RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping from the bottom

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/12/2004 6:38:07 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Topping from the bottom has a time and a place; I could guess the effect my actions are having on the person I am doing them to, but it makes more sense to have her let me know. What I choose to do with the information I get is up to me, and I dont feel threatened by hearing it. From my opinion the Top should have a high enough self-image to not consider suggestions from the bottom as a threat to their Dominance.

I agree with you.

My question is, and this is getting into semantics I know because I think so far the last few posters are agreeing, isn't it all in the way it is communicated? I have no issues when a sub asks for a time out to talk about something. But it better be for a good reason.

I'm not into punishment to be honest. I don't want to be a mom so why would I want to discipline someone else. I like the game however, the challenges and if they get feisty then I fight fire with fire and that is all part of the tango. Those bratting or baiting usually get turned away by me. And quickly.

- LA

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/12/2004 9:11:57 PM

angelthighhighs

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i don't doubt for one moment that i am submissive...to One (well, when i find him ) but being a submissive is only part of who i am. i am also considered opinionated...fiesty, outspoken. that doesn't make me a brat though, i believe the difference between being a playful, fiesty opinionated sub and a brat is that while i'm that way i still remain curtious. if its while "playing around" the difference is knowing when to stop. someone that is just playful most of the time is doing so for the benefit of others...to make them smile, or laugh. a brat on the other hand most of the time forgets to remain curteous...they have no idea when its time to stop and i believe are doing so for their OWN benefit. they could care less about others. i also believe that one that is constantly a brat perhaps may check themselves out more closely. if you are being an outright brat, especially to your Master/Mistress uumm perhaps you haven't actually surrendered to them.

when one is expressing their needs to a Dominant its usually done in a manner that is calm, polite and not questioning their authority. its usually done in a way that leaves opening for the two to discuss whats being said. i believe when topping from the bottom they're just stating this is what i want...the hell with what you want.

all of what i've said is of course just my opinion...

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/12/2004 11:26:16 PM

Sinergy

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Hello,

quote:

My question is, and this is getting into semantics I know because I think so far the last few posters are agreeing, isn't it all in the way it is communicated? I have no issues when a sub asks for a time out to talk about something. But it better be for a good reason.

Im not sure I agree that it is getting into semantics. The problem with communication has been a real issue for people since the dawn of mankind.

As Douglas Adams said in Hitchhikers. "The Babel Fish, having removed all barriers to communication between different species, had spawned more wars than anything prior..."

But I digress.

I agree with you that it is how it is communicated. However, I dont expect my sub after a sound thrashing and ravaging to be able to elucidate her thoughts and emotions about complex subjects as well as she (presumably) could after 2 hours at Starbucks drinking Frappuchino Lights and discussing philosophy.

On a related note, I was chatting with a woman at the place I go dancing, and at one point (she teaches high school) she looked at me and said it had been over 20 years since she had heard a man refer to Kafka intelligently in a sentence to back up what he was talking about. Im not sure whether that is a good thing, but I suspect it is a thing.

But I digress.

In your comment about it better be for a good reason, I agree with you in a sense. I personally would set that as a ground rule, but I would also bear in mind to take into consideration that my submissive thought it was important enough to ask for a time-out,
so I would probably find out why. As usual, what I do with that information is my own.

Sinergy

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/13/2004 3:42:40 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelthighhighs
if you are being an outright brat, especially to your Master/Mistress uumm perhaps you haven't actually surrendered to them.

Or maybe you should not be subbing?

One of the questions I ask subs that I get involved with is "why are you a sub". (In all fairness, I have reflected on why I am a Domme and will share that with them.)

I am under the impression that most subs that are always bratting are not happy with their role as subs...

- LA

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/13/2004 3:55:52 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

Or maybe you should not be subbing?

One of the questions I ask subs that I get involved with is "why are you a sub". (In all fairness, I have reflected on why I am a Domme and will share that with them.)

I am under the impression that most subs that are always bratting are not happy with their role as subs...

I agree with this completely because while the trappings of bdsm (single tails, wax play, flogger play, cheerleader outfits, anal sex (FOCUS, SINERGY!)) are amusing, what torques my nut are people's motivations.

Im not sure I have the same impression about people bratting all the time, but I would definitely wonder if somebody acted bratty all the time.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/14/2004 4:26:24 PM

Mondschein

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Basically I don't like any tactic that is not upfront communication. I'm very open to discuss anything and everyone who knows me is certain of it. But I do like some playful bratting from subs, and I have done it myself w/ Doms. When it is play, it is all good, but when it is serious matters, just speak up!!!

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/14/2004 5:13:12 PM

iwillserveu

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quote:

Stop making this all about you.

From the person who demanded I acknowelge her post. Yeah, the ego problem is all mine.

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/14/2004 6:54:57 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

quote:

Stop making this all about you.

From the person who demanded I acknowelge her post. Yeah, the ego problem is all mine.

You're a cute one iwill. I'll give you that.

- LA

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 3:27:52 PM

angelthighhighs

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or perhaps its just to that one...they may have a whole different attitude towards someone else. i know for me when i am with One that i feel in my soul is my Master i do whatever i can to please him. but if i'm with one that i don't, well, uumm good luck on him. but i at least know that for me this isn't a game. so i would rather be alone that "play" at submitting to one.

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 3:28:54 PM

angelthighhighs

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turns a fan in Sinergy's direction as she notices some beads of persperation form on his brow

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 5:28:15 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelthighhighs
or perhaps its just to that one...they may have a whole different attitude towards someone else.
...
so i would rather be alone that "play" at submitting to one.

You have a point. It may very well be a mismatch.

I'm honestly happy to hear you would not play with someone you don't feel all that strongly about. I know it isn't the case for everyone. Some people are looking for a BDSM relationship at any cost. I find that very sad indeed.

The powers that be were very cruel in that we find ourselves in a situation where there are many more male subs then there are Dominas (at least from my perspective). Some of the desperation I've seen is just mind blowing.

Some will settle even if it isn't their true "One" because they feel that nothing better will come along. And this isn't limited to the BDSM world as you most likely know.

- LA

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 6:23:10 PM

angelthighhighs

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its been a long search and i still haven't found him yet but i would rather be alone that with the wrong one. that doesn't mean that i don't have friends. nor does it mean that if i'm at a munch group/play party and wish to try something...ie single tail...and i have friend there that i trust, that i'm not going to try it. but that at least to me is different that playing...its more like and educational experience since there isn't any erotica involved.

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 7:06:53 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelthighhighs
its more like and educational experience since there isn't any erotica involved.

Erotica is the desire and sex is the act.

I cannot imagine an instance of BDSM (done well that is) that is not erotic for me.

Do you mean since there is no sex involved? You might mean erotica. Just curious.

- Lady Angelika

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RE: Bratting? Baiting? Brazen? Or just plain topping fr... - 7/15/2004 8:39:36 PM

angelthighhighs

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i mean that say the act of flogging, yes i find flogging erotic, but in this case i knew ahead of time that wasn't the supposed end result. it was just to give me a taste of what a flogger felt like. i was giving a waxing for my birthday, the Dungeon Master at the playparty poured the wax on me so i could experience what it felt like...sighs...but since i don't have a Master and out of respect he wouldn't physically touch me...i had to peel it off myself. but then the result wasn't to turn me on, but for me to see how hot is the wax, would it be something i would like to explore with a Master when i had one. sex was never involved in those situations.

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