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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 9:09:17 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Thank you, wanders.  I'm going to look into that book tomorrow.

Interestingly, I never really thought I had much of a problem with things because I've gotten so good at hiding things from myself and other people.  Recently, the wall I had so carefully constructed began crumbling and people began asking me if everything was ok, and I was left with holes in my "cover" that I really couldn't ignore or sweep under the rug anymore.  The strangest thing is that the first person to notice that something was wrong was a complete stranger to me - knew the person less than 24 hours - and s/he said, "Please be good to yourself.  I'm very worried about you."  I was stunned because I really thought that s/he was misreading me pretty badly.  Truth be told, the person had me dead-to-rights, and that scared the crap out of me because if a stranger could see that, what must others close to me be seeing? 

I just want to break free from bad patterns of thinking and behaving, and would love to be ok with asking for help when I need it, and not give a crap what the person thinks of me because I need assistance (whether at home, at work, wherever).  I'm always wary of what people think of me, and I have a bad habit of trying to people-please too much, something I'm slowly getting better at stopping. 

As I was telling one of the lovelies from the boards tonight on the phone, I realize my quirks and how these things are not helping me, but they're so familiar and comfortable, getting rid of them is going to be quite the process.

*hugs for all here who need them*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 10881
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 9:09:59 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		let me know what you think of ACT if you do read more about it Kali.  This is described as part of the third wave of CBT and I like it because it doesn't have any of the 'you must be doing this wrong if it isn't working' of the older therapies, and none of the 'I am bad for thinking this thought'  ...eg the lackey band on the wrist to ping each time you think something 'bad'. It is more about learning to have all of those yucky thoughts and feelings and to learn how to create some distance, so they can stay there and you can keep living your life and having a fantastic time doing it.

buggar.... I must be missing work, listen to me go on about this

I hate that I can talk for hours and hours and hours about pscyh and especially about ACT ..... ok I don't really hate that, I love being passionate about what I do


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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
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(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 10882
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 9:12:47 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

*huge ass hugs to Red* You rock!!!   Thankies, girlfriend.  You do, too!

Wanders, thanks for the book recommendation...i just pulled out a cbt based book tonight, that is okay but not wonderful.


*realizes that this is probably not what I think it stands for* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 10883
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 9:18:09 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

It is more about learning to have all of those yucky thoughts and feelings and to learn how to create some distance, so they can stay there and you can keep living your life and having a fantastic time doing it.


Interesting, wanders.  This is what Thing 1's counselors told me about my "Monster" (the anger/rage piece of me that gets triggered at times).  They said that unraveling the triggers and knowing what they are, and making sense of it in some way, doesn't mean that I have to destroy or toss out my Monster.  It just means that my Monster doesn't have to sit in the driver's seat as often as he does, and he can realize that he doesn't need to protect me in ways that cause more damage in the long run, and protect me in ways that serve me better.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 10884
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 10:03:57 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

*realizes that this is probably not what I think it stands for* 

Glad I'm not the only one whose mind went there, Red.




_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 10885
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 10:20:06 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		*at least I'm in good company, Wyld, LOL*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 10886
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 10:36:59 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		i hate it that i was only able to spend one night with my Uncle Irv & Aunt Willie & there was so much to talk about & see & share & i had to leave this morning....

i hate that i don't know if or when i will get to spend time with them again......

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 10887
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:28:30 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		*hugs Linea, Red, Wyld, and Wanders*

Is it just me, or do some of you notice the more transparent we are with each other, the more similarities we find amongst us?
Wanders, i  understand exactly what you are speaking of with cbt, my concern (while i can do it with clients) is that i tend to not be very 'appropriate' at it, because i tend to try and think more in shades of gray today. My primary concern with cbt, is that if i'm not getting the expected result or am not doing it perfectly right, then i must be doing it all wrong... Which, just feeds into that yucky...human part of me.

by the way, for all you snorting at the use of cbt here....i must confess that the first time i read someone was doing some kind of cbt, i was intrigued....Imagine my surprise *blushes* at the reality that we were two huge ass worlds apart.
Kali
*edited to add* i hate when it is 1:26am, and i still can't sleep. i took my prescribed sleepy time stuff that i'm to use occasionally about 2 hours ago.



< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 9/28/2008 11:29:26 PM >

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 10888
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:32:23 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		*hugs Kali, just cause I can* 

Back to packing. I hate that in the midst of my post-divorce move, work has become even MORE of a soap opera.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 10889
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:38:01 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		My post saying "i hate that some people never come to the I love it thread" was due to the fact that since I started the 2 threads on the same day, this thread is up to 545 pages-10889 posts.

the I love it thread is at 349 posts-6967.

I really hate THAT.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 10890
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:42:05 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		That's true, Lushy.....However, if  you look at the quality on this thread (alone...not versus another thread) for every one real problem that's posted, there's at least 3-8 posts supporting that person. That, in and of itself, shows the love...
Or perhaps, i have a warped way of looking at things..

GAH!! Damn it...Now you've really gone and screwed me up!! i was going to post about loving something here......

:P

Kali


_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10891
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:43:16 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
I hate that someone can take what I say so personally that they get hurt feelings by what I have posted .

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10892
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:45:17 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		you got mail Kali

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10893
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:50:58 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


I hate that someone can take what I say so personally that they get hurt feelings by what I have posted .


i hate it when that happens too. so i'll stop taking it personally <GRINZ>

(just kidding)


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10894
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:54:12 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


I hate that someone can take what I say so personally that they get hurt feelings by what I have posted .


i hate it when that happens too. so i'll stop taking it personally <GRINZ>

(just kidding)






_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 10895
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/28/2008 11:55:35 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


I hate that someone can take what I say so personally that they get hurt feelings by what I have posted .


i hate it when that happens too. so i'll stop taking it personally <GRINZ>

(just kidding)







promises, promises




_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10896
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/29/2008 12:08:25 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I hate that it is passed 2 A.M. and I woke up and cant get back to sleep.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 10897
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/29/2008 12:11:14 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Feel free to molesticate me, Lushy.... in between trips to packing my car, ugh.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10898
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/29/2008 12:12:45 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Feel free to molesticate me, Lushy.... in between trips to packing my car, ugh.


gropes and fondles Wyldhrt.

*sigh

You just cant molesticate the willing.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 10899
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/29/2008 12:14:41 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		You can if you hit the right spots, lol.
Still, I'll take gropes n fondles wherever I can get them.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 10900
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