undergroundsea
Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MadameTakhisis
From SIR. Is a marriage sincere without an engagement ring? Maybe I am wrong but daughter and dowry are about one and the same. The right to successfully reproduce is given only to those willing to sacrifice. That means self sacrifice first. If you cant recognize it, I can guarantee you have never been there. If you are to embarrassed to pay tribute
Try Homage
Homage deems you give more respect and discipline to yourself before you ask to be in the presence of those you may claim to trust with your life. This will insure you will be respected long after the act has taken place and insure at least a repeat of the journey. If you expect to go further than dig deeper so the integrity of the environment stays secure..
I hold no agenda against you. I simply find myself having a different take or being unclear about the statements in your post as I put on my critical thinking hat.
For sake of clarity:
(1) In this post by tribute I do not mean a fee given for professional services; I mean a monetary fee given or demanded to maintain or explore a personal (versus business) social relationship.
(2) My ideal BDSM relationship is a romantic companionship that is based on D/s, which strongly influences my response to a suggestion for such a tribute. Even for a non-romantic relationship, I subscribe to similar fundamental dynamics about what allows the relationship to happen.
quote:
Is a marriage sincere without an engagement ring
Must it be? I think an engagement ring is more a custom than a proof of sincerity. An insincere man can give a ring (here honey, put on this ring while I have sex with your best friend). Typically, a ring is not given by the woman. Do you then question the sincerity of the woman? So I see the power of the analogy and the intended message--that sincerity cannot be had without a tribute--to not carry.
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Maybe I am wrong but daughter and dowry are about one and the same.
A dowry usually reflects the socioeconomic status of the family of a bride. How are daughter and dowry the same?
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The right to successfully reproduce is given only to those willing to sacrifice. That means self sacrifice first.
The right to successfully reproduce is given to those who have sex without any contraceptives. And, you know, the timing is right. And, you know, they are both physiologically able to reproduce. And I won't say anything about pulling out because that doesn't always work ;-) Sure, effective parenting requires sacrifice. I am not clear on the connection between the importance of sacrifice to be a parent, and the matter at hand. I expect you mean that special things require sacrifice. And I expect you mean that a D/s relationship is special. And so I assume you mean that because a D/s relationship is special, a submissive should sacrifice by giving a tribute. Is that a comprehensive or essential metric to gauge sacrifice? How does the dominant sacrifice for this special relationship?
quote:
Homage deems you give more respect and discipline to yourself before you ask to be in the presence of those you may claim to trust with your life.
Sure, I think it is a good idea for one to have self respect and discipline before one gives self to another whom one trusts with one's life. I think it is a good idea because it can enable one to give this trust where it is deserved, and walk away when one should. How does homage deem this idea? Also, meeting someone for the first time does not mean one is ready to hand over his life--it is a meeting to determine compatibility.
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If you expect to go further than dig deeper so the integrity of the environment stays secure.
I am not sure I understand. Further than what? What do you mean by integrity of the environment, and what preserves it and what compromises it?
quote:
If you want to master an art with out paying the teacher you have stolen from him. Only children deserve something for nothing and to sacrifice for a child only invests in your future. So! Unless you are a child every relationship you have will cost you! Respect those who know their worth or be treated as one who is worthless
Given the context of this discussion, it seems the underlying assumption is that a dominant brings more to a relationship than does a submissive, or that a dominant teaches a submissive. Perhaps in some cases this statement is true. In some cases the reverse is true. In most cases, I wager, they each bring similar value.
I see dominance and submissions as preferences for how to express relationships and sexuality, not as traits that define esteem or competence.
Perhaps some submissives object to tribute because they feel having to purchase attention conflicts with their sense of self worth. Is that not knowing one's worth?
Cheers,
Sea
< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 3/14/2008 10:05:58 PM >
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RE: tribute - 
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