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BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:10:44 PM   
RedMagic1


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Some may know there's a thread in "Ask a Master" about BDSM and pregnant subs.  I got the impression that if all the posters were in the same room during the thread, people would have come to blows.  I found some posts violently ignorant and hateful.

So here's my question.  Is there a prejudice against pregnant women having sex, or kinky sex, in real life, or do mothers-to-be have to come to these message boards to satisfy their public humiliation kink?

I would also appreciate any safety tips and other pointers from people who have actually been there and done that.
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:16:20 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


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When a woman is pregnant, is in a relationship and is mnature and responsible in what she does. As long as she is heathly and the baby is too, there is not much a pregnant woman can't do within reason.

When you are not in a relationship, or know anyone that is into your kink and have to rely on finding strangers to play with, it may not be a wise thing to do.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:23:37 PM   
DisenchantedLife


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I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:25:10 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


I'd think having a healthy child is definitely worth sacrificing endorphins for a few months.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:28:25 PM   
SubinMaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


i disagree.  i am a "reasonable" adult.  i have consulted with my physician (kink friendly).  Continuing in my lifestyle of choice WITHIN REASON is not being selfish, it's being ME.  As long as my child is NOT in danger then that is all that matters.  Pregnant women CAN be submissive without having their bodies tied up in knots and hanging from a ceiling rafter. Sheesh.

i do not get it!? Do people REALLY think that pregnant women don't have sex?


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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:30:26 PM   
SubinMaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


I'd think having a healthy child is definitely worth sacrificing endorphins for a few months.


Again, for a lot of submissive's it's not about the endorphins....it's who you are.  It does not mean having "violent sessions" or "violent" sex.


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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:30:53 PM   
AquaticSub


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I know that having sex while pregnant is safe unless your doctor tells you otherwise. I wouldn't do a lot of impact play, but I think people should talk to their doctors as their situation could be unique.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:31:44 PM   
adoracat


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yes, its reasonable to wait if you arent in a stable relationship.

hot and cold running hormones, and a libido that may very well go into overdrive might cause you to not think so clearly (speaking from personal experience).

if you *are* in a stable relationship, i wouldnt put light BDSM play out of the plans as long as the pregant woman was in otherwise good health.  speaking as someone who went 6 months bedrest, and was not allowed much sexual activity at all, it can be frustrating.  (semen and sexual activity CAN bring about premature labor...and i was already having premature labor, so i was not allowed.  boo, hiss!)

kitten

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:32:55 PM   
SubinMaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I know that having sex while pregnant is safe unless your doctor tells you otherwise. I wouldn't do a lot of impact play, but I think people should talk to their doctors as their situation could be unique.

Exactly.  A good obgyn will tell you that sex right up until DELIVERY day can be both beneficial and comforting to the baby.  The only time they will tell you to abstain is if there's a medical problem that sex could aggravate, or, they'll tell you to stop when it gets "uncomfortable."


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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:33:00 PM   
camille65


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I don't think people are looking at the side of submission that doesn't involve bondage activities. As far as I've ever known, unless there is a medical problem then sexual activity is not something to be avoided. Nor is normal activity like working or cleaning your house. Now I wouldn't get involved with heavy play, or impact play. Light play though? Absolutely. But what 'I' consider light play someone else may consider heavy. Or the opposite. It's like there has been no meeting ground on any of this in regards to the other thread. Hopefully this one will be more informative.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:35:09 PM   
SubinMaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

yes, its reasonable to wait if you arent in a stable relationship.

hot and cold running hormones, and a libido that may very well go into overdrive might cause you to not think so clearly (speaking from personal experience).

if you *are* in a stable relationship, i wouldnt put light BDSM play out of the plans as long as the pregant woman was in otherwise good health.  speaking as someone who went 6 months bedrest, and was not allowed much sexual activity at all, it can be frustrating.  (semen and sexual activity CAN bring about premature labor...and i was already having premature labor, so i was not allowed.  boo, hiss!)

kitten


Semen will only bring about labor if the woman's body is "ready" for labor.  It works the same as an induction....if a woman is not effaced or dialated in any way, semen will not cause labor.  If you are predisposed to premature labor, it COULD, however, bring it about.


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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:36:39 PM   
ravennfyre


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.

(in reply to DisenchantedLife)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:37:34 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.



If my doctor says I can, I'm not considering it selfish to have sex and play while carrying a child.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ravennfyre)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:37:39 PM   
adoracat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

i do not get it!? Do people REALLY think that pregnant women don't have sex?



in a "been there, done that" sense.....  sometimes pregnant women are told NOT to have sex.  there is a chemical in normal semen that can cause softening of the cervix, and is why some women who have gone past their due date are told to have intercourse, to start the labor process.  this is entirely safe as long as your water hasnt broken.

i started having premature contractions at month 3.  so  bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy, and no nookie for the kitten.  frustrating, but that was the price to pay to have a healthy imp, so i did.

healthy women with unremarkable pregnancies are told "pretty much whatever within reason" up to month 7, when they're cautioned to take it a little easier as far as intercourse goes. 

kitten

(in reply to SubinMaine)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:38:47 PM   
scifi1133


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


i disagree.  i am a "reasonable" adult.  i have consulted with my physician (kink friendly).  Continuing in my lifestyle of choice WITHIN REASON is not being selfish, it's being ME.  As long as my child is NOT in danger then that is all that matters.  Pregnant women CAN be submissive without having their bodies tied up in knots and hanging from a ceiling rafter. Sheesh.

i do not get it!? Do people REALLY think that pregnant women don't have sex?

B the problem is they didnt get to argue enough on the other thread. So they came to a new one to do it again.
Not only is it safe to have sex while a woman is pregnant. Doctors will tell women who are near their birthing time to have sex and help labor along.
Do some research before spouting off.

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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:39:17 PM   
YourhandMyAss


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There is nothing wrong with continueing to have a life while pregnant. We're not talking about throwing her upside down and beating her here( or at least the pregnant women shouldn't be)

There's no reason a pregnant woman shouldn't seek out a relationship or do light play. If it's not going to harm your baby then there's no reason pregnant women should stop all kinky activities.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.

(in reply to DisenchantedLife)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:39:45 PM   
slavesunshine


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A pregnant woman can be submissive and want to serve and not have the hard impact play. There can be a submissive relationship without all the rest.
And I do not think its for anyone to judge a female for wanting to do so. If the Dom that she is with or the potential Dom does not mind that sub is pregnant, then its up to the two of them as to what they do and how far they take it.



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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:40:48 PM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennfyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I think a reasonable adult can wait until they're not a mother to be.  Talk about self indulgence and lack of patience.  It is ony 9 months.


Bravo!

I've read a blog on LJ from a woman/slave that had given birth recently and the thing she looked forward to most WASN'T her child, but was smoking a bowl while nursing, and a singletail. Scared me.

Patience is something we ALL need to work on...physically AND verbally...think twice, speak once.



So you would group a woman who is involved in the lifestyle with one who is a drug user?

Again, like Camille said, i think people are missing the point.  Submission is not 100% about SEX and BEATINGS. 


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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:41:02 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

yes, its reasonable to wait if you arent in a stable relationship.

hot and cold running hormones, and a libido that may very well go into overdrive might cause you to not think so clearly (speaking from personal experience).

if you *are* in a stable relationship, i wouldnt put light BDSM play out of the plans as long as the pregant woman was in otherwise good health.  speaking as someone who went 6 months bedrest, and was not allowed much sexual activity at all, it can be frustrating.  (semen and sexual activity CAN bring about premature labor...and i was already having premature labor, so i was not allowed.  boo, hiss!)

kitten


Semen will only bring about labor if the woman's body is "ready" for labor.  It works the same as an induction....if a woman is not effaced or dialated in any way, semen will not cause labor.  If you are predisposed to premature labor, it COULD, however, bring it about.



*nods*  which is why i said "can".  and why i also said "in otherwise good health".  normal unremarkable pregnancies are no reason to sit out sexual activity...nor light BDSM. 

i wouldnt be pulling out the heavy toys, but a bit of restraint, or spankings, i'd be going for it. 

kitten

(in reply to SubinMaine)
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RE: BDSM and the pregnant woman - 2/3/2008 5:41:34 PM   
Aylee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

So here's my question.  Is there a prejudice against pregnant women having sex, or kinky sex, in real life, or do mothers-to-be have to come to these message boards to satisfy their public humiliation kink?

I would also appreciate any safety tips and other pointers from people who have actually been there and done that.



Yes there is a prejudice about pregnant women having sex.  It comes from a lack of information and a great deal of misinformation. 

Safety tips?  Well, that really depends on the woman and the trimester.  But overall just take the ones that you get from your doctor and apply them over. 

It is a baby, not a calamity.

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I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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