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Kalista07 -> RE: I hate it when........ (8/18/2008 7:49:24 PM)
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i hate when people i care about are sad, frustrated, being too hard on themselves.......
i hate that i'm loyal to a fault. It's almost as if once i become loyal (love, trust, befriend) to a person, there's no going back. As ifit takes them literally carving my heart out of my chest and stomping on it in front of god and everyone in order for me to even begin to question that loyalty....
i believe the old cliche though that what hasn't or didn't kill me has indeed made me stronger. i also believe all of those mistakes i made, all of that harm and chaos i caused in people's lives, all of the ways i was a bad friend, girlfriend, daughter, aunt, sister, employee, lover, etc are all lessons i learned. And while i can not change the past or the part i played in it, i can recognize that treating myself badly as a result of it is futile. i believe i either can embrass all of my past (the good, the bad, the ugly, the shameful) or i can continue to struggle with it.
Kali
ETA: in my past i was such a hateful, angry, nasty person.. A person i eventually became friends with told me at one point that he was convinced i had a huge capacity to love...i (not so politely) asked him where he could possibly get that from and he informed me that if i had such a huge capacity to hate i must have an even bigger capacity to love.
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