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Turning off the Switch? - 2/9/2008 10:12:19 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		So tell me,
how hard is it to turn off the Switch inside of You?
 
Seriously, do You wake up one day and say
today I'm going to be Submissive,
but the next become the Domm inside of You?
 
How quick do you change?
 
quote:

"If I scream, can I go home then?"
 
As Always, ant
 

< Message edited by knees2you -- 2/9/2008 10:37:09 PM >
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/10/2008 3:19:48 AM   
achildatheart


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		It all depends with for me. With my pet (we are both switches) and we can easily switch back and forth with each other. It can get confusing at times because he can be Top one second and then sub the next with out notice hehe. When I talk with Dom/me I don't turn on my sub side just by talking to them they have to earn my trust before I can do that.

_____________________________

"be a dominatrix geez.......make him do what he's told"~Friend

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/15/2008 3:18:32 AM   
AlphaFem1960


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline 		For myself it's easy.I submit to my Dominant who is also my partner and lover.I am Domme to my subs..I never switch with them.
So both sides of my oh so complicated personality are met lol.

(in reply to achildatheart)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/16/2008 2:12:16 AM   
Zmey


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline 		For me it isn't exactly like a switch. It's a dominant and submissive personality in one body. It dynamically adjusts to my partner or to my own desires. Apparently I'm more dominant when I'm drunk 

(in reply to AlphaFem1960)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/16/2008 10:46:35 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It's different for all of us.  I do most of my Mistressing online.  I love answering questions, getting people to open up and admit their deepest desires, and helping them.

I save my submissiveness for one Master who I normally only see once a month in person.  However, when I go to sleep alone each night it is Him that I think of and not my sub admirers.  When I need strength to handle something during the day it is His strength that I pull on, picturing Him standing by my side as my guide and protector - not picturing salivating slaves at my feet.


_____________________________



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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/19/2008 3:26:26 PM   
nianque


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		you are definitely right there.  I constantly tell people I have a dual personality and i am not joking.  I feel in chaos when one has not been met for a long time.  Its only when I find balance of both am I right as rain.

(in reply to Zmey)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/19/2008 6:47:16 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

Apparently I'm more dominant when I'm drunk 


This worries me and I will leave it at that.

lovingpet

(in reply to Zmey)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/19/2008 7:07:27 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am about as complicated a switch as there is (at least it seems that way when I try to put it in words lol).  Keep in mind that I have not had the pleasure of trying out all of the different flavors of my desires in the real.  I have certain real and online interests in which chemistry allows me different relationships.

I have a relationship in which I am completely submissive.  There is not a thought in the world of ever being anything else.  The dominant's position is one of complete control.  I will occasionally find myself fighting with myself, but never really with him, though he may get a portion of the battle in my outward behavior.

I have one for whom I am her Miss and I will be sure that she knows exactly who is who.  There is no mistaking it.  I have no trouble taking her in hand and doing as I please with her.  Oh, and how I know she worships me and is a good little girl in my absence.

There is one in which the switch occurs based on the scene we wish to play or on who takes control first.  The beginning of these scenes, or the whole scene (oh, those can get hot and deliciously violent), are quite volitile until the final dominate is determined, if it ever is.  Normally it is and usually goes in favor of the huge, sweaty, and brooding man.

Now, the one that is most interesting is when I play with a friend of mine and we switch based on sheer intuition.  We may start play just based on what seems fun for the day and all of a sudden it is so very clear what one of us needs.  Often it is the other that senses it and will force a change in the scene.  Flagrant denial sets in and a refusal to make the change (particularly fun when one must dethrone a dominant hehehe).  After it is all over, however, it always seems to be the case that there was a real need and a passionate desire that needed worked through.  There is a deep peace for both of us and we know just how much we love each other because of how we intervened on each other's behalf.

I know I have just made things clear as mud, but I don't think there is a switch to turn on and off.  It is an innate part of who a switch is.  It may be abated in the presence of certain people or stimulated by others, but it is there and affects how he or she operates.  It may be to a greater or lesser degree than me, but no less a part of their being.  I know this is true of me and that others may view it differently.  I just don't see how something so pervasive can truly be turned on and off like a faucet. 

Regards,
lovingpet

< Message edited by lovingpet -- 2/19/2008 7:30:16 PM >

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/19/2008 11:07:40 PM   
Violently


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Uk West Midlands
Status: offline 		I find it easier to be Dominant than to be submissive. I have to consciously choose not to engage in a power struggle when being submissive.

Having said that, I think some people make that easier and some people make it really hard.

V

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/20/2008 7:54:58 AM   
moonflowerfemme


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline 		LovingPet I adored your complicated explanation and it seems pretty clear to me! LOL

(in reply to Violently)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/20/2008 3:57:38 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonflowerfemme

LovingPet I adored your complicated explanation and it seems pretty clear to me! LOL



Well, thank you so much for getting me!  It is not that often anyone does (hehehe), and that is okay.  Them crazy, complicated switches!!!

lovingpet

(in reply to moonflowerfemme)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/20/2008 4:47:22 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't switch roles with the same partner unless requested to by a D type.  I identify with people based on my feelings and the role is invoked from those feelings.  In other words, there's no way in hell I would personally want to top a Dominant male or want a submissive male to top me.  Switches are a little different.  I have yet to enter into an ltr with one but the ones I know well as friend do seem to be able sustain either role and it's difficult identify with them as only one role.  It has never some toss of the dice, in the middle of a scene type thing for me though.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/22/2008 5:38:03 AM   
TaintedEyes


Posts: 25
Joined: 2/21/2008
From: World Citizen
Status: offline 		The switch, so to speak, is more often than not, instinct. At least for me it is.

I'm a highly dominant person in my daily life. I lead projects, groups, I'm outspoken and I enjoy it. However, I also have a large desire to have the knowledge that even though I am this way, there is the thought that I have someone where I don't need to be that way. I trust them enough to give up the control, to submit, and it won't hurt me to do so in the long run.

It really depends on the other person. There are just some people you know are dominant or submissive, and in a general sense, you often take up the other role when just in their presence, let alone under their attentions.

-T.E.

_____________________________

I am the White Rabbit. So if you dare and if you please, follow me and you shall see just how adventurous my thoughts can be.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/22/2008 1:15:06 PM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		To the OP,
I am a Dom at work, home and life. I sub/bottom about once every 5-6 years. It would take a very special person to get the sub side out. I have bottomed to get the masochist happy who also lives in Me. I don't Switch in either relationship with My sub or slave. That doesn't seem to work for Me but things can change. Just My thoughts.
LordVelvet

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It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not - Van Zant

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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/26/2008 11:25:27 AM   
Eiseria


Posts: 79
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

So tell me,
how hard is it to turn off the Switch inside of You?
 
Seriously, do You wake up one day and say
today I'm going to be Submissive,
but the next become the Domm inside of You?
 
How quick do you change?
 
quote:

"If I scream, can I go home then?"
 
As Always, ant
 


My Dom and sub have names.    It's a lovely switch. 

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/27/2008 7:50:44 AM   
OWNMYHEART


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		i think its all about the feeling for me. how fast i change from Dom to Sub depends on alot of things, however. from how bad my day was at work, to smaller things, like what music i have on and what ive been writting about for the last few weeks, some times i can feel Dom/Sub for a few weeks time, but i know in my heart that im not, i like to feel what its like on both sides the fence.  when i wanna feel owned or im atleast in that head space i find my self more shy and when i feel dom more out going.

i think its more about adatudd then anything and thats also mostlikey why switches get a bad wrap, because most people call switchs the odd balls. infact i think most switches are more likey to be in lasting realtionships, because one person just doesnt owning the other, they both put there all in to owning each other.

hope that make sence to people


(in reply to Eiseria)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/27/2008 11:03:29 PM   
sub4sub123


Posts: 51
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think in every person's personality, there are all traits and that there are some that are more predominate than another.  With a switch I would surmize that they have just developed both personality types equally.  I am more dominate with other people then my partner and can exhert myself effectivley, yet with my partner I am submissive.

(in reply to OWNMYHEART)
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RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/27/2008 11:05:26 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

So tell me,
how hard is it to turn off the Switch inside of You?
 
Seriously, do You wake up one day and say
today I'm going to be Submissive,
but the next become the Domm inside of You?
 
How quick do you change?
 



That's a good example of why I can't buy into the term... it carries such a specific connotation, and I just don't see it that way.  I don't know how many people here are musicians, but when someone changes from a soft passage to a fast one, or from major chords to minor ones, or inserts a classical quote in a jazz piece, nobody in the audience jumps up yelling 'Switch!'.
It is part of the creative process, creating and resolving tension between dissimilar components...

And in a power exchange relationship between two people, if both parties want a certain dynamic all the time, good for them. 
Other people prefer to explore more dimensions.

And that exploration can follow a very circuitous and interesting path, not neccessarily a linear either/or.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/28/2008 1:31:17 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Depends on the situation and the other person. I'm happier being on the sub side but I have wants and needs too and sometimes I just want control. I have pretty bad mood swings in general so I can't really stay in one mindset all of the time. It would drive me nuts to be some stupid puppet sub or slave and say Master all day long and actually write with the H/he crap I see people do. I'm too free willed and from such free will comes the need to be in control and be the goddess every now and again.

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Turning off the Switch? - 2/28/2008 10:18:54 PM   
AWingedGuardian


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Status: offline 		In regards to there actually being a mental switch, I might ponder the same thing myself.  However, I do realize that I am slowly becoming more dominant as time goes on; this happens for a few reasons, though.  Whenever I'm with my partner, I know that being the Dom is what she prefer I do, and enjoys most, thus the Sub in me tends to wish to fulfill that need and suddenly my mentality switches over...if anything, lately...being the Sub during anything is mostly just foreplay anymore...

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 20
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