The humiliation paradox

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

The humiliation paradox

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> The humiliation paradox

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:05:56 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

The first time I ever "make" a man eat his own cum, or cum on his own face, he often reacts to the situation with a great sense of conflict (desire to please vs. desire for self preservation) -- and he suffers his way through it, finds the experience to be a combination of disgusting and uncomfortable yet he cannot resist. I won't go into the delicious intensity that results because people know what I am talking about...

But -- what's fascinating is the transformation that happens in a matter of a few hours or the next day. When the sub looks back at the act, the act that disgusted him, he reflects on it with a sense of excitement and arousal. This happens time and time again. Suddenly, what was unthinkable and only happened because of the intensity of the moment is now a hot, HOT fantasy that was turned into reality, and he's drawn to the experience again -- he can't stop thinking about it. When he thinks about it, it TOTALLY turns him on.

I'm curious how many male submissives recognize this dynamic in themselves (and are you consciously aware of it as the discomfort with the act is right in your face?), and how many female submissives experience the same thing?

Have any new femdoms ever been a little shocked to find out a sub contacts them a few days after a humiliating task only to tell them it now turns him on more than ANYTHING to think about what he did?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:06:46 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:10:08 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love.

That's a great way to put it. I have always called it a "love/hate" thing (what I desire a submissive man to feel about certain acts) but that sometimes doesn't quite sum it up. The consistent thing about it is this: it's an act he'd never consider submitting to were he not put in a heightened state of arousal or submission, and his need to please/submit is greater than his need for self preservation. One word: HOT!

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:20:19 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Not male, but...uhm...ok...yes, yes, yes, I admit it.

I feel so free.
And so dirty...
And I LIKE it!
*g*

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:21:09 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/18/2004
Status: offline

i know what you mean. this feeling came about for me. when a mistress was standing over me.. i was lying on my back, she squated over my face , and let loose a golden shower.. although it was awfull the first time.. its something that now can cause an instant , climax form me.. gets me everytime... sub tony

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:26:23 PM

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Humiliation was terrifying and ugly before I ever tried it. Even when forced to try it, it was oh so terrible. But down the road, it became something so very sweet.

(in reply to thorse)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:30:41 PM

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

i can think of a million ways my Owner has brought that out of me, it's an awesome thing when it happens.

~meticulous~

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:31:45 PM

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

My first Mistress broke me of resistance or disgust very quickly with one phrase regarding eating my own cum. "if you expect Me to take that in my mouth, why would you refuse." it set the ground rules that anything i refused i would never experience the pleasures to which i had grown accustomed. there was no room to dispute, recoil or even question Her thought. Took all of about 10 seconds, but i guess that i am easy.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to thorse)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/4/2008 6:46:49 PM

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

It opens doors to other realms.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/5/2008 12:53:54 PM

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

This is why I have long called humiliation a "burning." It truly is something I love to hate and hate to love.

Thank you Lucky for putting it simple and true!

I was searching for the right word to describe the sensation that happens to me, and you penned it perfectly! Burning...oh my...

~Always the gleeful one~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/5/2008 1:07:25 PM

Posts: 151
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

I had something simular once when my mistress told me to pee myself in public. Now I wake up breathless thinking of it :)

(in reply to Gleegal67)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/5/2008 9:30:16 PM

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I couldn't agree more. The first time I was made to eat my own cum, it was a little difficult to do and get past it. But once I did, I began to crave it and now it's no big deal to do it. Same goes for piss play. Was a big turn off at first and when the first streams hit my face, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it through. But now, I also crave it, and can actually gulp it down with no issues. I can still find it humiliating - after all, I'm eating cum and drinking piss. But it's also a turn-on as well.

(in reply to Gwynsbitchboi)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/5/2008 9:54:17 PM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

It is the eroticism of the forbidden.
That which is taboo has a powerful pull.

(in reply to SubJordanTyler)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/5/2008 10:21:30 PM

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

There's another current thread that's very similar: "Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them". The act itself may actually be undesirable to the sub, but the feeling of being controlled to such an extent by the dominant is so arousing, the humiliation so exciting, that it's entirely possible to transfer that arousal to the act itself. I'd consider it a pretty powerful tool in the behavior modification arsenal of a domme.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/6/2008 2:56:25 PM

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

It's the fact that you can't stop thinking about those sorts of events afterwards that makes them so intense and transforming. As well as that you don't want to stop thinking about it. You keep re-living it again and again, in your mind, trying to deal with it and the ramifications. The "I can't believe she made me do that"; the "I just keep remembering my fear or what it felt like"; "if she could actually do that, what else could she make me do?" "I've crossed a line. Where will I be taken next?"

You crave both to get your mind around it and to re-live that flush of adrenilin and submission. Because that is always what you crave, but this was so intense that you keep playing it over and playing with it. You make it an obsession. And you want that intensity again. Not that it ever reaches that level again. But still, you can use the memory to increase the intensity the next time(s)

The first time I felt that feeling was when the blindfold was removed and I was allowed to pick up my head and see that it was not just "standard cbt" but that she had slid a sound deep inside me. At a club. With people watching. It also happened the first time a Mistress stood over me and let loose a stream of piss over my back... "to mark me".

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to hardbodysub)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/6/2008 4:45:23 PM

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

I have found that humiliation within a bdsm styled relationship tends to increase the intimacy, connection and trust factor between two people.

One of the biggest turnons for My pet is humiliation. Sometimes, it isn't pleasant for him, yet he gets off on it.. and because the areas of humiliation are such a vulnerable, exposing type place/places, it requires trust between the two people...

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The humiliation paradox - 2/6/2008 6:14:20 PM

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

It's all part of knowing that the hand that caresses can also rend.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> The humiliation paradox

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.102