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RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 8:51:13 AM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac
people resent it when you point out that they may have been careless and inconsiderate.

True that.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 9:01:27 AM

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

And here I was just innocently taking a break from doing my taxes....... and I find all this.

Thank you everyone for a great morning's entertainment.

Andrew,
What I find annoying is that it does not matter how precisely Master and I set my profile, there will be ones who ignore it. My choice is to let it get to me or not. As I tell my ums - we do not often get to choose what happens to us in this life; all we choose is how we react to it and our attitude towards it. Choose to be negative or positive. Choose to let little annoyances ruin your day, or go on your way. Choose to be nitpicky or look at the big picture. Choose to be the bigger person with a sense of humor or a pretentious prig.

My (admittedly unsolicited) advice: Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's a classic, really.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 9:13:39 AM

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

What I truly find a waste of time isn't people who've failed to accurately categorize their profile, but rather dominants who post petulant rants and lectures, thinly veiled as questions.

If I've allowed my time to be wasted, who should I really be annoyed with?

One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react. Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.

(in reply to camille65)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 9:14:02 AM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i've had plenty of people criticize me for what is or isn't in my profile...to the point they want to argue with me about it. i don't give a tinkers toot what people think of it, what i want in my profile is there...after all, it is MY profile right?

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 9:15:08 AM

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react. Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to TreasureKY)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 2:45:18 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

Ok, now that the sewer that this thread became has been cleaned up, it's open again. Folks who can't contain their enthusiasm for violating our rules will want to steer clear or adjust their behavior accordingly because we're well past the time for issuing warnings.

Thank you.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:03:49 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available? Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"?

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

No. Why on earth would it? I'd just hide the profile.

quote:

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

Remember? There is a query drop-down checklist that asks what you are looking for. One of the choices is "Friends Only".....after creating your profile, this option is accessible via "Edit Profile" on the Home page.

Yes. It also reflects that we are looking for submissive females.

quote:

3. Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

If not, why not? Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?

Sounds like you just wanted to remind people to change their profiles so you won't be bothered with them.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:05:54 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dude, do you have any idea how many female subs read these message boards? And female Dommes (not that you'd evvvvvver be interested in them I'm sure)? You haven't just shot yourself in the foot here -- you've blown one of your nuts clean off. It's time to beat a retreat. Do not fear -- I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.

Really? What do you have in mind?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:10:55 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I've been here a year or so and never noticed the drop down box. But it wouldn't annoy me if a person didn't fill out all those boxes. I'm a big girl, I can read profiles and decide on my own if there seems to be sufficient compatibility to contact someone. If I didn't get a response, then obviously he didn't feel the same. If I got a message saying he was taken, I wouldn't get upset. It takes two minutes to fire off an email and a lot less to read and delete. Why bother having a tantrum?

Nobody else is required to write their profile to my tastes.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to softness)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:17:09 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dude, do you have any idea how many female subs read these message boards? And female Dommes (not that you'd evvvvvver be interested in them I'm sure)? You haven't just shot yourself in the foot here -- you've blown one of your nuts clean off. It's time to beat a retreat. Do not fear -- I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.

Really? What do you have in mind?

We're not going there on this particular thread. Trust me, and walk away with both hands in plain sight.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:21:13 PM

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available? Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"?

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

Remember? There is a query drop-down checklist that asks what you are looking for. One of the choices is "Friends Only".....after creating your profile, this option is accessible via "Edit Profile" on the Home page.

3. Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

If not, why not? Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?

Dude, if you get so worked up over this type of issue, might i suggest a glass of wine, a big fat blunt, a 'lude... whatever works to chill your ass out?

This is a free site, i find it laughable to think i would be offended over someone elses profile.

If your time is too precious to be wasted on profiles, perhaps spending less time on the forums and more time in your local scene? Just a thought...

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:24:21 PM

Posts: 657
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline

Being brand spanking new to this site- I didn't notice the friends only option... I just adjusted my profile. Thanks for pointing it out... one day I will learn to read properly :)

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:27:15 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

OP: As has been pointed out, this is the internet. Taking things personally that happen in cyberspace is a waste of your emotion, time and energy. You're not going to find some refined method of digging through the many profiles, it's frustrating at times, but you won't change the nature of internet dating. You may find some very worthwhile, intelligent, well-rounded prospective partners if you stop going out of your way to alienate everyone and recognize that your role means nothing about whom you are as a human being. Drop the bad boy act and talk to people like people and be patient and you will find the results you are seeking.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:29:51 PM

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

Are you aware this is really a tech support issue?? The options aren't fitting my situation, so I chose nothing. I do say that I am taken in my profile. I don't necessarily wish to pop up as available every time someone searches.

As for the seeking, I clicked none of them. We want to make friends, learn a lot, and maybe meet up with some folks for fun. Not actively seeking anything. An "other" option, or possibly "networking" would be perfect.

It asks if this is a couple profile or not. Neither...this is my profile, he has his own. That doesn't make me available, exactly.

A simple available/not available option would fix this.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:32:57 PM

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react. Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.

Such a wise statement!

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to TreasureKY)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:34:18 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available? Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"?

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

I would not be offended nor resentful. In fact, I'd probably be a bit grateful that it took only a few seconds to weed them out of my search process rather than spend any significant amount of time writing a personal email.

quote:

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

They do.

quote:

3. Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

My profile clearly reflects my status. I was owned when I joined CM, so the profile settings haven't changed since I've been here.

quote:

If not, why not? Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?

There could be any number of reasons that someone would not change their settings.

They don't want to do so.
They don't know how.
They have been ordered not to do so.
They forgot.
They haven't logged in for a long time.
They want to keep their options open.
They want to cheat on their partner.
They want to be contacted for other reasons (events, munches, play parties etc.)
They wanna fuck with people to see if they can get them to lose their cool.
They want to waste other people's time.
They do it for laughs.
They're men pretending to be women.

That's probably enough for right now. Bottom line, if you change your own perception and look at it as a weeding tool instead of a way to just piss you, personally, off, maybe you can avoid taking blood pressure medication as you age.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to andrewmac)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:34:20 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I have no idea what my drop down says anymore. to me, what I've written is more important than the tick boxes... not that it stops the "I'm the dom/slave of your dreams" emails.

As others have said, who has time to get offended? Well, it seems YOU do, op..which is a shame. But hey.. if it's how you are, it's how you are, and it's no skin off my nose if someone else is offended because my profile doesn't meet their criteria for how a profile should be filled out.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:40:04 PM

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

...

I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.

Really? What do you have in mind?

We're not going there on this particular thread. Trust me, and walk away with both hands in plain sight.

Aaaawwww Red! I think Aquatic would have liked you to tell, and the Mod probably wouldn't mind you going just slightly off-topic.

Mind you I too wouldn't want to test that.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:44:39 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

When a woman holds up a stop sign, I obey it.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Sundowner)

RE: Your Status - 2/16/2008 3:48:44 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

um, Red? does this mean our date is off?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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