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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Because if someone can accept the lowest part of your person, that's pretty big stuff for some people.  She shivers, it speaks to her on some level.  Because it's pretty cool to request of someone "please hurt me" and he gets it.

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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he example being discussed on the other thread was being shared with others but I realize this can be a complicated topic so I'll try to use a much more simple example. He mentioned buying me dog food once. My first thought was eeeewwwwww and then I noticed a shiver running through my whole body. I don't imagine I would ever actually enjoy eating dog kibble but being made to do things that make me scared, or upset or bring me to tears makes me feel somehow deeply content. It reminds me of my place with him and it allows me to fight and struggle and go through all sorts of inner turmoil and experience strong emotions and when I finally relent, let go and revel in his power over me I feel more alive than ever before. I would be very unhappy in a relationship where someone was not willing to make me do things I didn't enjoy.

I personnally don't see why someone would think they have to be treated this way to be loved or have a devoted relationship....I just don't get it.

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ORIGINAL: charlotte12

Confusing enough of a title for you?

I was going to post this in the Ask a Submissive section but realized it might be nice to hear from all sides on this.

Master wrote something in THIS thread that really resonated with me.  (I linked to his post, since the thread is quite long.) When responding to him and to something cherry wrote I had a lot of thoughts going and wanted to ask others about their experiences with doing things they don't enjoy.  I've said to Master many a time "Many of the things I enjoy I enjoy because I dont' enjoy them."  It makes perfect sense to me but I'm wondering if others enjoy this side of D/s. 

The example being discussed on the other thread was being shared with others but I realize this can be a complicated topic so I'll try to use a much more simple example.  He mentioned buying me dog food once.  My first thought was eeeewwwwww and then I noticed a shiver running through my whole body.  I don't imagine I would ever actually enjoy eating dog kibble but being made to do things that make me scared, or upset or bring me to tears makes me feel somehow deeply content.  It reminds me of my place with him and it allows me to fight and struggle and go through all sorts of inner turmoil and experience strong emotions and when I finally relent, let go and revel in his power over me I feel more alive than ever before.  I would be very unhappy in a relationship where someone was not willing to make me do things I didn't enjoy.

So my question is if there are any submissives out there that might share their thoughts or experiences on suffering for their Dom/Master.  Not light pain play that one actually finds enjoyable or being pushed to do something that one does in fact want to do but truly being brought to tears or made to do something you would fight tooth and nail to avoid if you weren't trying to submit to another. 

And are there any Doms/Masters out there that enjoy doing this with their submissive/slaves that would like to share how it makes you feel.  Not pushing them past a limit that you know they will ultimatly enjoy but making them do something you know they won't enjoy.

Just to note I am of course talking about consenting situations.  Master knows that even if I dont' enjoy a particular acitivity, by making me do this activity he is not doing anything to me that I didn't actively seek out.  He knows the things that would hurt me emotionally and steers clear of such damaging things.  I'm talking about the difference between both parties enjoying the actual acitivity that is occuring and both parties enjoying the power exchange that is occuring. 

Also, I have seen discussions where people debate whether you have do do things you don't enjoy to truly submit.  I don't want it to seem like I'm in that camp at all.  I realize that I might be on an extreme with this and am simply relating my own experience and am curious to hear what others think or their experience with this kind of interaction.  I certainly don't think that to submit fully or be enslaved there is some requirement that the Dom make the submissive do unpleasant things.  I am just saying it is a big part of who I am and would like to open up a discussion with others on this topic.  I usually like to just read the boards and I find myself gaining a lot of insight from the comments.  This topic has been on my mind so I thought I would actually start my own post and see what comes of it.

Happy Tuesday.

charlotte

*edited for linkage issues.

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ORIGINAL: softness

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ORIGINAL: goodgirl08

I don't see how this could be appealing without an immense amount of love, devotion, and understanding.   I cant speak for all the girls posting in support of what charlotte is saying, but for myself ... yes ... it was only ever possible because of an overflowing sense  of love and devotion .. this is not something that happens in casual play for me.

I do see how it is appealing, and agree that it is. But there is something awful about the thought of this kind of stuff happening casually. But, BDSM practices are always toeing the line between freedom and darkness.

What if it goes too far? What if you are made to do things that are bad FOR you? What if he convinces you not to follow the dreams you have, convinces you that he is your only purpose in life? So fucked up. I'm not trying to make you doubt yourself, I'm just thinking about all the bad shit that could happen in the wrong situation. How do you know if you're in the wrong situation?

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ORIGINAL: softness

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ORIGINAL: goodgirl08

I don't see how this could be appealing without an immense amount of love, devotion, and understanding.   I cant speak for all the girls posting in support of what charlotte is saying, but for myself ... yes ... it was only ever possible because of an overflowing sense  of love and devotion .. this is not something that happens in casual play for me.

I do see how it is appealing, and agree that it is. But there is something awful about the thought of this kind of stuff happening casually. But, BDSM practices are always toeing the line between freedom and darkness.

What if it goes too far? What if you are made to do things that are bad FOR you? What if he convinces you not to follow the dreams you have, convinces you that he is your only purpose in life? So fucked up. I'm not trying to make you doubt yourself, I'm just thinking about all the bad shit that could happen in the wrong situation. How do you know if you're in the wrong situation?

because i am intelligent, confident, secure and ultimately I can think for myself ... personally, and I have been flamed for this in the past and have no worries about being flammed for it again, I think that if you are weak enough or insecure enough or stupid enough to let yourself be pushed to places it is unhealthy for you, you are as much to blame as the person that puts you there. You are a human, you have a brain and you are an adult. You hvae no excuses unless you are imprisoned, and those poor unfortunates tend not to be given access to the internet.

Submission and slavery are all about choice. a FREE choice. that is what makes them special and beautiful and meaningful, because we choose to do what it is that we do. If you do not have the equipment to make and sensibly maintain that choice .. then do not make it. If you are persuaded that you have no choice ... then more fool you.

Many on here *feel* as if they have no choice ... or value the other option in as meaningless ... but whichever way you cut it we all have a choice.

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ORIGINAL: Aubre

At some level I think there is a type of sub who wants to serve someone they don't find physically attractive. They want to be made to do things they don't like to someone they physically find repulsive. Perhaps on some level they feel that they aren't worthy of an attractive partner.

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ORIGINAL: softness

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ORIGINAL: goodgirl08

I don't see how this could be appealing without an immense amount of love, devotion, and understanding.   I cant speak for all the girls posting in support of what charlotte is saying, but for myself ... yes ... it was only ever possible because of an overflowing sense  of love and devotion .. this is not something that happens in casual play for me.

I do see how it is appealing, and agree that it is. But there is something awful about the thought of this kind of stuff happening casually. But, BDSM practices are always toeing the line between freedom and darkness.

What if it goes too far? What if you are made to do things that are bad FOR you? What if he convinces you not to follow the dreams you have, convinces you that he is your only purpose in life? So fucked up. I'm not trying to make you doubt yourself, I'm just thinking about all the bad shit that could happen in the wrong situation. How do you know if you're in the wrong situation?

because i am intelligent, confident, secure and ultimately I can think for myself ... personally, and I have been flamed for this in the past and have no worries about being flammed for it again, I think that if you are weak enough or insecure enough or stupid enough to let yourself be pushed to places it is unhealthy for you, you are as much to blame as the person that puts you there. You are a human, you have a brain and you are an adult. You hvae no excuses unless you are imprisoned, and those poor unfortunates tend not to be given access to the internet.

Submission and slavery are all about choice. a FREE choice. that is what makes them special and beautiful and meaningful, because we choose to do what it is that we do. If you do not have the equipment to make and sensibly maintain that choice .. then do not make it. If you are persuaded that you have no choice ... then more fool you.

Many on here *feel* as if they have no choice ... or value the other option in as meaningless ... but whichever way you cut it we all have a choice.

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...experience strong emotions and when I finally relent, let go and revel in his power over me I feel more alive than ever before.  I would be very unhappy in a relationship where someone was not willing to make me do things I didn't enjoy.

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ORIGINAL: Mavis

Thanks for posting this thread, i am sooo right there with the excerpt:

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...experience strong emotions and when I finally relent, let go and revel in his power over me I feel more alive than ever before.  I would be very unhappy in a relationship where someone was not willing to make me do things I didn't enjoy.

i wonder though, how many Leads find this harder to do than it sounds?  i mean, You spend time caring for and protecting, then doesn't it get harder to see Your charges in turmoil or distress, and understand we like that at times? 

i'm going to use some of these clips to help explain to my Leads in ways i haven't been able to express that it's not just ok, but it's healthy to allow me to revisit Their Dominance in difficult ways sometimes.  But i hope it doesn't come across as "Dom me this way please" cuz that's not what i mean to be saying, although i hope by showing how i like it, They'll find it exciting as well.  And then, there's the possibility They might not, would it then qualify as something i don't like, but will get off on denial?  lol.