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Daddysredhead -> RE: I love it when..... (2/21/2009 6:26:25 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum
I feel this strange sense of competition when the Face is beating me...like, I have to take it harder than he can give it and can't safeword blah blah blah....so, what the heck is wrong with me? I always feel it afterward, but during, it is like the pain doesn't register. Does anyone else feel this way?
I understand. The last time He played hard with me, I was restrained tighter than I ever have been to my bed - 4 point restraints, hospital grade. He didn't really give me a warm-up, and I was stunned when He used the cane on me harder than I ever had it before. He knew it was unbelievably painful and I truly think He was testing me. (I've asked Him to do that before, to see how far I can go.) When I felt like I was coming a bit unglued, He said, "It's easier to ask for the cane than it is to get it, huh?" All I could manage to get out was, "Yes, Sir." (barely above a whisper) My ass has never been so bruised and swollen and "tore up" as they say. I was happy to take what He dished out, and asked why He stopped when we were talking about it the next day. He said, "Sometimes I know better what you can take than you do." I wanted more, but actually don't know if I could have stood any more than what He dished out that night on that night. I'm lucky that in His 19 years of doing this, He is very aware of what He's doing and how the subject of His wickedness is doing. I appreciate that sometimes He saves me from myself.
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