younger all the time.

She's getting close to sixty.

So as imposing my demeanor and ways might be, I don't have a very imposing image at all. Even though I'm taller than most submissives I meet. (There was one submissive I met who was 6' 2" xD)

According to Collarchat Submissives, would you find Masters like this attractive. Or perhaps fundamentally flawed.

< Message edited by zhouwuatsien -- 1/24/2008 1:05:26 AM >

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 12:55:48 AM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

I find brains and a confident attitude very sexy, so if those were in abundance, that would certainly capture my initial interest. Your own disclaimer, though, is your answer. It's strictly a matter of personal preference as to what one looks for in the realm of physical appearance. Heart to heart and mind to mind connections in combination with my gut reactions are very important to me. Looks and all other things are far below those three criteria for me.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 1:51:04 AM

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

From your pictures, I think you look exotic rather than "non-masculine". And, you don't need a consensus of submissives to find your style of dominance attractive...you just need one. I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think about how you look...but that's just me.

All of that being said, I'm vain...and I appreciate people telling me all about my cuteness.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 2:48:20 AM

Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

it's all about attitude, confidence and the way you conduct yourself - you don't have to drag your knuckles along the ground or have more chest hair than King Kong to be a Dom.

As far as what you get in your inbox from others who are making assumptions about your proclivities, what do they really matter? I mean really? The person you are referring to is a face-less person on the internet - don't let them leech on your self confidence by taking their assumptions on board.

You have to believe in yourself.

Meditate on your inner strength and let that shine through.

Editted to tweak ....

< Message edited by venusinblu -- 1/24/2008 2:54:01 AM >

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 3:12:50 AM

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

put Karate MAster and Ninja in your profile.

Sorry beeing sarcastic, people who judge about you like that propably need these kinds of things. You are who You are. Don't give a shi*t about what they think, you know best who you are.
Besides that, there seem a lott of peopel that think that "Asians" are all submissive.
It is not your problem, it is theirs.

(btw you look good, could find any submissive features, and I did measurments on the skull)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to venusinblu)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 3:50:29 AM

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

Hmmmm... Yes... Ninja Karate Master...

---> o.O

Meh, nah, probably wouldn't work.

---

I need to work on my writing skills... -Rolls his eyes-

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 4:34:27 AM

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

Ok so my Sir fits the 6'3 solid built physical Dom profile but to me thats not what draws me o him, it is the inner confidence and self assurance he radiates.

So if ya got that then its all good I say. But heck going on the pics your pretty good looking to ;)

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 5:19:53 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

what do i find sexy in Daddy and SO?

for one thing, they are a person first and dominant second. another thing is their conversation, love for eclectic music, friendship, compassion, etc. it's not in their nature to cut me off in mid sentence and "enforce" the dominant side over me. i'm allowed to express myself and my opinions/thoughts do matter to them. though they are the same in some ways however they are quite different in others.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 8:37:04 AM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I realize it is a silly convention but dominants capitalize their first letter and submissives tend not to. Perhaps that is part of the confusion.

As for your description of yourself, don't think knuckle draggers like myself are neanderthals. There are plenty of men like you who are physically overbearing and use intimidation to control their women.

Don't make the classic mistake of putting others down to make yourself feel better. Throw your shoulders back, lift your chin and just be you.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 8:39:53 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I will say that the pictures don't scream dominance to me. Because you're looking down, not looking the camera in the eye. And because your hair is covering your face. That says insecurity to me. I might switch to a pic with you looking into the camera, hair pulled back and smiling. Confidence is essential.

The Man is one of those physically imposing types but he's a pussycat. Loved by pets and ums. He doesn't go around glowering or grabbing strangers off the street and demanding things by fear of physical threats. He doesn't do that to me either. It's fun when he does, but asking me to deposit a payment in the bank for him doesn't require anything more than a polite request. Neither does saying he's out of socks and could I find them for him. It's the personality, that take charge personality that melts me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 8:53:15 AM

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zhouwuatsien

This directly correlates with my curiousity.
This is << link >>me and another << link >> me

As a disclaimer I'll say that I very much understand that it's really a basis of opinion. Some Submissive enjoy having a Master who looks, thinks and acts like me. Others need someone who weighs 240 lbs and has facial and chest hair. Lots of it. So we don't have to talk about how it's only a matter of preference.

And SOME UNNAMED "dominant" women, just assume from my pictures that I'm submissive and leave VERY forward and uncalled for material in my mail. In which I've replied with very impolite messages in return. Extremely impolite.

---

However, I want to ask the entire field of Submissives on Collarchat what they think of Masters or Dominants or Slave Owners that Dominate in a non forceful Manner. (Except in Bed, in which case it's completely physically forceful). Masters who depend and rely on emotions and intellect. They don't cut off a slave's words and force their dominance because they look very mean but because their own words will have already predicted or countered the slave or submissive's thoughts with a better idea.

They don't dominate by only ordering and commanding with simple words. But they dominate the woman (or man) like a puppeteer. Leading them almost subconsciously without lies or deception. So in tune with how the submissive feels and how to change her feelings that they are like commands themselves.

---

I'm pretty strong physically actually, but my demeaner really isn't very scary. Which I rue. Genetically speaking I'm not going to be looking any older for a very long time... My mother still gets carded whenever I take her to see Rated R movies, and gets hit on by guys my age or younger all the time.

She's getting close to sixty.

So as imposing my demeanor and ways might be, I don't have a very imposing image at all. Even though I'm taller than most submissives I meet. (There was one submissive I met who was 6' 2" xD)

According to Collarchat Submissives, would you find Masters like this attractive. Or perhaps fundamentally flawed.

I like who I like partially based on appearence but mostly based on attitude, self awareness and self assuredness.

And I feel robbed as you no longer have your picture up.

As for the e-mails you get, look to see if these women have actually viewed your profile, chances are that they either responded based solely on your picture or you are part of a larger group of e-mails that were splattered about with hopes of getting a reply or two (like throwing spit-balls on the celing-- you throw enough up, some will stick).

A long time ago, I was contacted by a man who blew a nut when he found that I was between computers at home and that web-camming was out of the question even if I were on-line at home. Apparently his experience showed him that a woman like me wasn't real. Astonishingly a month later I got the exact same greeting from him that I did the first time-- though I thought it was a personalized e-mail the first time, it was obviously a cut and paste job that he used often.

I still get e-mails from men asking me to contact them "if I'm still seeking", which indicated to me that they haven't even read my opening sentence. Not to mention the gentlemen with verbal diarrhea who are widowed, are travelling abroad in Africa due to a business venture (usually in export/import) and could just tell from my picture that I was the "angel" that God had sent to this earth to be with them forever.

Some e-mails aren't meant to be responded to...

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 8:53:50 AM

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

AS a 5'4 female, I dont think someone's looks have anything at all to do with their Dominance.
If you are able to control someone and you have the desire and the abilities to command that, you are Dominant. If you are not confident enough to command someone else, then you might not be a good Dominant and might have to work on it.
Attraction is more the thing you seem to be questioning, though. Some women are attracted to more masculine types, especialy submissive women in my experience. I dont thik you look Dom or sub, but then again I dont thing ANYONE looks a part any more than they look necessarily gay or straight. Anyone looking at you and not noticing that you are listed as Dominant should just be written off. They do it to me, and I point out the red letters, not pink, and tell them to read more carefully.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 9:25:15 AM

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zhouwuatsien
---

However, I want to ask the entire field of Submissives on Collarchat what they think of Masters or Dominants or Slave Owners that Dominate in a non forceful Manner. (Except in Bed, in which case it's completely physically forceful). Masters who depend and rely on emotions and intellect. They don't cut off a slave's words and force their dominance because they look very mean but because their own words will have already predicted or countered the slave or submissive's thoughts with a better idea.

They don't dominate by only ordering and commanding with simple words. But they dominate the woman (or man) like a puppeteer. Leading them almost subconsciously without lies or deception. So in tune with how the submissive feels and how to change her feelings that they are like commands themselves.

According to Collarchat Submissives, would you find Masters like this attractive. Or perhaps fundamentally flawed.

In my opinion:

Masters who dominate using their emotions and intellect (and even vulnerability ) are not only attractive, but preferred.
Master's who dominate in a forceful manner are the ones who are fundamentally flawed. If anyone were to cut me off, treat me like a simpleton or in general use tactics that were designed to shake my self confidence or self esteem, they would soon find themselves whining about how emasculated I made them feel.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 9:55:00 AM

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

My Master is a masculine man but i would have wanted to be his anyway because his personallity won me over. He dominates me sure but he dose not use threats or abuse. He tell me to do something i do it. I do not have to be scared into doing it. He uses his mind and intellect not "forcing" me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 10:07:45 AM

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

A tricky question to respond to since we all are different,I for one don't give a shit if anyone finds me over bearing or not.I am an in your face master,Those that control only in the bedroom are in my humble opinion is just a forceful lover nothing more nothing less.Why would one want to be in control one minute and not the next..I am 6-4 228 pounds and my best friend is 5-9 maybe 165 soaking wet and yet hes a very forceful dominent master...Your apperence or size hasn't a damm thing to do with your ability to DOM ...I would tell those that question your ability to do so to go fly a kite...just the humble opinion of this ol' master...

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 10:17:01 AM

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

Size doesn't say much indeed, many great leaders were small. As Bountyhunter says..they can take it or leave , what you have to offer.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 10:19:23 AM

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Size doesn't say much indeed, many great leaders were small. As Bountyhunter says..they can take it or leave , what you have to offer.

Yeah look at ol' WINSTON C 5-4 and about 10 foot around...smile

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 4:36:14 PM

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

Ai yah. I would add that if I could change my original post, but you're certainly correct about that. I've even thought of and developed characters behind that very concept. Just because someone is large, strong or physically domineering doesn't mean that they have no minds themselves at all.

When I was in College in Virginia, strangely I became friends with half of the football team when I was going to the Gym there. I always thought they'd be mean or selfish but in the end they turned out to be extremely fun and caring of me in the end. (Kind of like the Finding Nemo "Shark" situation)

I'm getting a lot of replies on how it's all about confidence and that's all they look for. I sort of state in the beginning that I realize that it's based on opinions, and that I already knew that most submissives or slaves "Look for what's inside". Second paragraph of my post, but it seems to be the only thing people can think of.

I guess that's not so bad to say though. It's... "Somewhat" reaffirming.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 4:40:35 PM

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Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch
If anyone were to cut me off, treat me like a simpleton or in general use tactics that were designed to shake my self confidence or self esteem, they would soon find themselves whining about how emasculated I made them feel.

Well, you're also Dominant... An extremely hot dominant. So it's not like you'd find a situation where anyone would even try that...

Is there?

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

RE: on Non Masculine Masters - 1/24/2008 4:47:15 PM

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I will say that the pictures don't scream dominance to me. Because you're looking down, not looking the camera in the eye. And because your hair is covering your face. That says insecurity to me. I might switch to a pic with you looking into the camera, hair pulled back and smiling. Confidence is essential.

Hair back, wide smile...

...I think the temptation to try my best to look extremely dopey would be too great if I tried that. After each picture I'd try to make myself look more and more ridiculous...

...I actually want to do that now. xD

(in reply to DesFIP)

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