RE: Thread Hijacking (Full Version)

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fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 5:55:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


Respectfully, I find this a bit dramatic. Dirty work? You dont find this disrespectful? Terrorize? How can a few barbed word terrorize one so? They are just words.


you know i like most of your posts and i agree with you. to a point.

my infamous to a point...sigh.

a few barbed words, worded the right way and to the right person will have MASSIVE effects. or at least the potential. case in point--rape play threads. that's one big minefield of triggers sitting right there for the right group. me? i tend to ignore them for that reason. however it's all just words right? doesn't matter that the power of words has driven numerous and countless people (including myself) into therapy at one point or another right?

NOTE: THAT WAS NOT WHINING OR LOOKING FOR PITY. KINDLY KEEP THAT OUT OF IT.

however to simply say it's just a couple of words i think underestimates the power of language. granted you can stop reading and you can find another board which is all well and good but to just say oh well it's just words suck up and deal--you never know what someone's trigger is, and like i said before i at least personally am not looking for sweetness and light but a little honesty tempered with some adult reason might be nice.

i think people overestimate the lack of context on these boards as well. there's no behavioral cues here that could  possibly temper some of these posts/hijackings down a little. there's a lot of stuff here that can be construed in multiple ways and without being able to see say someone's facial response i might take something really serious as being hilariously funny or on the opposite take something as exceptionally rude and offensive when i might have thought it was funny with some body language thrown in so i could know what the intention was.

but meh.

i tend to ramble anyway.



LaTigresse -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:01:33 AM)

I am wiping tears here......I just don't know if they are tears of laughter, or sorrow because I wish I had written that and know I never will have the talent.

edited to add........my favourite line is the one about "whoremongers, drunks, and ne'err-do-wells........"



KatyLied -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:02:08 AM)

quote:

it's just words suck up and deal--you never know what someone's trigger is


I am not responsible for a stranger's trigger.  Seriously, I am not going to mother every person and worry about if what I say may offend them in some way or send them to a therapist.  Chances are if I say something so horrible that it sends them into a tailspin they probably needed therapy before they hit the world of the big bad internets.



IrishMist -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:05:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

it's just words suck up and deal--you never know what someone's trigger is


I am not responsible for a stranger's trigger.  Seriously, I am not going to mother every person and worry about if what I say may offend them in some way or send them to a therapist.  Chances are if I say something so horrible that it sends them into a tailspin they probably needed therapy before they hit the world of the big bad internets.


[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]
Bravo



fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:06:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

it's just words suck up and deal--you never know what someone's trigger is


I am not responsible for a stranger's trigger.  Seriously, I am not going to mother every person and worry about if what I say may offend them in some way or send them to a therapist.  Chances are if I say something so horrible that it sends them into a tailspin they probably needed therapy before they hit the world of the big bad internets.



well that's the joy of the internet. to each his own.

Fast reply:
but on the same token we are not responsible for other people's reactions--so you might get threads about hijacking, that a lot of people seem to take some level of offense to. it's a two way street. you can post what you want but not everyone is going to like what you say, and you are going to hit triggers even if you try not to. i've done it. but then i've also been called a man after some of my posts (i'm still trying to figure out if it was meant as a compliment or an insult).

okay now i really am rambling...



kittinSol -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:07:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch

there's no behavioral cues here that could  possibly temper some of these posts/hijackings down a little. there's a lot of stuff here that can be construed in multiple ways and without being able to see say someone's facial response i might take something really serious as being hilariously funny or on the opposite take something as exceptionally rude and offensive when i might have thought it was funny with some body language thrown in so i could know what the intention was.



A very good point, frequently overlooked.



Aneirin -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:10:53 AM)

So, does this mean that there will be a policing of threads to look for possible hi jack attempts, when in reality a deviation from the original subject could actually be a different way of looking at things.Something which even may stimulate conversation elsewhere.

Are we now to see posts from people self policing a thread, 'oops, can't say that, it might be off topic' or others posting to tell someone they are off topic, something which might only be in their view.

I see the forums as conversation and as conversation is, it is common for conversation to lead elsewhere. All it takes if a thread to be kept online, is the occaisional prompt.



KatyLied -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:11:20 AM)

quote:

you can post what you want but not everyone is going to like what you say


Definitely.  The problems start when other posters, of a brittle nature don't understand that and think it's their mission to fully explain themselves or they get wildly upset about things that don't make any difference.  It's as if a person's dysfunction becomes magified to gigantic proportions.  Sometimes it's fun to watch, sometimes it's scary to think that these are adults, and badly functioning ones at that.



fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:11:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

So, does this mean that there will be a policing of threads to look for possible hi jack attempts, when in reality a deviation from the original subject could actually be a different way of looking at things.Something which even may stimulate conversation elsewhere.




and there lies the problem...



fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:16:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

you can post what you want but not everyone is going to like what you say


Definitely.  The problems start when other posters, of a brittle nature don't understand that and think it's their mission to fully explain themselves or they get wildly upset about things that don't make any difference.  It's as if a person's dysfunction becomes magified to gigantic proportions.  Sometimes it's fun to watch, sometimes it's scary to think that these are adults, and badly functioning ones at that.



i guess what intrigues me--note i said intrigues and not bothers, there's a world of difference--is that with threads like this is that a lot people say this in principle but then get upset or at least come across as upset on some level when people try to act it out.

what i'm trying to say is that we all know that we have the right to say what we want and we know we can't control other people's reactions. we know we don't like it when people do it to us, so we get upset at being called a hijacker or whatever those silly titles were earlier in the thread. but it's okay for us to start telling people they need that they need to grow thicker skins when they attempt to open up their own dialouge with their own reactions? i guess it comes down to me to that whole issue of letting a thread die that *some* people seem to be adverse to--if you don't post on it, it goes away.

there's a conference paper here somewhere but i have to get a pen and some paper out to map it out better...



Lucylastic -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:21:58 AM)

Dayam Ron, that was awesome
Lucy



Level -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:22:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

So, does this mean that there will be a policing of threads to look for possible hi jack attempts, when in reality a deviation from the original subject could actually be a different way of looking at things.Something which even may stimulate conversation elsewhere.


There's the potential problem, I think.
 
Of course, sometimes it's quite obvious when a hijacking is occuring, but looking at some of the OPs in those cases, may lead one to ask, what's worse, the stupid fucking OP/question/statement, or the stupid fucking responses (my own included)?



mnottertail -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:24:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

So, does this mean that there will be a policing of threads to look for possible hi jack attempts, when in reality a deviation from the original subject could actually be a different way of looking at things.Something which even may stimulate conversation elsewhere.

Are we now to see posts from people self policing a thread, 'oops, can't say that, it might be off topic' or others posting to tell someone they are off topic, something which might only be in their view.

I see the forums as conversation and as conversation is, it is common for conversation to lead elsewhere. All it takes if a thread to be kept online, is the occaisional prompt.



I see this as a non-issue today, my personal view is that 11 has the ability to discern along the lines of intentions, usually.  I suspect that 11 is making a point here for dramatic effect that the situation is too far out of hand for day-to-day operations,  and the pendulum is going to swing the other way for some time until it settles in the middle again. A trade off between the more dominant posters and the shyer ones, giving everyone some type of voice.

I would have to think that a different view will be tolerated (the announcement gives some acknowledgement and leniency towards 'drift'.)  I have actually been intimately involved in a couple of situations in which 11 has shown great understanding and discretion.  11 has the persona to  uphold  here as the Designated Annihilator..........how else do you keep 200k+ jackasses in line without a theme and a message?

I think everybody is overreading into this.  But it seems to be time to keep the clam chowder recipies in the recipe thread and not in the what grease does mistress use on her dildo thread.  I would not look to invite the wrath of Khan upon myself for the next few weeks.

You pretty much know if you been naughty or nice, and if done with a good heart, you may be home free, but everyone takes the risk of having the boom lowered regardless of intentions.

Ron



KatyLied -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:26:06 AM)

I think many people are more comfortable dealing within a tight boundary of behavior and I would also state that the owners of the board also feel this way as they want to keep the threads on topic.  Yeah, we may miss some good stuff, but I guess that's what starting a new thread is all about.  I do agree though that it does dampen a thread from going where it is meant to go.



LaTigresse -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:27:37 AM)

I agree 100%.

Lord knows I have contributed to the decline and misbehaviour of more than a few drunks, whoremongers and ne'er-do-wells.....grinning here.......BUT, quite often, as mentioned, a hijack is a delightful and educational improvement to a thread.

So, for me, saying that ALL hijacking is terrible and must cease is rather appalling. I've learned alot from these forums and I would venture to say a great deal of it has been when things have gone off topic.

So for me, the question is........where do the lines get drawn? You could say "have a wonderful day" to someone with all the best intentions and piss up someones leg. You just cannot please all of the people all of the time. Unfortunately, those with the most personal issuuuuuuuues tend to have the thinnest skins and run crying to mommy and daddy screaming "Billy was being mean to me!!!!" the most. Then mommy and daddy have to come running to the rescue ruining the playdate for everyone involved and sadly, the whiny child hasn't learned anything positive at all. It only reinforces their own bad behaviour and coping skills.

I also compare it to book banning. Sure, there will be books/subjects/words, that will offend. The answer is quite simple. Don't read those books! Banning them from everyone's eyes is not the answer to the problem. Most of the time, even the harshest material has something to be learned in it. I know it has been the case for me. Those lessons don't even have to be about the subject at hand but rather the nature of human behaviour thanks to the participants. You can tell alot about a person by their actions under pressure. You can use that in your interactions with people in your own life.

For me, almost all of it has value. The stuff that doesn't TO ME, the Disneyland stuff that TheHeretic pointed out, I simply walk around. Novel concept I know. Unlike many people on here (apparently) no one forces me to read anything. Even more importantly, NO ONE forces me to react to what I read. I alone, have the choice over that.



Aneirin -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:29:39 AM)

You have a very good way with words Ron, a thorough and thought out post with humour.



LaTigresse -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:30:54 AM)

Then again, I may just have had too much coffee and time to ponder the subject on a Saturday morning...........



fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:32:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Then again, I may just have had too much coffee and time to ponder the subject on a Saturday morning...........


we're all pondering way too much this morning lol and i haven't had any coffee yet. on my way to starb*cks in hopes being able to find a table...



KatyLied -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:35:31 AM)

I think I will go for a walk.  I just read a post in a thread that I want to agree with.  But I think doing so (in written form, as a post in that thread) will either:
1) get me in trouble (because of who the op is and I'm not allowed to disagree with her)
or
2) stray the thread into off topic.
[;)]



fluffyswitch -> RE: Thread Hijacking (2/2/2008 6:37:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

(because of who the op is and I'm not allowed to disagree with her)




i'm probably going to get in trouble for 'jacking but i must be a bad poster because three quarters of the time i cant tell you who posted above me let alone know who the op is...



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