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lusciouslips19 -> RE: I love it when..... (6/6/2009 9:30:20 AM)
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I love it that I said,"then go away". Many know I was talking to a certain someone from my past that was good to me in many ways and inept in others. His words and actions were not meshing. He was trying to put forth an agenda of his own on his time line or something else that just frustrated me. Icould not be submissive to that cause as you guys know, I could not be submissive to him initially because of his past mistakes. I had been waiting to see him in person and it was one thing after another. I was feeling strung along. Moga said, "use your head, not your heart". Thats what I did. I told him that if we couldnt see each other this weekend and talk about the issues then call me tonight(friday night) if not leave me alone. Im movin on. I realized, he puts out the illusion of closeness but its all smoke and mirrors. Plus you know he saw me as a happy distraction but a distraction is not a part of ones life. I recognized he is just as commitment phob as all the guys who arent telling me how wondeful I am. So I will just have to remain this guys fantasy. Bye bye.
Im not hurt or upset. I feel really good about it. I was in a holding pattern. I got tired of waiting. So not only did I sign up for the free friday of the month of a nearby club and get my ass whooped and saw a very nice dom who actually is looking for a relationship(just friend at this point), I am also meeting a very interesting and eclectic gentleman tonight. I am working right now(I know rough, I am just sitting here in case a student needs me) and start at the college next week and a regular day at this place starting july. I am at a really good place and that dude, well i think he wanted to always save me. But I dont need saving. I am not looking for a phone guy friend, Calls with him were too superficial on his end. I have my friends. they are here for me and i feel really good about the place I am at and the way I went about wondering if things could be and the process. they cant. So thanks everyone for your ears and the advice you gave. You guys mean the world to me. I love that you are all in my life!
Im ok with being alone too. I am in a really good place right now! I am woman, hear me roar
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