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Obesity within the scene: health concerns, questions of... - 9/8/2005 6:05:08 AM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		I spoke with an insightful woman who is involved in the scene and the topic of health and physical appearance was discussed. One of the issues that we discussed was the perception that obesity of a degree that might result in medical complications (including decreased life expectancy, diabetes mellitus, hypertension, atherosclerosis, sleep apnea, and others) appeared to be common among both men and women that we have met in the scene. This post is not meant to be seen as judging the attractiveness or appeal of those in the community, but to see if we have a problem that is not being discussed (except in a “flame-like” manner).

I decided to look at this for female dominants in my state (Massachusetts) who are between the ages of 33 and 53, which is the approximate age range that I would think would be most likely to work for a long-term, loving relationship. These were obtained on a search of dominant women that I performed yesterday. Though one can argue that the sample is skewed and not representative of those at Collarme or not representative of those within the BDSM community, the results are sobering.

I did take height into account, and calculated the body mass index (BMI) based upon height and weight. This is a more standardized means of determining whether someone is obese or not. A total of 14 women did not state their weight. These included one self-described “BBW” and at least two others who I personally can attest to as being obese.

1. Weight

Of the women who listed their weights, these were (in descending order, in pounds):

275, 270, 250, 220, 191, 150, 135 (a prodomme), 130, 125, 125, 120 (a prodomme), 110 (a prodomme), 98 (a prodomme)

2. The body mass index of the women (in descending order of BMI, with classification):

Morbidly obesity
47.8
47.2
---------------
Obese
39.2
39
---------------
Overweight
25.9
---------------
Normal
24.2
22.5 (a prodomme)
20.8
20.8 (a prodomme)
20.4
20.2
20.0 (a prodomme)
18.5 (a prodomme)

What this says to me is that weight is not merely an issue of attraction or a lack of attraction. Rather, there are a significant number of people within the community who are at a very real risk of health complications. The American society has a large fraction of overweight people, and as there was no suitable control group, it can be debated as to whether those within the BDSM community are, in general, more likely to be obese than are “typical Americans.” Nevertheless, this is clearly a health issue.

Any thoughts on why there are such a large number of obese (and even morbidly obese) people within the community?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:17:22 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:


I decided to look at this for female dominants in my state
If health is your concern, I'm wondering why you only looked at female dominants.
Also wondering why being a pro or not factored in (was mentioned)? M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BostonGuy)
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RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:24:40 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Any thoughts on why there are such a large number of obese (and even morbidly obese) people within the community?
I'll explain my reason: I like good food, and would rather die younger while doing whatever I want, than live to be 110 doing "the healthy thing."
I can't speak for other people's health, but so far, mine is awesome, so, unless everyone comes on and admits to their ailments, I can't tell who is generally healthier and happier.
How nice is this reply? Not one indication of cynicism stating why in the world would you personally care about my health if chances are we'll never meet. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BostonGuy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:37:10 AM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:


I decided to look at this for female dominants in my state
If health is your concern, I'm wondering why you only looked at female dominants.
Also wondering why being a pro or not factored in (was mentioned)? M


These are fair questions. I would like to find a loving, long-term relationship with someone who is likely to be with me -- and be healthy -- for a long time. This is an initial inquiry into what I have observed. I think that others may wish to look at other groups of people to see if these results can be generalized to those within the community.

As to the notation of specific individuals as prodommes, they are likely to be here for different reasons than are those people who hope to meet someone with whom they are compatible for a non-commercial relationship. Financial pressures and the very real difficulty of obtaining and, ultimately, retaining clients makes it less likely that they are obese than other members of the BDSM community. Thus a cogent argument can be made that they are not representative of people who are actively seeking the same types of relationships if they are self-described as prodommes, though in their personal lives they have the same hopes, wishes, and emotional needs as do the rest of us.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:47:31 AM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline 		BlkTallFullfig's answer reminds me of the answer to the question "How does one reach very old age" :
"By not doing what makes you want to live old"

In Russia people say "Kto nje pyot'..." OK in english : "Who doesn't drink nor smoke dies in good health". Is that what you want, Bostonguy ?

edit for typos

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/8/2005 6:49:19 AM >

(in reply to BostonGuy)
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RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:51:24 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

BlkTallFullfig's answer reminds me of the answer to the question "How does one reach very old age" :
"By not doing what makes you want to live old"
Exactly! You are growing on me Frenchpet. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to frenchpet)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:55:23 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

BlkTallFullfig's answer reminds me of the answer to the question "How does one reach very old age" :
"By not doing what makes you want to live old"

In Russia people say "Kto nje pyot'..." OK in english : "Who doesn't drink nor smoke dies in good health". Is that what you want, Bostonguy ?

edit for typos


A while back, a researcher discovered that one way to make certain animals live longer was to starve them http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/08/eveningnews/main514443.shtml

For me, I'll take the short life and the full meals. Life is not how long it was, but how full it was.



_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to frenchpet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:57:18 AM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

In Russia people say "Kto nje pyot'..." OK in english : "Who doesn't drink nor smoke dies in good health". Is that what you want, Bodtonguy ?


What I want is probably what many people want: a loving long-term relationship with someone who is active, healthy, and is likely to remain so in the absence of a tragic, unanticipated medical event. Sadly, obesity is associated with an increased risk of numerous medical illnesses and the likelihood of difficulty in maintaining an active life as the person ages. In a given individual, these may not occur just as we all are aware of smokers who live to be a ripe old age. From an epidemiologic perspective, obesity has a clearly causal role in many health problems, just as does smoking. Obesity is well established as a public health concern at a societal level.

Rather than personalize this thread, I would like to hear the thoughts of people as to why this phenomenon occurs within the BDSM community -- among both men and women.

(in reply to frenchpet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:57:36 AM   
Dr24


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		Could it not perhaps be the lifestyle we live as in giving ourselves over to absolute pleasure? Food is often a pleasure - a sin of the flesh if you may? I kow peronally I neva know when to stop be it eating, working out, I even phuck myself that way .. I gotta do it til I cant anymore and Im the same with everything ....

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 6:58:04 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I would like to find a loving, long-term relationship with someone who is likely to be with me -- and be healthy -- for a long time. This is an initial inquiry into what I have observed. I think that others may wish to look at other groups of people to see if these results can be generalized to those within the community.
So this inquiry is not like allllllllll the others who are mostly a rant by men wanting to know why more women don't look more perfect (according to their standards); this one is more because you care about our health?
It's perfectly kool to want your lady to live to whatever your heart desires, and to want your partner to be healthy (and all the better if she makes for awesome eye candy)...
The reason I asked my short questions is because I really don't believe you care that some of us are overweight or morbidly obese; you only care because it's decreasing the numbers from which you can choose. Unfortunately, that is life, them's the breaks. Most of us go looking for the ellusive "right match." I hope I can recognize mine even if he is not exactly perfect. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BostonGuy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 7:02:25 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Could it not perhaps be the lifestyle we live as in giving ourselves over to absolute pleasure? Food is often a pleasure - a sin of the flesh if you may? I kow peronally I neva know when to stop be it eating, working out, I even phuck myself that way
Nope! I've been a size 18-20 for about 15years now. I didn't beging enjoying absolute pleasure (in the way you mean) until the last 5-10years, and only became involved in this lifestyle in the last 2-3years. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Dr24)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 7:08:37 AM   
Dr24


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		Ya but what I mean is that its always been with us this life stlye . maybe we've not been living out sexual fantasy for our whole lifes but we've always had this live life to the fullest urge .. that satisy our every desire? Im not saying there's anything wrong with being over weight but .. do u understand my point? Its not really about being over weight or about sexual activity its more about the way us 'type' live our lives? Well ok Im generalising based on me and what I do but .. well you know what Im tryna get at!!!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 7:28:16 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Ya but what I mean is that its always been with us this life stlye . maybe we've not been living out sexual fantasy for our whole lifes but we've always had this live life to the fullest urge
I disagree. I'm mostly controlled, and mostly very aware that life is not about the relentless pursuit of ?happiness (weather from other bodies, food, drinking, drugging, money, etc).
I'm aware/considerate of others and their needs, not just mine, so that I usually am not greedy... Not even greedy when it comes to food; I've sat accross plenty of smaller people who eat more than I.
I think that people in general are bigger, and people in general don't find stairmaster fun/thrilling, and good food tastes good.
I'll confess that the two activities I don't mind sweating to are dancing and sex, and life is keeping me a little busy for one, and the good girl trapped in a bad girls body is not permitting me enough of the other.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Dr24)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 7:48:41 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		yeah ok.
male
52
a bit over weight..yeah...maybe 2o lbs? i dont smoke, or drink or gamble or have sex or any other damned thing......
i stay home taking care of Her house and Her needs.........while i cuss at myself for allowing someone else in this damned world to stop me from enjoying MY life in MY way............
i wish i could go back to smoking and drinking and woman chasing.........at least i had fun then.
but oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

the world has-to stick its nose into everyone's life and claim it is so damned perfect........

okay..to the thread starter............hey yo............what is YOUR height and weight and YOUR limitations? do YOU smoke or drink or carrry on? are YOU so perfect that this set of standards is SO needed???????????????/



WOLF!~


_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 8:11:03 AM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

yeah ok.
male
52
a bit over weight..yeah...maybe 2o lbs? i dont smoke, or drink or gamble or have sex or any other damned thing......
i stay home taking care of Her house and Her needs.........while i cuss at myself for allowing someone else in this damned world to stop me from enjoying MY life in MY way............
i wish i could go back to smoking and drinking and woman chasing.........at least i had fun then.
but oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

the world has-to stick its nose into everyone's life and claim it is so damned perfect........

okay..to the thread starter............hey yo............what is YOUR height and weight and YOUR limitations? do YOU smoke or drink or carrry on? are YOU so perfect that this set of standards is SO needed???????????????/



WOLF!~



It seems that in the majorities of those threads that are approached in a reasonable way, someone will attempt to personalize the thread in a very negative way and initiate flaming. Let us not take the bait people. I am finding this to be a worthwhile discussion and one that need not descend to this level.


(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 9:42:22 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

BlkTallFullfig's answer reminds me of the answer to the question "How does one reach very old age" :
"By not doing what makes you want to live old"

In Russia people say "Kto nje pyot'..." OK in english : "Who doesn't drink nor smoke dies in good health". Is that what you want, Bostonguy ?

edit for typos


A while back, a researcher discovered that one way to make certain animals live longer was to starve them http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/08/eveningnews/main514443.shtml

For me, I'll take the short life and the full meals. Life is not how long it was, but how full it was.





Thats exactly how I feel about life. You have to do what makes you happy now. Live your life like you are dying and do whatever it takes to be happy.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 12:50:15 PM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005

Thats exactly how I feel about life. You have to do what makes you happy now. Live your life like you are dying and do whatever it takes to be happy.


Recognize that many of the complications of such activities as smoking, obesity, alcohol abuse, and other activities that are not done in moderation are not simply a painless and early demise. Rather, there may be many years of chronic illness that makes the statement "Live your life like you are dying...slowly, an organ at a time" a more accurate one. This is not what I wish nor is this what most people wish. Moderation in caloric intake and regular exercise are a small price to pay to help maintain a good quality of life.

The knowledge that peripheral vascular disease resulting in erectile dysfunction (yes guys, this can happen too) and in amputations of feet or legs are many-fold more common in people with diabetes, for which obesity is an established risk factor, is something that people should consider. The quality of life that many people envision is one that includes not only what makes them "happy now" but the hope that they will have happiness later. To have a life limited to a sedentary existence due to obesity, and the increased risk of amputations, retinal damage, stroke, coronary artery disease, or kidney disease requiring dialysis as a result of diabetes does not strike me as "happy." This slow, downward progression of health may well be preventable.

I am going to sit back and observe the thread rather than make additional comments. I think that my perspective on this health issue has been well communicated.

(in reply to perfection20005)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 1:16:20 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BostonGuy


What this says to me is that weight is not merely an issue of attraction or a lack of attraction. Rather, there are a significant number of people within the community who are at a very real risk of health complications. The American society has a large fraction of overweight people, and as there was no suitable control group, it can be debated as to whether those within the BDSM community are, in general, more likely to be obese than are “typical Americans.” Nevertheless, this is clearly a health issue.

Any thoughts on why there are such a large number of obese (and even morbidly obese) people within the community?


You are limiting yourself to only ONLINE kinky people. Would it be hard to believe that perhaps people who are online are less active? Maybe.

You also do yourself a disservice by limiting your kinky search to people through online personals or BDSM community get togethers. Of my femdom friends I know in real life, there's no skewed number of overweight femdoms, but they aren't looking for partners on collarme or bdsm munches.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to BostonGuy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 1:22:12 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BostonGuy

I am going to sit back and observe the thread rather than make additional comments. I think that my perspective on this health issue has been well communicated.


I think this comes pretty close to the definition of a troll "Someone who appears from nowhere with a statement designed to create dissention and vanishes."

quacks, walks, duck

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 9/8/2005 1:23:38 PM >

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www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Obesity within the scene: health concerns, question... - 9/8/2005 2:03:43 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I think this comes pretty close to the definition of a troll "Someone who appears from nowhere with a statement designed to create dissention and vanishes."

quacks, walks, duck
I know you weren't trying to be funny, but this made me smile.

I didn't even think about agreeing or disagreeing with him, because in the end each person's life/body/health is his or her concern. What I did had difficulty grasping was the posing of this as an altruistic inquiry especially given the absense of half of the equation (men in the scene).
I've already made my position clear, and my reasons for living the way I live (on my terms), so I guess like him, I will stand back and watch other dominas come and explain to him why we don't seem to take enough care to be "healthy/smaller", and live long. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 20
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