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Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:47:30 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I went to a website, (rate my _____ dot com), looked up the place HoneyMaster works, and His name and there was a rating there regarding Him.
It wasn't very flattering.
I'm pretty sure He doesn't even realize this site exists, so, if I don't show it to Him, it's possible He could go His whole life unaware.
Otoh, this IS what He does for a living, (although the people using His services don't have a choice as to whether to use Him or not....it's very specialized) (think of it like, when you go to the hospital, you don't have a choice-usually-as to which doctor or nurse helps you...it's similar to that.)
The people that leave the ratings give NO personal info. Not even a user name.
I even considered leaving a very good rating even though He hasn't been my _______ before. But, I decided against that.
So far.
Sooooo......
Any thoughts or suggestions?

~Christina

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:49:18 AM

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Yeah, I would. For me it's generally that all information is good information because it gives you a bigger piece of the puzzle.

Ignorance isn't bliss.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:52:59 AM

Kana

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Keeping secrets sucks,
I would want to be told.
Good, bad, indifferent, constructive criticism helps us grow

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:54:46 AM

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I would consider showing him the website. You are probally wondering how it will effect his sense of self esteem and worth.   You might wonder if he hates seeing you see a rating less then desired about him.

Just let him know in your book he's a 5 star rating.   His work is work and your relationship is your relationship.

The website is up and running and people are rating him. Make him aware of this, perhaps he can stir some of his happy customers there to rate him as well. If he not aware of this site, there is nothing he can do about it.   Basically, inform him and let him deal with it.

Personally, I'd want my girl or anybody showing something like this. I would appreciate it. I might not be happy about seeing it, but I would want to know about it.

< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 2/20/2008 8:55:37 AM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:55:06 AM

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Yeah I agree its better to be told with things like that if he find sout later down the line about it and you knew then it may cause rows.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:56:10 AM

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What are you afraid of that you are hesitating about telling Him? Are you afraid He might be saddened or angry at the unflattering remarks? Are you afraid He'll be angry with you for looking there without His knowledge?

If it's the latter, you're going to have to figure out if you want to brave His anger in telling Him, or if you want to keep this bottled up inside you. IMO, if that's your choice, it's going to come out sooner or later.

If it's the former, you may want to approach it "sideways." Maybe telling Him the site exists and "wondering" if He has been rated on it? If He wants to look at it, He will. Otherwise, assume that He is confident in His skills, and let the whole thing die.

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Bethical
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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:57:25 AM

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Personally, i would tell him, especially as it is concerned with his work. He might not care one way or the other about the site, but keeping secrets from him will only eat at you.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 8:59:21 AM

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From: Kentucky
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Owner, you're exactly right. That's exactly what I was worried about.
It *might* be a good idea for Him to mention to His ________ s to visit the site and leave a rating.
Then again, He can be a bit of a hardass...
*lol*
The consensus seems to be I should fess up....
Anyone think it would be better if I didn't?

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to colouredin)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:02:24 AM

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No, He wouldn't be angry at me. I have a very legitimate reason for going to that site, as I use the services of the type of person that is rated there.
I am concerned that it may affect His self-esteem.
One of His parents just passed a bit more than a week ago, and...I don't want to give Him more grief.

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:08:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Owner, you're exactly right. That's exactly what I was worried about.
It *might* be a good idea for Him to mention to His ________ s to visit the site and leave a rating.
Then again, He can be a bit of a hardass...
*lol*
The consensus seems to be I should fess up....
Anyone think it would be better if I didn't?

~Christina

Tricky one blushes - not really enough info to advise. But one aspect to support "don't tell" - it sounds as if it will hit his self-esteem hard. Probably harder than is warranted. And worse, his self-esteem in the key area of his life. (Aside of course from his relationship with you <smiles>).

So letting him carry on with his work happily, ignorant of some silly stuff few other people will see might be kind. But the bummer is you'll know you didn't tell him something you feel he should know.

So I'm not advocating keep quiet, you're the better judge, just noting an aspect which could be devastating for him.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:12:40 AM

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If its the sort of site I think it is, he probably knows better than to take those sorts of ratings very seriously. I'm in a field where its standard practice for the 'clients' to rate their 'service providers' and while the ratings do provide some useful information, they're not the end all and be all of job performance evaluation.
I would show him if its bothering you and trust that he knows how to interpret the rating.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:15:14 AM

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I'm SO confused.

Things I think will be a big deal, often times aren't,
otoh, things I think will not be a big deal sometimes are...

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Sundowner)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:16:55 AM

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Christina.. since it seems to be an esteem issue you're concerned about, and in light of the fact of his parent's passing (condolences to you both), I'd hold off a bit before telling him.. but not too long. Professionally, it's important to keep a good rep, and if this rating system is widely viewed.. well, I think he'd appreciate knowing, in the long run. As someone else said, if he knows about it, he can urge his customers to give him good ratings.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:18:49 AM

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They're not really customers...more of a captive audience in a way. (and no, He doesn't work in the prison system...*lol*)

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:19:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

If its the sort of site I think it is, he probably knows better than to take those sorts of ratings very seriously. I'm in a field where its standard practice for the 'clients' to rate their 'service providers' and while the ratings do provide some useful information, they're not the end all and be all of job performance evaluation.
I would show him if its bothering you and trust that he knows how to interpret the rating.

The thing is, while the service provider may know that the ratings aren't to be taken seriously, many potential customers do tend to pay attention.. so it pays for the service provider to be mindful of these things.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:21:07 AM

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picky, picky..LOL customers, captive audience...*grin*

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:23:55 AM

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I'm aware of the site. Most of those in that profession are aware of the site, too, and know better than to take one rating seriously. It's really the general overall rating that tells a story, and since it's a flawed sampling if one is really trying to get an accurate survey, it doesn't have a great deal of credibility.

Having said that, any time the question is asked of me (when the subject has to do with him or me), "Would you tell him?" my answer is "Yes." I don't keep information, thoughts or feelings from him, that pertain to us. I would probably say, "Wow what did you do to piss that ____ off?!" and make light of it.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:38:03 AM

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If the site is what charlotte thinks it is then she would imagine it's a safe bet that he knows about it and has either chosen to visit it or not. Charlotte's understanding is generally that the site is for the use of the "captive audience and potential captive audiences" than to actually help the person who's being rated. However, once charlotte knew about something she would feel weird not telling her Master so would probably mention it assuming that he knows not to take those things too seriously. Usually it's the pissed off people that take the time to rate things more than the happy ones.

charlotte

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:51:42 AM

RCdc

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Would I tell him? Absolutely, otherwise it is just going to cause problems in the future. Think of the consequence - What would you say to him if he found out somehow from another source, and confided in you? Would you lie and be sympathetic or tell the truth that you already know? Would he be disappointed in you that you didn't tell him? Would it loose faith and trust in you? Would he think that you may assume he is not strong enough to handle the truth and therefore not told him? Would he feel grateful you didn't inform him?
Consider the answers and then you have yours.

the.dark.

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RE: Would you tell Him? - 2/20/2008 9:54:56 AM

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you know Him better than i, and you describe Him as a bit of a hardass. if He was aware of the rating would you expect that He would ignore it, or do something to improve His rating? if He would be likely to brush it off, i would not say anything. if He would do something to improve it, i would make Him aware of the site.
Just my humble opinion.

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