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RE: Confused - 3/12/2008 5:05:35 PM

DoubleHelix

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline

I, personally, am a bisexual, poly sub-switch masochistic sadist. And I'm never questioning it. That is, in and of itself, a title I have chosen for ME. If you want to be a slave, even if you go out every night and beat people and get off on it, you're still a slave. If you want to be a Mistress, and you go out to a dungeon and degrade slaves all night, but come home and are roughly raped and humiliated by a man you call 'Sir', you're still a Mistress. You are what you feel. Unless you feel that you're doing something that makes you uncomfortable, never question yourself in what you want to be. It's what YOU decide that makes you what you are, not anything you do.

(in reply to colouredin)

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RE: Confused - 3/13/2008 3:01:38 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

DoubleHelix...I adore you thank you for this response, I told my Sir all this...have been following this between work and tending to him (a subs work is never done) and he has...well (besides me helping out my girlfriend with the pony play) expressed an intrest into my "type" of...topping. He has also aa\greed to letting me explore this new side to myself, even thinking of teching me the mwahahah "ropes"

(in reply to DoubleHelix)

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Post #: 22

RE: Confused - 3/16/2008 7:11:19 PM

solia

Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm wondering one thing ... did you initiate the 'domming moment' or were you told (and asked) to domme? What I got from your initial post is that you were told to tell the boys what to do and you ended up liking it. How very submissive of you to obey.
A friend of mine and I have had this conversation. Her Master wanted her to top him and she just couldn't stand the idea of it. So I suggested that she look at it as obeying him to please him ~ that she could handle. As long as he tells her to do some domme action with someone ~ she's okay with it, but for her to initiate it? Not happening.
I also asked this question of my mentor and he asked me what I fantasized about ~ I equally fantasize about topping and bottoming. Perhaps ask the same question ~ what do you fantasize about?
And as others have pointed out, what need of a label if you are enjoying yourself? Don't stick yourself in a box that's not custom made for you.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

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Post #: 23

RE: Confused - 3/18/2008 5:12:08 PM

TeachMeTonight

Posts: 67
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline

There are lots of flavors of switching. I attended a workshop Midori did once called "Beyond Twisted" her suggestion was that at some level almost everyone switches. It looked a little like this (with apologies to Midori)

Top - Delivers sensation vs. Bottom - receives sensation
Dominant - takes control vs Submissive - Gives up control

It is possible that if I order you to give me a massage I am being a dominant bottom and in this case you a submissive top. In a situation like this we don't think twice about the submissive not being submissive or the dominant being less than dominant. If I ordered you to flog me, some people would consider that the pain aspect to create a situation where I am now submitting to you. I disagree with that idea, you are performing a service for me and doing something I enjoy enough to cause me to order you to do it.

In the end, don't worry about your submission being in jeopordy if you enjoy the times when you are topping. Heck, for that matter if you determine you like taking control sometimes your submission to your Mistress will not suffer for it. In my opinion in some ways it will become more valuable because you are surrendering control from a place of power.

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Teach Me Tonight

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

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Post #: 24

RE: Confused - 3/18/2008 9:16:35 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

yes I was asked to top my Mistress friends (friend as in not my top, Im not her submissive) bois, and i liked it (giggles) and then a few hours later another girlfriend of mine (completely submissive) asked me to top her. So one I was (as I am always in difference to other sceners who are Tops more then happy to..not serve but to..do things asked of me...capisce?) asked by a top to top her boi. The other time asked by a submissive to top her. So...interesting comeing from both ends of the spectrum as it were...So submissive top...interesting interesting. And its not so much I want to label myself as...when asked in a scene what end I play on, I would like to give a ready answer...get my drift? Sumbissive Top.........mwahahah. That makes me giddy all over.

Sister Colour? The ..erm...training session with pny girl/ the routine implimentation erm...whatever. Went AWESOME. Shes such a good girl......I had a blast and she did too!!

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 3/18/2008 9:17:55 PM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Confused - 3/22/2008 9:03:24 AM

Kitte9

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
BAH.......Am I thinking about it to death again?

Ye, you are. Just go with it and remember to communicate. If you don't feel it's right, or that she isn't enjoying it, then stop. Otherwise, have a great time.

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I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

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Post #: 26