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impishlilhellcat -> RE: I hate it when........ (10/28/2009 3:05:06 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kalista07
Okay, Imp.....Here's how i see it... You ran into Him and You proved to Yourself that You are much stronger than You thought, yes? You showed Yourself that while he may have moved on in the relationship department You are actually the one who had done the work to heal, grow, and move on in life despite the horrendous loss You both suffered, yes? My question is though....Who did You really ned to prove this to??? Him or You??
i understand feeling the need to go and complete the PhD in the college you began it in, and the reasons you want to do it.....But, i would caution You to ask Yourself at what cost is it worth it? i mean, seriously......... If You stop and ask Yourself what is this PhD worth to You? Is it worth the physical stress it will put on Your body? Is it worth the emotional turmoil it will put on Your body? Just to "prove a point".....And who exactly are You proving this point to? Because at the end of the day....... You have to sleep inside Your own skin...Not his.... So, in the end......... my vote would be to come to terms with the fact that perhaps you need to change your perception of why you are chosing to complete Your PhD elsewhere. Instead of looking at it from a deficiancy basis, perhaps you could look at it from a doing what was in your best interest, and because You were the strongest person to do this....
Just my thoughts....
*bighugs to you*
Kali
I need to prove a lot to myself. For the longest time I let people tell me that I wouldn't make anything of myself because of where I came from. I really enjoyed what I did. I really wanted to finish that program to see it through to get that Ph.D. and to further my career. Yes, I could totally go to another school, but there is one particular professor that has been paramount to my education whom has a lot of faith in me. He has taught me so much and there is so much more I could learn from him before he retires. He tried to talk me out of leaving, but I was emotionally exhausted and unfortunately I couldn't just take a leave of absence. You know I've thought about this over and over for a year since I left. I think I made a big mistake I set myself back hugely as far as progress goes. I regret that I didn't face those fears. A good part o me is like why didn't you just suck it up and carry on? Are you really any happier a year later? I mean don't get me wrong I needed a break for the sake of my mental health (that I know as a fact), but I have been wondering where I would be in my career (a what if essentially) if I had stayed versus where I am now. Proving him wrong would just be an extra added bonus. There's a lot of regret at leaving not because of feelings for someone else or anything like just simply because I feel I've lost so much, plus a good part of me is drawn back to that area because I do feel some sort of attachment because that's where the baby was buried.
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