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BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 12:04:30 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline

I have just come to realize that I yearn to be dominated in the bedroom, but I am overweight and very self-conscious, mostly due to the fact that although they say it doesn't matter and they love my personality, it really does!!

I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves - I wanted to know if it really is true that there are Doms out there that are willing to train a Sub/Slave even if she isn't Barbie?

I would just love to believe that I will find a Dom and be able to discuss things and find out what really is there for me.

Beth

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 12:28:32 PM

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

You are not a BBW, maybe a BW, meaning a big woman, but a BBW is a lot bigger than you and I, I would know, I weigh 208 pounds and losing, and I used to weigh 233 when I first met my Dom.

Yes, there are Doms out there who don't mind big women at all, and no, we don't need to be barbies. Most women who are into bdsm aren't anyway.

ocean

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 1:11:26 PM

Posts: 309
Status: offline

Well, yes... I believe I AM one of 'those Doms' --but I'm NOT what you would call a PATIENT Master... I'm not what you would call a sadistic master either... BUT I AM a master that is DISabled, so please be aware of it

<edited to remove email address - Mod7>

< Message edited by ModeratorSeven -- 9/18/2005 7:21:40 AM >

_____________________________

If you can LAUGH at it you can live WITH it!

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 2:01:28 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline

Yes, Beth, there are Dom's who even prefer larger women, someone with a little meat on their bones as they say.

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 2:24:47 PM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have just come to realize that I yearn to be dominated in the bedroom, but I am overweight and very self-conscious, mostly due to the fact that although they say it doesn't matter and they love my personality, it really does!!

Of course looks matter to different degrees for different people. Looks seem to matter a lot to you because you don't seem to be happy in your own skin, so that perhaps you will need to do something about that before looking for someone who simply will accept your size but isn't necessarily good to/for you.

quote:

I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves - I wanted to know if it really is true that there are Doms out there that are willing to train a Sub/Slave even if she isn't Barbie?

Yes, just as in everyday life, people into kink come in different shapes, sizes, and tastes. Again, I don't think your difficulty is as much in your size as it is in your outlook. As a BBW (as I understand it being someone over size 16), I'm sure you've seen sites and chatrooms dedicated to big bodacious babes and our admirers, and some of those people are into BDSM. Other men are into women who are happy, interesting and fun no matter what her size.
To summarize my $.02 worth: change your body or change your outlook so that your personality will come through without apologies for who you are what you look like as a person. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 2:58:41 PM

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I have been what is considered a BBW since my early twenties. When I fisrt started gaining weight and got to be a big girl I had body image issues and self confidence issuses. Once I accepted that I was a big girl and worked through the self esteame issuses I have found that my size really has no bearing on my abillity to find men both in the vanillia world and BDSM. Further more alot of the Doms I have talked to prefer a woman with a little meat on her bones.

Also talking on the net seams to help to. I do not exchange pics right off and have found that alot of times I become attracted to the person for who they are as opposed to what they look like. And I know that this flows both ways. I am not sure about what it is in the BDSM world but the Doms truely seam to enjoy a sub who is beautiful on the inside and who is confident in her submission. They tend to seak these subs out and presue them for who they are not what they look like.

Anyway enought rambling these are just what my experiances have been.

aurora

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 4:37:27 PM

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

Beth,

A short time Mentor told me about an event he attended. Now, i'm not a tiny lady, but not a BBW either. He told me that compared to the women he saw there, i would have been considered very petite. So, there must be quite a few Doms who like larger women.

A few weeks ago i attended an event with a g/f who is a BBW. She was persuaded to lower her top to experience a violet wand, and this was unusual for her to do because she is also self conscious. Afterward a gentleman approached her to tell her what a lovely body she has and told her he'd love to play with her.

(grins) All subs come in different shapes and sizes. Heck, the Doms come in every shape and size too. Just like in the vanilla world, we need to find someone who appreciates and accepts who we are and what we look like.

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 5:27:06 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

There is always someone that is looking for you. You aren't that big and you probably have more beauty than you think. Its all in the eye of the beholder.
I believe that I'm a troll sometimes, and I have always been that way. The more I try to look pretty, the worse I think of myself.
Just relax and enjoy for a while. I do think you will find the Dom/Master of your dreams.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/17/2005 10:06:03 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline

Okay

I have read the replies and you have all buoyed my spirit!! I know that I am a great person, I am very sexual, very imaginative (I write erotic stories, which are really my fantasies put to paper), I am going to work at being me!!

Thanks ALL of you, Beth

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 7:17:22 AM

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

Beth,

I am five feet four inches tall and weigh an astounding 207. I weighed 185 or so a month ago - been a bit of stress and I packed on some extra, which of course creates MORE stress, and I will now have to take it all back off. But I can do it.

According to all the height/weight charts, I am morbidly obese and going to fall over dead any minute now. When I weighed 136, like I was "supposed" to, I was sick all the time, strep throat, ear infections, influenza, you name it, I caught the Bug Du Jour and stayed ill for weeks.

I don't think I look gross or misshapen. I fit into size 12 clothing without the seams screaming. My BMI is 24. I worked out like an idiot, a couple of hours every day, and although I have recently gained this extra weight, I remain hopeful that it will come off with simple attention to what I put in my mouth.

Heh, heh.

Both of my Masters gag at the thought of a Barbie, for what it is worth. They don't have perfect bodies, either. When THEIR bodies are perfect, then I will feel that MINE should be, too.

*edited for atrocious spelling*

< Message edited by ChereeAmoor -- 9/19/2005 7:19:32 AM >

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 7:30:27 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Well BBW stand for Big Butiful Women and that say somthing, you can be big and butiful, i myself is loosing weight becouse i want to wear hot lether pants and corsets and i personaly think they look better if you are thin, and oh yes i want a better health, inportant that for a Amortalist, to ahve good health.

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 8:52:24 AM

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello Beth,
I'm pretty new to this lifestyle too. I was very shocked to find that Doms are indeed much better than vanilla men at looking at a lady from the inside out. Weight does not seem to be such a big factor to most of my Dom friends.
Mind you I still have talked to a few Doms that are superficial enough that if you're overweight they won't find you attractive, but it's not the norm.

I'm so pleased and proud of the men in the scene for seeing someone for who they are as a whole and not just their waist or boob size. It's actually on of the things of this lifestyle I'm very filled with joy over.

I'd also like to say in the local dungeon I go to all the time I'd say more than 60% of the ladies that walk around naked there are at least 100lbs overweight. I still think they are beautiful and so do they. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the Doms I've found love women of all shapes, sizes and races. If you are a little uncomfortable with your body maybe you shold stand in front of a mirror naked and find things you like about your body. If you feel sexy people will see you that way. If you think you're not sexy others will agree. I've found in this lifestyle it's more if your mind is in good shape than your body that matters most.
Good Luck,
sub suzanne

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 9:29:35 AM

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Some Doms pefere a larger woman i am not that large i could lose about 20 25 pounds. As my late master said more cusion for the pushing i have to say i totally agreed.

littleone

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 5:31:40 PM

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

quote:

I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves -

Doesn't surprise Me since the American Medical Association and the Surgeon General report an estimated 78% of all Americans to be clinicly obese...

"ken and barbie" are some hollywood marketing scheme... I would much rather have a nice plump butt and voluptous figure on My girl.

This may not be the place for it, but this reminded Me of a joke:

A little girl's mother asked what she wanted for Christmas. The little girl's eyes lit up and she said, " I want a Barbie doll and a G.I. Joe!"
"But susie," the girl's mom said, " Barbie comes with Ken doll."
"No she doesn't," the girl replied, " she fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

Lol... sorry... I just had to.

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 7:26:13 PM

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

http://www.cleansheets.com/coverstories/sadie_09.14.05.shtml

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 8:52:22 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline

Beth, you will find someone, don't worry! There are a lot of great Doms who will see the real you, and appreciate you for who you are. I gained a lot of weight in the past 6 years (partly due to a medical condition and partly due keeping my old eating habits while no longer exercising). I could stand to lose 100 lbs but I have never felt so sexy, and when I go to events there are many good looking Doms who compliment me and want to play with me (and some bi Dommes who do too!) It is a matter of self-confidence...if you think that you are beautiful and hold your head high, dress to complement your correct colors and take pride in your appearance, you will feel beautiful and project beauty. I am collared to a wonderful Dom who tells me that I am gorgeous and sexy, and I feel that way!

...Would I like to be at a lower weight? of course I would. Is it hard to get there? Yes, but I am not putting my enjoyment of life on hold for it. I learned that lesson! For years, when I was much, MUCH thinner, I avoided doing things and going places because I didn't have a "perfect body". I though my booty was too big and my boobs too small. Now, though I am even farther from a perfect body, I actually enjoy life more, and look back at all the fun that I missed because I was too self-conscious to enjoy the body I had. (And I shake my head at the old skinny pix of myself and think "what was there not to like?")

Go for it, girl!

_____________________________

Destination, Determination, Deliberation. - Wilkie Twycross

(in reply to subversiveone)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/19/2005 9:22:55 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline

OH subversiveone, thank you do much, I read that and it just made my heart smile!! and thank you lushlife, coming back and reading your post after reading Clean Sheets was just the icing on the cake!!

YOu have no idea how important this forum has become to me in such a short time, thank you all for your support, advice and just genuine careness (not thinking this is a word but it should be, LOL)

beth

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/20/2005 2:27:27 AM

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

My pleasure Beth! I'm glad this perked you up and gave you some insight. It's important that you hold your head 'high' even when looking longingly at His feet ;O

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

(in reply to yesses4u)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/20/2005 7:42:15 AM

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod

quote:

I have seen quite a few pics of overweight Subs/Slaves -

Doesn't surprise Me since the American Medical Association and the Surgeon General report an estimated 78% of all Americans to be clinicly obese...

"ken and barbie" are some hollywood marketing scheme... I would much rather have a nice plump butt and voluptous figure on My girl.

This may not be the place for it, but this reminded Me of a joke:

A little girl's mother asked what she wanted for Christmas. The little girl's eyes lit up and she said, " I want a Barbie doll and a G.I. Joe!"
"But susie," the girl's mom said, " Barbie comes with Ken doll."
"No she doesn't," the girl replied, " she fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

Lol... sorry... I just had to.

Hello There
That's a very cute joke. It really made me laugh. Thanks RainGod for adding joy to my day.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to RainGod)

RE: BBW looking to talk to others and ask help - 9/20/2005 2:07:01 PM

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Ill give my honest opinion which I oddly always do.

Some men like big women some men dont. Some women like over weight men som women dont. The same goes for the lifestyle.

I dont like over-weight women but then the next guy in line might love over-weight women.

Do a forum search for BBW and you will see it will come up with heaps and heaps off threads, A few of them will be within the past month...

(in reply to yesses4u)

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