HerBoudoir -> RE: marriage and true relation (1/26/2008 7:06:17 AM)
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ORIGINAL: catia i hate freedoom, and i hate live as a man all time. i think i must be broken, train to become a trans permanently Do you understand that making the decision to live your life as a woman and go through the trans process is something that is completely independent and separate from whether or not you can find a Domme to marry? Lady Ellen can jump in here and much more eloquently discuss the issues around going through the trans procedure much more than I can; HOWEVER, I will say that if that is something that you want for yourself, then you need to do it for yourself rather than try to find someone to do it for you. I say this because it will be taking your life, turning it completely inside out, potentially losing all you have, taking all of your relationships from family to friends and yes with your Domme and turning them on their head, with zero guarantee there will be anyone there to hold your hand at the other side, married or not. And ultimately, you will need to be strong enough in yourself to rebuild a new life for yourself when it's all said and done. It's a helluva process to go through unless you're absolutely certain that it's something you want in your life; essentially to correct the physical discrepancy that is out of allignment your gender identity. You have some huge agendas when it comes to relationships - you want someone who fits an extremely specific fantasy ideal AND you want marriage out of the relationship AND you want her to push you into going through a lengthy and comlicated process that will alienate you from the life you know now AND you want her to totally be into you as you are. I'm not saying your wrong for pursuing the type of relationship you want. I AM saying that the more specific your requirements, then the smaller the number of potential partners there are for you. You have an extensive agenda and frankly seem very inflexible about it. Again - that's fine if that's what it takes to make you happy - but you would probably be happier overall if you lived your life for you rather than in the hopes that you might find this half-a-needle in a haystack. I have to wonder - how much real time experience do you have actually being in a BDSM based relationship? Not playing dress up, not having someone spank you sometimes, but actually being in a long term relationship with a Domme? You may need to take some time, step back, and really consider what you NEED in a relationship for it to work for you, and what you can be flexible about. You should also take a step back and really think about the trans process - consult the appropriate health physicians - and investigate for YOURSELF what it will take to go through it. A health professional can also help you decide whether it's really something you want to go through or not.
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