Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play??

Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (Full Version)

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SirKnottynNice -> Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 12:35:09 PM)
I read once at another BD/SM forum... quote: Mind fucks, I love mind fucks. Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done." I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon! There is line drawn somplace. Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks? Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"? Be well

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 1:08:16 PM)
It can go both ways. I didn't see the referenced post in context, but it would seem to me that the humiliation factor of "whispering in her ear" would not equate to making her actually use it. Some people get off on this stuff. It can be very powerful. A one componant of intimacy is finding each other's vulnerabilities. Humiliation is one way to get there. In situations like the one above, it was a scene. Saying certain things in a scene (a safe-space) is different from common degradation which IS unhealthy. Just like "beating someone with a stick" can be damaging in the regular world or without concern and consent, it can be a fabulous sensual caning within our safe-spaces and proper negotiations and familiarity with each other. When we play with humiliation, we need to follow the rules of respecting limits, but knowing where there is a desire for growth. It can be a razors edge, and is not for the inexperienced or insincere. Growth and damage, unfortunately look surprisingly similar at times. The context, the motivations, and the people are what make the difference. I highly recommend looking up a workshop by Fetish Diva Midori called "Erotic Humilation" or something similar. She has a fabulous way of explaining this and how to do it in an affirmative way. Purr

SirKnottynNice -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 1:38:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow It can go both ways. I didn't see the referenced post in context, but it would seem to me that the humiliation factor of "whispering in her ear" would not equate to making her actually use it. *Forgive me, I did forget to mention that He did state "I wouldn't actually* make her do it." I thought "Well, I would hope not!"lol Some people get off on this stuff. It can be very powerful. A one componant of intimacy is finding each other's vulnerabilities. Humiliation is one way to get there. In situations like the one above, it was a scene. Saying certain things in a scene (a safe-space) is different from common degradation which IS unhealthy. Just like "beating someone with a stick" can be damaging in the regular world or without concern and consent, it can be a fabulous sensual caning within our safe-spaces and proper negotiations and familiarity with each other. When we play with humiliation, we need to follow the rules of respecting limits, but knowing where there is a desire for growth. It can be a razors edge, and is not for the inexperienced or insincere. Growth and damage, unfortunately look surprisingly similar at times. The context, the motivations, and the people are what make the difference. I highly recommend looking up a workshop by Fetish Diva Midori called "Erotic Humilation" or something similar. She has a fabulous way of explaining this and how to do it in an affirmative way. Purr I thank You for Your input, It was very well thought out , & well said. Be well

mnottertail -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 1:47:26 PM)
The wet panty thing on ask a Mistress. AAkasha did not go far enough......... Depends on mind fuck....... If you take that to mean that you will live in a lose/win constantly...... NO. The question to answer in this place is.... How can that possibly be true? I hope John Warren talks on this....... He can really speak to this subject. Ron

JohnWarren -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 2:01:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I hope John Warren talks on this....... He can really speak to this subject. I think MissPurrMeow did a fine job. Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play

perverseangelic -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 2:21:11 PM)
For me, if it invovles a phobia, it is NOT a good thing. If someone were to make me really believe that s/he was going to do something that I am phobic about or is a limit (my limits are things I cannot do. Period. I don't do the soft limit/hard limit thing) I would lose a LOT of trust in them. One reason I trust my partner is that I know he'd do nothing to damage me. If he were to work hard to make me believe he would, that wouldn seriously da age that trust

LadyAngelika -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 2:43:23 PM)
quote: I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon! There is line drawn somplace. That line is to be determined by the adults before they begin to play together. Plain and simple. It is for no one else to judge. quote: Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks? Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"? I love mind fucks. I make sure they stay within the realm of what I know my partner can deal with. - LA

JohnWarren -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 3:09:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic For me, if it invovles a phobia, it is NOT a good thing. If someone were to make me really believe that s/he was going to do something that I am phobic about or is a limit (my limits are things I cannot do. Period. I don't do the soft limit/hard limit thing) I would lose a LOT of trust in them. One reason I trust my partner is that I know he'd do nothing to damage me. If he were to work hard to make me believe he would, that wouldn seriously da age that trust Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play."

WickedKev -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 3:18:17 PM)
Love em, do em, and will keep on doing em...............

Evanesce -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 3:19:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKnottynNice I read once at another BD/SM forum... quote: Mind fucks, I love mind fucks. Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done." I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon! There is line drawn somplace. Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks? Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"? Be well Not only is it acceptable, I find it exciting and terrifying at the same time. But I'm one of those who really gets into that suspension of disbelief, and fear is an enormous turn-on for me. And there are just so many thousands of different ways to mindfuck someone! I even managed to mindfuck myself a couple times, and was embarrassed about it afterwards, but it was actually rather amusing. Denise the Kaptin's wench

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 4:38:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKnottynNice I read once at another BD/SM forum... quote: Mind fucks, I love mind fucks. Like telling a subbie to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush, and while she's doing it whisper in her ear "you're going to use it when your done." I'm sadistic & I like humiliation play, but c'mon! There is line drawn somplace. And luckily where I draw the line in my relationship has nothing to do with how you feel. quote: Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks? Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"? Be well I think they are amazing awesome and intense and that few people know how to really do it well. The top I played with last night and I had a laugh over the fact that he wanted part of the scene to be cutting my dress off and screaming at me how I was so pathetic I didn't deserve to wear such a pretty thing. But we both knew that wouldn't be taken positively in a public scene and thus wouldn't be good to do in public. But it's still really hot for us and something we enjoy wallowing in.

Misstoyou -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 5:22:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WickedKev Love em, do em, and will keep on doing em............... Yes! What he said...lol

perverseangelic -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 6:29:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play." I didn't. I simply hit "reply" which replies automatically to the last post in the thread. I was responding to the OP in general, not to the comments you made, which I aggreed with.

realophelia -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 6:58:30 PM)
quote: Dom/mes, subs, What do Y/you think about mind fucks? Unhealthy, or acceptable "play"? I think they can be a lot of fun. Ophelia

JohnWarren -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 7:28:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Since you replied to my post, and that post was fairly short, I wonder how you missed the "when people who are playing need" in "Let's remember that the purpose of mindfucks is to keep a reasonable degree of safety present when the people who are playing need an illusion of danger to season their play." I didn't. I simply hit "reply" which replies automatically to the last post in the thread. I was responding to the OP in general, not to the comments you made, which I aggreed with. Given the threading system in place, it would be better then to bring up the original post and make your reply from there.

perverseangelic -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 7:56:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Given the threading system in place, it would be better then to bring up the original post and make your reply from there. Mostly I do. I figure someday collarme will make it such that hitting "reply" doesn't add a "in reply to" ~shrug~ I appologize for being confusing.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 8:09:56 PM)
It really depends on how far you take it, and how often. Limits are different for different people. Always be careful of the classic warning signs that you might have taken things a bit too far, though. (Withdrawal, losing interest in usual activities, dramatic behavior or appearance changes, etc). Mindfucks can be a wonderful experience if used properly. Exercise caution and caring, and they can be a valuable tool.

HYPNOTIC1948 -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 8:13:23 PM)
IN WHAT FRAME OF MIND CAN A PERSON BE IN THAT LIKES TO PLAY WITH S**T - I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BUT WAS TOLD BY A FRIEND THAT THERE ARE THOSE THAT DO THIS! (yuk, barf, poo, wretch grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 8:16:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HYPNOTIC1948 IN WHAT FRAME OF MIND CAN A PERSON BE IN THAT LIKES TO PLAY WITH S**T - I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BUT WAS TOLD BY A FRIEND THAT THERE ARE THOSE THAT DO THIS! (yuk, barf, poo, wretch grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) It's always so good to have people respect other peoples desires and kinks.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Mind Fucks - Unhealty or simply Sadistic play?? (9/25/2005 8:30:44 PM)
I don't believe in mindfucks because they're fake. If I whispered something like that into someone's ear, it would be true.

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