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pixelslave -> RE: Dommes active in their community (2/26/2008 1:08:04 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DommeChains
I can only speak from my experience but down here in Central Texas there is a pretty decent percentage of the lifestyle community that are femdoms whether unpaired, or in marriages/partnerships with subs or, as in my case, with a male Dom husband and we each have our sub or bottom partners. Actually, in almost all of the groups active here there is active participation by femdoms. By that I mean in leadership positions or active in doing presentations or in participating and attending meetings and play parties.
I'd agree with you to the extent that they're active, especially in situations like yours where the women are part of a male Dom relationship and would be what I'd refer to as essentially a switch; although I totally understand you wouldn't be switching with your sub as is the case with most I know of in your type of situation. I also don't know how intimate your relationship would be with your sub as it seems to vary greatly from relationship to relationship.
As for me perosnally, I'm not at all interested in a poly relationship. So someone in your situation which is indeed very common here wouldn't be what I'd be looking for. In my case, I'm looking for more than a long term play partner; one that would have the potential to become an exclusive life partner as well to share vanilla activities with me and a whole lot more. It's the single or coupled Femdoms, that seem to be missing or not very involved in the community in our area based on my observations which I'll readily admit aren't especially scientific. When I was married to my ex-wife/former-Mistress, I was forbidden to participate in the local community, so that may be where some are coming from. I'm very pleased to have the freedom to make friends with people to whom I can now relate and not have to hide my submissiveness toward a woman in my life. [sm=tongue.gif]
In DFW PowerExchange for example, which has a membership of approximately 450 and an active core group of about 150 that regularly attend the various functions, rarely do I see a Domme who isn't part of an M/s couple. They're wonderful people to hang out with and the group has many non-BDSM events, including social nights at a Karaoke bar, a submissives only night (all female subs I might add; I can never attend because it's scheduled on a night when I have the UM's), a monthly discussion group, a craft guild (make your own toys), a group for those trying to lose weight and get into shape, and a monthly munch with a play party afterwards, plus there's probably more that I'm forgetting (a "Seeking" group with 3 profiles from dommes, 1 of which is poly). It's indeed a very active group and I've made many friends among them. [:)]
The only time I've typically seen the dommes come out is probably on a 4th Friday munch which is separate group of it's own that meets in the DFW area and is the largest pansexual munch around. Of special interest to Mistresses and subs would be WICK'D, which is for the Dommes and subs, but attendance is much smaller than one would expect with the reputation Dallas has for being the home of so many Femdoms. However, all the ladies are of course very nice and I enjoy their company. I've not yet connected with the new ClubFem group that meets in nearby Ft Worth. One group that's new in the northern suburbs (the area where I live) with 49 members so far has a total of two dommes that have joined (oops, based on her screen name, there may be a 3rd one now). [;)]
There's now a 2nd dungeon in the Dallas area, and it's too early to say what will become of it. I belong to the original and volunteer to help out there. As a result I'm there often enough to get a feel for the numbers of Femdoms who frequent it. I can assure you it's generally very low as a percentage of the total number of those who frequent the place. I really don't doubt that dommes exist here who aren't coupled in M/s relationships, I'm just wondering why they don't come out to the many events available to them. The kinds of behavior some have described is truly not tolerated in our area from what I've observed although I'm certain it happens as it does everywhere. But there are always DM's and others to put them in their place or toss them out the door if necessary. [sm=hello.gif]
I was just really surprised to attend SPLF and not see hardly any dommes in attendance where they could learn more about themselves and the lifestyle while socializing among their peers. That's where I was initially coming from and expanded it to include a domme's local lifestyle community for those who have them readily available to them. Whether to play in public or not is always a choice even when available and that's not at all where I was coming from. The demos I've seen put on at the meetings I've attended are typically geared to both D/s and M/s orienations, with some more specific to one or the other on rare occasions from what I've sen. Even in cases of that sort, I've always found there's something to be learned from attending those which might not seem to be of interest or apply to me. Of course YMMV according to your openeness to alternative lifestyes and POV's different than your own. [&:]
- pixel
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