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AtlantaMistress -> RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! (2/21/2008 5:47:28 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434
Thank You Ironitulstahp Yes, this is my first 'proper' s/M relationship. All others have just been kinky sex, no actual 'control' outside the bedroom. My main concern with these other girls, is not that they are contacting Him, but the fact that He is regularly in contact with them through his work, and through a couple of His hobbies. It worries me that while He may just be doing something He loves, He may also be flirting with these other girls. Why else would a sub stil be sending Him raunchy pictures after two years?
Do I trust Him? ...I'd love to say yes.. but i'm not sure that would be the conplete truth. I trust Him with me. I know He would always look after me... but i don't trust Him with these other girls.
He isn't trying to hide anything, no, but i do not see why He needs naked pictures of girls everywhere (maybe its just a male thing... !?) and i don't see how its any different to me having a close guy friend... *sighs*
No, the pictures don't do anything for me, because they are intended to attract my Master into going back with them. I will play with other girls, sure, but not any of His old hoes.
Ok - the two most important things to have in any relationship - TRUST & COMMUNICATION! Trust is something that you have to build and earn, and is easily hurt, but you must give a certain amount even at the beginning of a relationship. It seems you need to build trust and really need to be able to sit down and talk to him. Telling him how you feel and telling him what to do are not the same thing.
I am with a boy that had somewhat of a "sub-frenzy" - after 13 years in a bad marriage, never being able to explore BDSM - he jumped into the lifestyle with both feet - approaching any and every woman online and in person in a pair of high heels. I even had a Domme that a sub asked if she could watch our session. When it was over, my boy came out of another room - and she recognized him from CM and called him by his screen name - he had communicated with her. Does it bother me - NOT AT ALL. I am somewhat glad that he got it out of his system - really looked around before seeign me, and accepting my collar knowing what else is out there.I have been through a lot and have some major trust issues, but I had to decide if I was going to move forward, then I had to start with a certain amount of trust almost on blind faith - which is very hard for me. When I have felt that his or even someone else's behavior has been inappropriate - I have let him know. He and I communicate very well - but I cannot expect him to read my mind. I only have to say something once, and he is happy to correct whatever the problem is. I know he loves me, and I know he is smart enough to know what we have is good, and the more time passes, the more I trust him that he would not do anything to jeopardize it. What is funny is that even with him changing his profile - to put that he is collared by me right across the top, that does not stop some Dommes from contacting him. There was another thread recently about how once a someone is taken, it makes them more attractive to others. You would think that people would respect that he has made a commitment, but instead, he has had some Dommes come out and tell him they were interested that never really pursued him that way before he was with me. I love it. I love that other women would want him to submit, but he is MINE! He is very accepting of what I do (I am a Pro Domme) and knowing he trusts me and is not jealous helps me to trust him as well. Again - we have very good communication, and that helps to build trust.
You cannot change his past, or control what other subs do. You cannot control his actions or how he responds. What you can, and should do - is talk to him about how this makes YOU FEEL. I think you may also need to think about restrictions he has put on you though - and where his possessive or jealous nature comes from. Often, people expect in others what they see in themselves - so if he doesn't want you talking to other men, it may be from his own thoughts and/or actions dealing with these women. Jealousy is not a pretty thing, and can really ruin a relationship, however - it is something that comes from insecurity, and on either side, should be examined why it rears its ugly head. The more secure you are with each other, the less you should have to deal with issues like this.
Good luck to you!
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